i m tired ...

To,
whomsoever it may concern..


that was all crap...
thats the most stupidly contradictory thing i have ever written in life..
i have been plagued by fatigue, stress and the entire family (yes dono side ke relatives like frustration, chid chid....) for the past month..how can i feel wonderful ??
confused as ever..

u know what, in fact i m feeling helpless..
i have been making fuss about lot of things lately..
and when i realised this..i thought its better to let things as they are..
cos i cant control what others think and do..ab koi devtaa to nahi main..ya fir this aint any game where im god's favorite and bestowed with infinite power to control others and rule them !!!

so in short and in order to stop making fuss/issues about things, i have started minding my own business..
now some people think thats being selfish.. :(
sadly it is..but it saves tons of eneriges of a malnourished and working (thats sone pe suhaga in devil's own tongue!) IT professional who is going through a tough phase.. (read between the lines, for a workaholic soul being on bench is tough! for someone who loves each and every aspect of mother nation, the prospect of leaving it behind is tough!)

'my mind' is already playing all sorts of loser games on 'my mind'.. :(
nowadays simple things like opening a word doc, seem like solving da vinci's riddle..
i feel aged and weared out..
though one part of me is dying to explore the newfound horizon, the other still wants to read many untouched/unfinished chapters..
and worst is they aren't even fighting/pulling/pushing each other..so it makes all this even more difficult..
to make it simple I AM TIRED !!

regards,
nightflier

P.S. this is a much needed outburst :)
P.P.S. every word i wrote yday is true to my knowledge :)

I feel wonderful ...

I am going through one of those life defining phases ..
(guys dont be disheartened, i aint getting married :D its too early for that !)

I am not sure about many things i m doing, but tell u what, these are molding me..
i somehow hate to define myself, cos human mind has no bounds..who m i to define it..
(sometimes i do feel like a speck in this vast 'underworld' !)

coming back to things which make me feel wonderful..

the first rains..yes they hit pune yday..before mumbai..may be pre-monsoons..who cares..

the sun plays luka chupi all day..and suddenly the sky becomes a kaleidoscope of colors..the colors touch ur soul..and it starts to pour (rain would be a simple word to describe what it was initially!)

the hazy images of ppl running for shelter (most of them), some enjoying the shower and some just sipping the coffee (like me) and observing, these are the things which come to my mind right now..
i dont know why i feel so overwhelmed..
may be its the feeling that nature remains the same wherever u go..i have observed it..and hope it helps me embrace the new place, people and country with open arms..
every time nature changes its shades..i get nostalgic..i time travel and ohhhhh......
its just wonderful..
enough to make my day !!

i have enjoyed every moment since yesterday..

a walk in the rain all alone..
the prattle of my roomies over dinner..
the early morning (today!) sunrays..
the tree beside my bedroom..

Hope nature does the same to everyone of u..make u feel blessed..
Life s beautiful indeed !