All he ever wanted to do was race - Senna

I am always skeptic about documentaries. I mean they are piece of great research and devotion. And its difficult to take them lightly. Or ignore them like some movies. They have hard hitting, in your face facts or at least try to show them in a different light. Anywho point being I avoid them, because its not easy to not get affected by them.


So after much procrastination, dilly dallying, I finally found time to watch Asif Kapadia's documentary about the legendary and prodigious Formula one driver Ayrton Senna. It was a thoughtful and touching tribute to Senna (as he is popularly known). What struck out was Senna's introspective personality, his deep eyes, his disarming smile. Of course the F1 politics, rivalry with Prost, family relations, his celebrity status in Brazil were highlighted too. Despite all the rigors and aggression of the sport, Senna came across as a guy who liked pushing his limits of fear, of discovering himself. It was evident in his driving, in his passion and eyes.

courtesy - google

In a way the documentary is a gem because the way it built up to the final moments, was amazing. Despite knowing the finale one clung on to it, hoping nothing happens on that dreaded day.


Also as said by one of the journalists, in some poetic and unjust way Senna's end in a racing car seemed to be what senna really wished for, and given another chance in life knowing the end of this path he would have not chosen the alternative.


And the last frame of the film is the most moving and touching. 
I have an eternal crush on those haunting, deep Senna eyes!


Highly recommend.


~nightflier

the brother tale - I

There is dead skin around us all. In the form of dust. Around 60-70% is my estimate. We shed so much everyday, then it should really be easy to stay anew, afresh, burden free. So I think.


Staying with brother is comforting in a lot of ways. With room-mates I have always taken care to not express my irritation over things or general sulk over the day, which I manage to stock off for later use. With a cup of coffee and something to stare at, I normally take (used to take) all my space to get back to a more normal talking, jovial mood, after a grueling work day. Past 3 weeks have been hard on me. I have been working on weekends. Staying late nights. Taking all the injustice meted out (drama) in the form of unending waits for cabs. I have even cried after coming home. Not so much for the work load but over my helplessness with inefficient systems. Oh I am drawling. 


The comfort of all this being, I get to sulk, shout like a wasp (I can squeak when really frustrated), throw tantrums, not be me. And brother retaliates. He doesn't listen, tells me I expect too much, or sometimes I take things specially work too seriously, he sulks too. It's funny if you think of it. Because we work in the kitchen after all this drama, giving each other attitude and then laugh it off. Its a fun exercise. Not to meditate to get rid of some growing up burdens, but to actually express it out and be done with it. He also brings a meetha paan for me to top it off. Oh and I take care of the kitchen counter cleaning.


The comfort being the constant does not change. That's a good hope.

~nightflier


P.S. I don't feel weird telling everyone that I cry, because that's one signal that I care about a lot of stuff and get distressed over it :P It's a super power if you ask me!

Fringe benefits

of living behind a school are


* You never over-sleep. The chirping of the kids always wakes one up in time.


* You pray everyday. Despite the known rebellious attitude, you cannot help but hum the prayers the kids recite everyday during assembly.


* You sing the national anthem Jana gana mana everyday. You keep aside any work and make sure to stand/sit still for those 52 seconds.


* You *almost* never feel alone/lazy/sloppy. Because the campus is always abuzz with activity. Even on weekends.


* The energy of the kids gets you, to kick start *every day* with a new enthusiasm.


~nightflier


P.S. Good work days totally rock!!

Growing up with Andre and Steffi

So last week I had two options for books - In the plex (A book about google) and Open (an autobiography).
But I wanted to read some fiction, Secret of the Nagas, which had not yet released. Lately I have been having an overdose of non fiction, so thought would wait for it. But then that meant boring bus rides. So this came in handy and thought I might as well go the Agassi way :)


So after that brief pseudo bragging of how much and what all I have been reading/planning, I might as well write about the book :P


At home, I and baba (dad) are the only Tennis fans. I got it from him. That's the one thing we share *exclusively*. Our love for Steffi Graf, trying to find her perfect replacement, getting disappointed with every Martina, Venus, Maria (injury quotient wise), then Agassi-Sampras rivalry, hoping for something like that and more between Roger-Rafa, loving Federer's perfect shots and countless other stuff. He idolizes Steffi Graf. He can go gaga about her game, lack of injuries (until well after her peak years), grace, calm, composure. So one can wonder what role model I had while growing up. (He also has some older (era-wise) favorites, but since I havent grown up with them, I don't understand them much :D)


Agassi on the other hand was solely supported by me at home. Well his long locks, outrageous fashion made him stand out, did not it ? And growing up years need someone exactly like him to rebel up to! Baba always used to say Agassi never plays upto his potential. How will he ever make history. The book resonated with those words. Nevertheless Andre did create history. I personally did trust him less after his countless injuries, back outs, that *drug* thing, but his charm never faded. Until he and Sampras played, our home saw to it that I supported Andre and baba Pete. He even asked me once, if I like rooting for the underdogs. I did not know then. But baba was gracious enough to fairly let me take sides of whomever I liked/loved. Another contradiction in Agassi's story. He did not get to choose much for himself at least.


Another thing I loved the book for was for making me remember all the childhood tennis players. Courier, Corretja, Krajicek, Rafter, Chang, Becker Wilander.. Gosh! It seems like eons ago! I have literally youtube-d whatever videos I could find of matches described in the book and tried to re-live the times :) Nostalgia!!!

Spotted on a sunny morning at the LV store at the Taj (Mumbai)
circa 2007 November
(I was a little sad when none of my friends could
identify with my excitement after seeing it)
courtesy - google

Oh, and Andre also married Steffi Graf. I was so happy then that I told baba that now you should not doubt him, he has the best girl out there :) That's a perfect love story for me!! (but its pretty normal and mundane if you read the book) 


Anywho, great read if you watch/like tennis. Also inspirational when you see the struggle Agassi put himself through, with all the ups and downs of life. Pretty rewarding actually.


~nightflier


P.S. I still have not connected with anyone over Tennis (except for a friend or 2). Its still that special thing I share with baba. To think of it we don't have many common interests :)

Raksha bandhan special (questions!!)..

I have a few questions here people!

The pooja thali for reference
image - google

First how I arrived at them. Today while the rakhi tying ceremony, I remembered a lot of things Aai used to tell me as a kid. Don't slouch, bend neatly, rotate the supari (areca nut says wiki..how fancy) and gold ring properly, etc etc. She calls doing things half heartedly बिगार भरणा  (bigaar bharna  - means doing a mediocre job). So as I was following her instructions in my mind, I suddenly thought out aloud and asked everyone around 'Why do we use the supari and gold ring for the pooja ?' 


My aunt went into the ummmm mode and said the gold signifies wishing a prosperous future (golden and all).
I was not entirely convinced. So I passed on the dilemma to Aai who said basically the thali consists of things which every sister can afford - poor or rich. So supari here symbolizes the lord Ganesha who is prayed to before beginning any task/endeavor. Also that's why supari is commonly used as a Ganpati replacement in lots of poojas.
But then I said, how can everyone afford gold (To think of it not everyone can really afford gold). So after my contradictory response, Aai also went in the ummm mode :D


So the burden of not having my questions answered is passed on to anyone who reads this blog.
Kindly elucidate me the significance of these things or at least the stories behind them!!
Also if you guys use other things in the thali then would like to know :) For my own knowledge!


Oh and happy Raksha Bandhan to everyone :)


~nightflier


P.S. I have always secretly believed we need the best Raksha from the devils within :D

Being a 7 year old..

KT and I are childhood friends. We studied in the same primary school, in same class, also belonged to the same 'group of friends'. After that despite living in the same city and chance meetings, we landed together at engineering college. We are radically different (?) personalities and when we had gotten over all these years of un-attachment, we grew really close. This is a childhood kissa (incident) she told me few years back. The girl has weird memory skills, cos I somehow don't remember anything related.


So as normal kids, we were having a discussion about what we would ask our parents if secured first ranks. Someone said the new Barbie doll, someone said the kitchen collection (called bhatukli in Marathi), someone said a trip to somewhere. Ta da comes my turn and I very simply (I hope) said, I will ask Aai (mom) to make Pav bhaji.
I think she somehow thinks that was being really sorted out of me at such an early age.
On the other hand, I think I was a damn fool, because to think of it I did get a first rank that year. I should have wished/asked for anything I desired. :-/


Anywho, I think I wished/asked for Pav bhaji cos it would have been a respite in the summers, when the vegetable options were so few and so boring. (dudhi, beans, chavli etc)
But I would like to believe what I think she thought. Sorted out. Sounds peaceful to me :)


~nightflier

change

So on this rather dull day, I would rather be off on a boat/yacht sailing somewhere preferably in chilly weather sipping coffee, bundled up in my comforter, reading book, cooking when I felt hungry and moving on.

Alas.. I am in office breaking rules. (One is not supposed to access personal sites from work).

So anywho, thbpth (that's :P in Calvin lore) to sys admin people. I will live my rather warm day-dream through a blog template change :)

~nightflier

P.S. Krishna here (a grad school friend) used to change his website template almost everyday. I am not exaggerating!! There used to be at least one template change every 2 days. We would always tease him saying he is going insane :D
Now on this rather bore of a day I seem to appreciate his need for change. Every day.

the pre-birthday wish list

Since I can remember I have accepted it to accept birthday gifts graciously. Whatever they may be. But as Upasna mentioned, its time to be vain. Specially since stuff-one-can-afford limit has gone up and hence feel that my friends would oblige to gift anything from the below list. I am not including family, as I get them to gift me what I want every damn time :D 
(like for rakhi shamelessly asked brother to pay for this -> https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=267729449907816&set=a.260763833937711.84759.147971171883645&type=1 )

image - google

1. NestRest. Warm, cozy, the best place to get all my reading/writing/thinking done :) 
From here.


2. A box of crayons and colored pencils. The last one got over. So need new stock to doodle with. Also colored hand made papers to doodle on :D


3. A ruled moleskine. HERE! (Normally I prefer doing my own stationary shopping, but this one is an online buy (only outlet I could find is in Mumbai!!))


4. Hog on the streets of Paris. (I am watching Amelie right now!!!! Did you know Amelie Poulain is an INFJ too ? Also, guess who else is ;))


5. A trip to Morocco (Marrakech). Like a stay for a week. Not a group trip or something. Just exploring the cuisine and culture.


6. Drive on the lake shore drive in Chicago. I somehow could not do this the 2 years I lived there as I did not have a driving license :( 
After the drive a really long walk across the Lake Michigan trail would work just fine :D


7. Bunch of white lilies or gladiolus. 


8. A really elaborate home cooked meal consisting of wine, chicken biryani, pita bread, hummus and greek salad. Weird combination I know. But I am really hungry right now and in a mood to eat these all, in no particular order!!

image - google

9. Star gazing with a telescope!! (First I have to persuade any of my friends to buy a telescope!!)
<- Until then, this would work too!


10. A silk scarf. Peacock blue to be specific.


11. How could I forget! Hand made greeting cards :)


Wow this was so much fun!! Plus a feel good :) Specially after a sleep deprived regular night. 
Please do share your list too! Would love to read and make additions to my already getting-longer-in-my-head list ;)


~nightflier


P.S. In other news finished Rabindranath Tagore's short stories collection last week. Totally mesmerized by his writing all over again.
And the Woody Allen film festival successfully kicked off last week. Since I still have not got hold of a decent copy of Midnight in Paris, watched Annie Hall last sunday. Totally LURVE!! KT if you are reading this, then this is in tow of the guru dutt festival we did 3 years back. Feeling nostalgic already :)