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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Contact

"
It's hard to imagine the golden record being made now. I wish Carl Sagan were here to say, 'You know what ? A thousand billion years is a really long time. Nobody can know what will happen ? Why not try ? Why not reach for something amazing ? There is no way to forestall what can't be fathomed, no way to guess what hurts we're trying to protect ourselves from. We have to know in order to love, we have to risk everything, we have to open ourselves up to contact - even with the possibility of disaster.'
"
-- Penny Lane 'The Voyagers'

Cannot believe it took me a gap of 14 years to read the book after having watched the movie. Amazed. Wonder. Isn't life exciting with a bit of serendipity though ?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Prison

On sunday talked to a runner-friend about prisons. Built around ourselves. Making us come back or stay put over and over again. Counter acting forces when life is about moving on, not steadiness. Motion.
Crossed a tweet on my timeline which said something similar. Prison. No escape. Pretense.

Why do we do that ? When I came back from the US one of the stories in my head went like this - oh all my family and loved ones are here. I was paving way for my own prison. Never said it out loud to anyone. The long winded story involving a card sounded better. Plus less pity* and more you asked for it looks.

I still think about it sometimes. My family and loved ones being here. The comfort. Then I see a prison. I tell myself build one with an exit door. Leave when you fancy, come when you crave. Be whimsy. A little more than selfish. Because living inside self constructed walls must feel terrible. Lying to oneself by choice must feel even more bad. My prison is my doing. So I must learn to break it down and escape. Take help may be ?

"We construct our own prisons and spend our lives pretending there's no escape"

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Weekend in pictures! - II

Now that the ankle is fine I finally hit the road and ran a 5k loop, only to feel exhaustion and drugged slumber. Atonement the book (highly recommend) was completed with teary eyed thoughts about writing. Amorres perros (first in the bable triage) was seen and liked. Though the animal cruelty shown is disturbing. Dog lovers should avoid.
So here it is in pictures!!
* all images from google

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Cliche (reliving)


Going back to past post after last night's prolonged discussion with friends. We were talking about kids and why one brings new people into the world. Completing the circle of life. We all agreed and thought that was a worthwhile thought.

"Living in a hostel for 4 years among girls from all across the state (country even, but I never ended up mixing with the girls from across India well until the final year. anywho) most of them from Marwari background, where they knew marriage was going to be a huge part of their life once they got out of the place. We spent huge amount of time discussing did we want careers. As in what would being an engineer mean, as we aged, etc etc. 

Not a lot of us wanted to save the world. Some wanted happy families, some money, some independence. I was under the influence of Rand then, humongously, and (as Upasna's growing up curve says) 'wanted to save the world with my objectivity'*. The fact is we all grew up. We remained idealists, wanted to stick to our perceptions of careers, life, and are still doing that, but (I think) we lived a cliche. And we are still trying to live one. Not caring if that's what our scoreboard is.

As you grow up, I think somewhere you lose clarity and objectivity. Of things around, of what you want. It happens with me a lot. Sometimes in succession, sometimes in cycles. Always inspiring (to myself) from where and how I arrive at the clarity. Eventually. But the fact remains it still feels like a cliche.

I know not all of us are supposed to break the barriers and change the world like Steve, DFW did. Nor are we all supposed to find meaning through our work/family/love. Sometimes it may come through most redundant (what we think) sources. But meaning does come. If you keep trying i.e. And I hope we live that one cliche. Of finding meaning.

* I still sometimes slip into that mode."

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Weekend in pictures!


This was my weekend! Discovered pic collage on the ipad. Hence the edgy experiment. How was yours ?



Friday, March 1, 2013

On reading guns and merissa mayer

#totally disconnected topics in the title.

I remember a gunshot fight that happened in a school right across my apartment complex when I lived in Chicago. A few people were hurt, lots of cops vehicles and sirens abound the neighborhood. The security in the form of regular cop car patrols were increased in the following days. I never understood the implications of gun violence or the access to having guns this easily. Across the street I even slept a very peaceful sleep that night and the next 2 years. Guess its the country I came from, I told myself. Because in my country people get killed* (or become part of unnecessary shit) very randomly and like everyone else we dont bother much unless its one of us or close ones.

I was specially intrigued (for myself) in trying to have an opinion about so many debates people keep on having around access to firearms. So I picked Stephen King's Guns a short read/essay about gun violence and its implications and potential roots. A few pages into the essay I felt it was more about King's use of violence/repression/depression in his own books. But he did make great points when he explored why this isn't american culture or how some processes in the system are flawed. Even mental illness and how its dealt with. (Specially after watching silver linings playbook, which makes a strong case for people suffering from non apparent illnesses). Of course this still doesnt help me in forming or having an opinion about things. Like all complicated things, humankind's needs for creating firearms and using them to hurt each other is beyond my limited mind powers. What I do understand though is the politics and power in such games. I have lived in India long enough to be cynical about the government. And having watched house of cards has made me even more aware about how alluring 'Power' and 'Leverage' over someone else must be.

* makes me sound insensitive in my own eyes.

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Everyone I know is picking at Merissa Mayer. But what she is doing and why she is doing is totally related to Yahoo. Why is everyone making a point out of 'her being a woman' and being insensitive. She does not rule the world. A lot of countries are still living in (apparent) democracy.
not so creative office spaces!
but productivity rules..

I for once don't like working from home. Because I work in a tech company. My home network can never match the resources available at work, for productive work. May be, if I moved to a creative (journalism/cooking/fashion/sports) I would love to create or define my own work space. But until that happens I can totally vouch for people in tech industry. Productive and team work happens a lot better in offices. 

I sometimes think are we as humans expecting a lot from ourselves ? I tell this to myself over and over again that you don't have to want everything. Its ok to be awesome at work and then suck at some things in other sectors of life. Of course out of a childhood conditioning of wanting the best out of myself from anything I do. But over the past few years I am consciously teaching myself to not pressure myself too much. Anywho I digressed. But I cannot seem to agree on outcries about decision to stop 'working from home' for employees.