Bad things happen in life. But some things make you feel so small like a tiny weeny little creature. It's just hard to describe. I have been really selfish since quite a few days. My subconscious mind somewhere knew this, but the rude, arrogant conscious just did not let sense prevail. But I am totally in my senses now. 

I don't know what to say to all the people whom I have hurt knowingly and some unknowingly.

It's outright evil to hurt people.

I just hope things will be fine soon.

For all that is good in us and for all that is not so bad.. 

Do give me another chance..

for a new tomorrow...

Before I could blink my eyes another new year is already here. And I have to start believing that its not some magic quill but myself writing this new year post. Not that new years are not fun, but they kind of make you think, make you plan new resolutions (and the cliched : oh, do they ever get fulfilled !!), making the start of the new year a symbolic ritual, as if sun rising from the east everyday is!!

Anyways, my crazy year started on my birthday and as I had mentioned I have already done quite a few crazy things. 

We ventured out for 45 minutes on the coldest winter day in Chicago. Yep! The temperature was "Feels like -33 degree Celsius"! Fine. Don't believe me. But I know, that one outing gave me a new found (the new found levels were much higher than I earlier had) respect for the armed jawans who guard siachen glaciers. One word that describe the crazy cold is 'Killer'! 

Actually, checking out the frozen Lake Michigan was one of the to do things in our list. It was just a matter of finding some crazy people like me then. Thankfully I did. Not to mention we were the only dumb asses out in that freezing cold. It was the cartoon network type of cold, where wind blows and you just freeze. I had a layer of ice around my muffler, the insides of my nose were filled with frozen snot (its unbelievable, as I thought I had no cold before going out), my bones had gone numb (considering I am quite skinny, do not even imagine :D) and the body was stiff. Anyways, the walk to the lake was alright. The actual adventure began when we started back. With one of my friends reciting the gayatri mantra (its not hilarious!!) and I walking as if in a trance, with only one mission to reach the safety zone. Home sweet home, has been a meaningful phrase since then!

I am watching loads of TV series' these days. I am not a TV person, if you define sitting in front of the television and switching channels randomly as watching TV, then that's another thing. So I have started watching these TV series'. Again, don't gawp at me for the stuff I am going to write. I finally started watching FRIENDS, yes that famous series. And I have reached season 9 ending! Quite a feat. I am also watching Heroes. I also want to start B. R. Chopra's Mahabharat once again. 

Well, friends has been a nostalgic experience. I love Joey (as every other girl loves!). Plus now I know where half the jokes my friends used to crack come from! Ignorance was bliss.

Heroes is more like X men. Interesting and complicated! And I have a weak knee for science fiction.

On the brighter side, next time I meet you I will have 2 more things to talk about at least. Knowledge never goes waste, you see!

I saw Memento. That was one crazy thing for my limited capacity brain. I think after 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind', this movie tops my mind numbing movies list. I thought I actually had amnesia for a while. Thank god, I had read reviews earlier, otherwise I was a goner. I think that's how they managed to make money for this one! No one would understand the movie in the first sitting and you would pay at least thrice to give your brain the much needed mental exercise. Its quite a neurological experience. But wait, did I say that, its a directional masterpiece. Best one from Christopher Nolan, after 'Dark Knight' of course. Dark Knight scores for being a well packaged film obviously.

My crazy journey is going fine it seems. And as said I have documented it as well. 

So for the uninitiated, as the new year starts tomorrow (for some of you) I have not just changed positional longitudes, there has been a paradigm shift in my thinking as well. I don't know in which direction though. Hope that's fine!

On this note, I wish you all joy and happiness that lasts an year long. And I also hope we all change inwardly a bit (on the positive side) to make this world a better place to dwell in.

Have a good one :)

nightflier!

slumdog millionaire - watch it!!

Slumdog millionaire - awesomeness !!!!!!

It is a supremely wonderful movie. Words are not failing me, but I am searching for the right words. The emotion I am experiencing is a bit difficult to describe. 

Joy comes the closest. Yes! Joy it is. This movie was a thorough experience. So after the initial euphoric phase, I have regained my senses and its back to business.

Let's start with some trivia.

The Director - Danny Boyle - associated with acclaimed movie 'trainspotting'. I think after Mani Ratnam, this is the only guy who has done justice to life of Mumbai. Barring Mira Nair (and a few others) I guess, who had directed 'Salaam Bombay' (I have not seen the movie, so cannot comment). 

Music - Apna A.R. Rehman - He was the fact, that I ever came across the movie. I read somewhere about Rehman giving music to a British movie and my sporadic patriotism got me interested :D

Story - based on a book called Q&A by Vikas Swarup - Well if you know about the book, 1000 points to know the story !!

With the interesting facts in hand, what I am going to tell you is not how good the movie is, but how best it is!! 

First things first, Danny Boyle has chosen everything just perfect. If we start from the cast then, no one fails. It is spotless. I loved Dev Patel. The fearless, truthful underdog, Jamaal Patel, who just knows the answers. 

If I have not stated the fact anywhere else, then I say that Anil Kapoor is a truly underrated star of Bollywood. I say star, because this guy is amazing. He has the charisma, the ability and the style. And he is an equally better actor. As the host of the quiz show he is superb.

Irfan Khan, Saurabh Shukla, Freida Pinto and all others (some are very new names) are ekdum jhakas! 

Now comes the turn of the kids. They are the essence of the movie. And boy, Mr. Boyle does not fail at all. He has extracted unbelievable performances from kids barely 7 or 8. Then comes the crucial part of getting the exact emotions from teenagers. And since he has been so keen with his choice of people, he has excelled.

The script is simple and it shapes at a steady pace, never giving away more than necessary and culminates into an awesome, triumphant experience, for the audience. You clap at Jamaal's wins, you smile at his honesty, you laugh at the sarcastic jokes and cry at the cruel ways of life, many young kids in India are facing at the risk of losing their innocence. Still the script does not lose its naivety. It does not get involved in any unnecessary stuff. For example, the director has shown life in slums in such a way, that instead of feeling pitiful, you feel as if a part of it. There are some gruesome sequences in the movie, but unbelievably no blood has been shown. I mean imagine a point blank gun shot without any blood splattering or gore. This keeps the movie on highest levels of optimism. Another feather in the hat for Mr. Boyle.

I think loads of thinking and research or may be simple methodical work gives you such refined results.

Cast and direction are the crux for such movies. And both are first class !! :D Rehman's music sets the right tempo. There are many high moments in the movie which have been captured with the right notes.

Again, the movie could have been different in many respects. But with this storyline, I think there could not have been a better portrayal of the triumph of an UNDERDOG. 

This movie touched my chords. So much that I have to read the book and watch Boyle's all other movies.

By the way, just to give you some clues, don't miss the last dance, which comes with the credits. It is something which a kid Jamaal promises Latika :)

A true underdog story.

to each slumdog in us :)

nightflier!!

favorite quotes

Well its been many days since I wrote "some"thing (except for copied songs and terror attacks and laments). So here's something I have been trying to pen down for a long while now. Again this is a collection of what other people say. A bunch of quotes may be. But I loved them. Anyways, here's the list of my favorite quotes.

The Terminator : I will be back. - terminator 2 judgement day (the conviction in the words makes you trust even the terminator)

Howard Roark : Most people build as they live as a matter of routine and senseless accident. But a few understand that a building is a great symbol. We live in our minds and existence is the attempt to bring that life into physical reality to state it in gesture and form. For the man who understand this, a house he owns is a statement of his life. If he does not build when he has the means, its because his life has not been what he wanted. - The Fountainhead

Howard Roark : But I don't think of you. - The Fountainhead (says this to Ellsworth Toohey)

Calvin : Nothing spoils fun like finding out, it builds character. - Calvin (love that sarcastic undertone)

Louis Vuitton ad - Can there be a greater journey than love ? (the ad features andre agassi and my fav steffi graf :))

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : To the well organized mind death is but the next great adventure. - harry potter and the sorcerer's stone

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities - harry potter and the chamber of secrets (this quote also appears in book 4, some words here and there)

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. - harry potter and the order of the phoenix

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young. - harry potter and the order of the phoenix

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. - harry potter and the half blood prince

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - harry potter and the sorcerer's stone

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : In fact being rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger. - harry potter and the half blood prince

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore : Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love. - harry potter and the deathly hallows

well, again, it seems I have no life. Only dumbledore!! But these books and rand's writing have been great influences and motivators for me. I will keep adding stuff to this post. I can be a bit lazy on Sunday mornings :)

till then,

wish you all a merry x'mas !!

may the stars watch upon you.

hazaaron khwaishein aisi..

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein

Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen

Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage

Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se, Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna.

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho

Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho

Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho

Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho

Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.

Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan

Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan

Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye, Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,

Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

A point here and there ..

2 days after the Mumbai horror, I am still reading a lot of stuff, a whole bunch of articles, surfing through news channels. I really don't hate anyone or any particular community for what happened, but I kind of hate that so many brave people lost their lives.

A really good and interesting artical here by Arun Shaorie, Rajya Sabha MP and someone who can be trusted with authentic information.

 http://www.indianexpress.com/news/surprised/392625/1

I have given direct link here. 

Came across Karan Johar's blog as well through Youthcurry. As a thinker he also puts a very good point. We need to make peace with ourselves, in our daily lives, with our dear ones to wish for outer peace.

Exactly, the thing which is coming in my mind since this incident 'What we achieve inwardly, will change outer reality'. If we all yearned for this, may be, one day the world will be a lot better place to live in, than it is right now! If each one of us, the tiniest speck of the larger picture, did this, may be we would be more peaceful.

As far as the political system and will is concerned, I don't care much. Actually they stopped mattering to me since those train blasts. I will go to the extent of saying that, I wonder how we even make stupid mistakes of electing them. I think we need a central system, reporting only to one responsible (not any home minister, of course!!) person and making all the decisions. It would be so cool to see those terrorists nabbed and may be then we can talk about human rights and all that jazz!! I think I will make them dance to Mithun tunes, to make it even harder for them. Get some sense into these overtly senseless people.

Is anyone game to teach them the lesson of their lives ?

Then, you so much have company mate.

Long live zindagi,

nightflier :)

Under siege ..

As the haunting images of terrified people and cold blooded murderers still float in my mind, I wonder what is happening to the world.

Mumbai is one city with which I have had hate-love relationship. A place which I never came to like since my childhood, had become one of my dream cities lately (It still is!!). As I grew up, my small townish mind understood its vicissitudes and started to respect the city even more. Especially South Mumbai with its historical monuments and serene surroundings (the coloba shore line near the Gateway) are my favorite places. I remember we had made fun of the Taj by visiting Louis Vuitton shop and commenting on the exorbitant (but of course !!) display of clothes. It is a city which I have loved to like despite it being super fast, crowded, cluttered, congested and what not. Because, it is a city which lets everyone their own hero, in their own way. It is a city which taught me that life gives everyone their share of chances. 

Well, I don't have any intention of romanticizing the city and its people and their resilience. I am still horrified. I know some place does not become really unsafe and unsuitable for survival because of such incidents. But I hate the fact that the big shots who supposedly make the calls, are asking people to show their spirits and resilience. If there is someone who needs to show their spirits, its the damned terrorists, who instead of studying at a university preparing for their final exams are on a rampage out there. And those who are brain washing and training these young, impressionable minds need to learn about resilience more than anyone else in the world. 

Oh, I know I sound hopelessly idealistic and childish, but I still believe in the better side of people. I know life will be normal in a few days as if nothing happened, because in the end the show has to go on and all that stuff, but that does not mean that we should be taken for granted. It's saddening that Mumbai's janta has been taken for granted time and ever again. Will this never end? Does it ring a bell that though others (read the authorities) are responsible for our security, they are being made a fool out of, by being caught off-guard? Last time it was the trains, this time the sea route, what next? 

These are questions from a person who values life. I can imagine how a normal mumbaikar who has to face all this must be feeling.

I wish the authorities a 'get well soon' and 'get into action' . I also wish Mumbai a quick recovery. It's a city of dreams and it will remain so. 

Birthday bumps !!

For missy every birthday brings with it a feeling of anxiety, excitement, butterflies in the tummy and a lot of introspection. I write down one page about what I want to do, what I should do (and never act upon it !! :D)

Every birthday brings with it lots of unforgettable moments. I love the fact that so many people love me in spite of the obvious flaws. Its a great feeling.

Every birthday I also cry over lost innocence. Growing up does that to you, me thinks. The complexity of life, its so many layers and the ever lasting quest to understand, simplify them, sometimes makes you loose the childish charm about things. In the words of J. K. Rowling, 

'Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.'

hmmmm...

Oh well, birthdays are not only about such philosophical talk. I have gifted myself 2 great books, Eldest and Brisingr (by Christopher Paolini), considering that the reading habit is getting constricted in unknown (oh really!!) technical (I will definitely spare you the details) corridors !! 

This birthday is different in a way, as it will stay on for 3 days !! :D 

yea, considering the time difference, my birthday started according to Singapore time and will end according to US time. In a way, pretty hard on a person who is missing home!!

This birthday is also different on the celebrations front. The routine hang out with friends or my share of surprises is not there. Instead I will be working and finishing off some project reports. May be this one will go down as the quietest birthday in ages!! A good time to introspect (again!).

I wish myself happy growing up!! I hope the innocence within never fades, gets covered with layers of adultery. I wish that the child within never grows up (peter panish but still!!)

~nightflier :)

24 calling !!!

friend : so what's new ?

me: (thinking really hard!!! may be I can tell her that I bought some hummus yesterday..) ohh... saw my first snowfall yesterday :) :) (all smiles..its really difficult to come up with original and true replies these days..read life is so morose!!) It was a different feeling. Aisa laga jaise waqt theher gaya hai. I had a big smile carved on my tiny face! :) :)

friend: wow..good that you are enjoying!!

me: .....

Back to reality. I am enjoying. But the frequency instead of being in the supersonic range is in negative range. sigh..

So I decided its that time of the year when I make new plans and resolutions. I will be 24 soon. So my plan is to do/accomplish 25 crazy things I have not dared till date, by my next birthday. Quite an expectation from oneself to live upto. I desperately want the silver jubilee year to be spectacular. And as a testimony of my efforts to have fun (bah!!) I will keep this space updated. 

Anyways now I am going back to state space analysis (sounds so cool !! :D). 

25 here I come!!!

cheers,

nightflier!

simply awesome !!

I just had the "n"th look at the trailer of "dev d"!!!

Its based on the timeless classic for Indian film directors, DEVDAS, by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay.

Anurag Kashyap just amazes me. The promo looks so interesting. There are so many perspectives and ways to look at things and this man has given "the loser love ridden guy" such a cool look. The styling of the movie looks totally European. Choice of Abhay Deol as the lead again puts him in the "my new heroes who dare to be different and try something new" league. Bravo!!

Actually I don't have to be so overwhelmed. Someone who has been associated with quality stuff like Black Friday and Aamir, ought to be outstanding and different.

Take a look at the promo here. And tell me how you found the lyrics, specially 'emotional atyachaar' :)

Another simply amazing movie to look forward to is Slumdog Millionaire by Danny Boyle. Its already released in UK and getting good reviews. It is already on my must watch list!!

Looks like a good treat. Plus Rab ne bana di jodi and Ghajni (both look pretty ok) promos also out, I will be on a roll!! 

Yay!!

Stumped !

Its all over the place and all out. 

Kumble has retired and Ganguly is looking forward to it.

Soon it will be Sachin and Dravid. :(

Well, retirement is not so bad. But have you ever seen god retire ?

These people are like these big idols!! Agreed they are humans, they are not there to amuse or entertain us only!! Its sad.

It's sadder because, Indian (I would love to say the rest of the world too !!) fan following is mourning :( :( 

I have grown up with these heros in my house. Of course, my brother's heros. With missy so self involved, I would hardly care. But I still remember when every guy in my brother's friend circle wanted to be a spinner after Kumble came around. I just found (and still find) the spectacled and "engineer" (gives him a nerdy persona) part cute though!! 

Then came Dravid. They called him the wall. He was (now no more, after he married that doctor chic from my hometown!! how could he do that to me??) so cute (again!). He was considered the most technical player till date. His strokes were like..perfect!! And he was cold like steel in any situation!! And the looks (again!)

sigh..

I don't even know and remember  how many records these guys broke, how many matches they won us, how many centuries they scored, how many wickets they took, but I know one thing they were revered and will be forever!!

If I changed my religion and started following cricket, will you guys stay back a bit longer??

Its never too late you see, I already have my basics ready. There are so many people who still need real heros like you. Consider my suggestion (I don't need to add a "puhleeeeez", right?)

P.S. I personally don't have any opinion or much knowledge about cricket. I have grown up with cricket fanatics and have picked my bits and pieces from them. But I can feel the void forming inside me too. You don't really have to know/follow something to feel these things. I feel empathic with the cricketing community and fans! :( :(

join the bandwagon

If you are an aspiring MBA/MS candidate, then this post is for you.

Specially if in the country of 'Yes we can - Obama' and more specially if you are Indian, then you have hit the right spot, oops URL.

New term is approaching and application season has started. When the graduate admission office is busy sorting out stuff and deciding on whom to admit to their elite club, here are some tips for starry eyed aspirants.

1. This whole process is very exhaustive. Specially if you don't have any close friends/peers giving you company, cursing the courier people, understanding the essence of going through this ordeal, then there are very bright chances of 'you getting frustrated'. So have loads of patience. Start meditation to avoid catastrophic situations!

2. Start your application process as early as possible. Always remember the invaluable lesson of logic and practicality, 'First come first served'. This improves your chances of getting admitted with a handsome aid (financial of course, you weirdo :P) by your side. 

This does not, at all, mean that the ones who apply around the threshold don't get through. Most of the applicants lie in that region. But as a victim of that attitude I would advice to be smart by starting early.

3. Keep all the paperwork like recos, transcripts, sops and financial docs ready. This adds to the smartness quotient on your part. Remember we are trying to reduce stress, strain and assorted relatives. 

4. Unlike in India, here people do not have entrances except for the GMAT/GRE (I call them the GATE PASS, as they are nothing more than that, but the scores are crucial, no matter). So once you have the initial score ready, start your research immediately. Focus is required for any kind of post graduation. I would seriously stress on being serious about stuff. What you do after coming here, I mean focus or not focus is totally your choice. But for the application part show focus and dedication. The energy and national currency converted in US dollars (which is in comma right now) one invests in this process should not be wasted according to me.

5. Professional help is not so mandatory for the recos and sops, if you are focused enough on what you want to do. But if you are not sure, then I would suggest that you join one of them. It will help you get a point of view on what you want/should do, at least.

6. Once you start applying, enjoy your time. Because, once you come here, life would be totally different. Your peer group, life style will change drastically. So get ready for the change by having a blast. This is based on my optimistic observation that, if you apply to 7 schools, you get through minimum 2, with 80% chances of actually landing here! :)

There are many personal experiences, I would like to share. Maybe sometime later. Do take care of steps 1-3. 

Life's is much better if you come here with a clear and focused mindset. 

All the best!

nightflier :)

Dil vil pyaar vyaar !!

Love is in the air. I know its not the holy month of February, all you love gurus and valentine suckers !!

Its in the air, because I sense so. (Again, its not about me. Better clarify. Spare me your oooh's and aah's :D)

So, when I see people around me (hush..hush..) in the 'ooooh..so sweet' (flutters eyelashes) thing called love, I ask myself, what is love, baby???

I secretly know I do not know the exact answer though I love so many people in my life :). But then when I do not know perfectly about something, I make it a point to know the things not associated with that something. Like, I do not know about the game of baseball. But I seriously know that its not like cricket, though people run amock in a field for a single ball (!!!) like mad and you score runs and get caught, etc, etc. Now, you got the point ?

Anyways, coming back to ishq vishq and all that matters, my take on what is not love.

Love is not something which makes you miserable. Where you cry over a stupid thing someone said, for hours. Then the other person broods over it and then the chain reaction. Phew. If someone says something stupid to me, I tell him/her how stupid it was. It did not make sense. And end the stupidity there. I mean crying over such things wastes a lot of energy, unless it is something very serious, like 'hey, you are such a jerk, to love Shahrukh khan.' Its self invited war in such cases !!! 

So number 1, love does not make you miserable. Miserable to emotions, circumstances, stupid mistakes.

Love is not about 'me' or 'you'. It's a lot more about 'US'. Not the country yaar, the 'we' part. The togetherness part :) Me and you put a lot of pressure on the 'love' quotient. The 'we' part helps love grow in a free manner :)

(disclaimer: I did watch 'u, me aur hum', liked it in bits and pieces, but these are my views!!)

The fall in love is not just a phrase. It symbolises the ultimate rise. This applies to every relation according to me. Again stressing that things are supposed to make you happy. There has to be a sense of belonging, caring and bonding. The rise is just felt in the right way then. It is such a high I tell you!! Not better than dancing all night to bollywood tunes though!

Love is not a do or die dependency. The dependency is more mutual. But it does not hamper any one's lives. I mean 'main tumhare bina nahi jee sakta/sakti' stuff is too hyperbolish and filmy. Even you know that, each of us can live without each one of us. It's the way god designed our genes, that makes us a social animal. Not much of our fault, you see.

I do not know how KJ and yash chopra movies work (I am a sucker for this mush though!!) when they say love is friendship and love is not just friendship, but I would ultimately like to believe that  love has companionship. How boring it would be otherwise to watch all this mush alone?

Love is not just girl-boy. It can be between anyone. Brother-sister, father-son, professor-student (the respectful love, don't raise those eyebrows), girlfriends (girls who are "friends"), boys who are friends (!!), your dog and me (ohh..do I miss bruno?? :() I find the 'love actually' (great movie!!) type of love definition appealing. 

Love really is not bound by cast,creed and religion. For the conservatives, I can love anyone. Come on' its love we are talking about. Its a natural and pure feeling. If only we could filter our feelings that way!!

Love does not necessarily metamorphosise into a successful relationship/wedding. Some 'love' stories are good as just stories. Love and relationships have really different dynamics. Love relates you to someone, but vice versa can not be true always. Like a boy and girl though really great as friends can sometimes not hit it off that well, if they were betrothed. So specially teenagers and people my age (I am not so old, you see) should chillax. Love happens and so do relationships. You just have to take it easy.

Lastly, though love brings along some anxiety and possessiveness, it's not desperation. I can not think of how to explain this point. :-/

My love fundas are not coming out of my ever exhaustive brain anymore. I know a lot though :D

I just blogged because had this unbearable urge to write something down and got up out of my slumber, to jot this down.

The thoughts could have been more coherent and synchronised, but this was an urge after all !! :)

One last thing once again, Love actually is all around :)

nightflier!

P.S. Not being in 'love' in the v-day fashion also entitles you to write you views ;)

coming around

What do you do when you have had the fight of your life with one of your buddies?

What do you do when you realize how lonely you have become?

What do you do when you realize that you are in the US of A?

What do you do when you are sulking in the remains of a nasty fight?

What do you do when you have not slept properly for the past 3 weeks?

What do you do when sense finally starts prevailing and ego starts shedding?

What do you do when you realize 'Relationships are horcruxes. One should not break away 

from things so easily.' (Someone really sane had told me this once).

What do you do when you realize that you have been secretly brooding over things yourself, and counting on the chances of the other person coming around?

What do you do when the 'other person' actually calls up after all the shit?

What do you do when you start realizing how selfish and small you have been?

What do you do when the better of you, the goodness tells you to forget?

What do you do when the ego tells you that its ok to forget but not so easy to forgive?

What do you do when the void forming inside is too much to bear?

What do you do when you are really down in the dumps and need a shoulder to cry on?

What do you do when the real meaning of friendship starts sinking in?

What do you do when 'it's time to be good and nice again'?

I think, you just dial the number in your phone directory and don't ask so many stupid questions to yourself.

Life is too short to be bad and nasty to people. Friendships are too bigger than ego, to give up on.

Emotions are too complex sometimes, to actually give so much thoughts and energy to.

Life is really easy if you set it straight!!

nightflier !

General..

Fall break is over. So is Diwali (almost!).

Life has seen some highs and lows. Highs of scoring good in mid-terms. Even such stuff feels like a high when you have had some of the most bitter experiences in relationships. It was like gulping a dose of that yuckiest syrup (i hate syrupy medicines !!!) which your doctor prescribes in spite of you telling him that you would prefer being sick than having to force 'that' through your esophagus!! But some things need to be learnt the hard way and you have to move on!! Move on as in slap yourself a 100 times for being such a fool, then kicking your ass another 100 times and trudge forward !!!

One new lesson learnt and life is the same again. But this time I have A. R. Rehman's refreshingly superb music by my side. 

Yuvraaj's music is out. I have a gut feeling that the movie is going to suck big time, but hold on, the music is amazing!! Listen to Mastam Mastam, and you will know what I am saying. 

Gulzaar is weird, mann!! The song goes like this..

bheje mein bhauchaal hain,

pairo mein pataal hai,

dil ka ahwaal le ke aaye !!!!

only he can write such stuff! Specially after that na na song from Guru, it can only be him!! But this is not about how weird Meghna Gulzaar's dad is. This is about what a super musician, mr. Rehman is! This song has a carnival feeling to it. So many emotions are strewn in this song. So many moods. I bet after the initial, what the hell was that reaction, you would rewind it again and again and again. Alka Yagnik is mint fresh. And Sonu Nigam proves that he is talent and loads of talent. The mouth organs, violins and the chorus at the end just add to the awesumness of the song!

The other song which made quite a rounds on my media player is Manmohini. Good fusion of classical and modern notes. I liked all the classical notes.

Zindagi is the softest song from the album. Has some really good high notes and refined singing.

Shano Shano is the ultimate club song. There's everything international about it.

Tu muskura is again nice. Wonderful lyrics (I understood them for a change. Gulzaar can be kind sometimes!). I would have preferred Kavita Krishnamoorty or Sadhna Sargam better still. hmmm.. I don't doubt the god though :)

Tu hi meri dost hai is one of the high points of the album actually. The music is simply amazing. Singers scores a 10 on 10, with Rehman's complex music.

Most of the music comes as a crescendo. Initially soft stuff and then some really high and complex notes. After all Ghai claims that Yuvraaj is a musical!! The music has that MUSICAL quality. 

(I know I have conveniently not written about some songs because I simply have not listened to them. I mean I don't listen to stuff like 'main hoon yuvraaj'!!!!! which is not even a song) And so now you also get that I am not reviewing the music here :) 

Also listen to Desi girl from Dostana. If you did not shake your leg on that beat, I would suggest you meet a doctor. Shankar Mahadevan has this uncanny ability of bringing life to the most ordinary song (sadly most ordinary music). 

Listen to mastam mastam. It is playing for the 1000th time in my house, much to my roomie's dismay. (conspiring whisper, she hates that song !! :D)

mast mast dar mastam, dar bhind bhind dar mastam, ast hast gar mastam, dar mastam.. (I loudly sing this to annoy her some more :D hope she will not read this!!)

Listen to it :) :)

Happy Diwali !!

Wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous Diwali !!

This is my second Diwali away from home, in a string of 'away-from-home' Diwali's, a routine which looks kind of set now. 

On the first away Diwali, I was in Mysore. Trying hard to catch a glimpse of those festive lights in the markets and houses. Dying to wear new clothes on each of those 5 days. Craving for Diwali faraal. And jumping at the distant sound of bursting of a cracker sitting in my hostel room, 25 km's away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

Well, it was a different experience. I had watched a movie, first day first show, more of a premier of DON, the SRK one. This was a prohibited thing to do back home. Watching a movie in a theatre, that too on Laxmipujan day was considered a sin!!!! Actually, it never occurred to me as a kid that you could also celebrate Diwali, in such modern fashion !! :D

The saving grace that time had been a visit to a temple and some couriered faraal (puran poli,chakli and chiwda) from home. Mom's are incorrigible. The thought of enjoying all these pleasures without their kids around is torturous to them. Meriwali (as SRK says in kal ho na ho) is sending some stuff this time too :)

Some things to reminisce about.

I used to have a set of allotted tasks every year. Making torans (garlnads) for the house. Every year me and my bro would come up with some new ishtyle and decorate the front door and gallaries. 

Then was the herculean task of drawing Rangoli. Herculean because, I would draw a single big rangoli for our entire neighborhood (my place and the neighbor aaji's place). That was the most fun activity. Everyone would try to help me out in their own ways. Aajoba used to get his big ruler and help me out aligning the dots. I was never a free hand person so would always draw the rangoli with dots and straight lines with as little curves as possible :) Then my brother and dad, would help me out choose the color scheme. It was a matter of neighborhood pride, you see, which house has the most colorful and spectacular rangoli. Mom would be the last person to take a peek along with aaji, too busy in the kitchen with a grand menu of Puran Polis, bhajji, saar (aamti) and rice. They would give critical remarks or try to suggest something  different, which I would just shrug off saying, they should be happy with the 3 hours of collective efforts!!

The last task used to be arranging the living room, lighting lanterns, illuminating every nook and corner of the house, inviting goddess Laxmi to enlighten our lives (that's the childhood story I have been told and come to believe). 

Well, the list ends here. Shows how much my mom trusts me!! 

No heavy duty work my way :D 

There were some routines which I secretly detested as a kid. The get togethers for faraal, where entire neighborhood families will come over. The joshi's today and the Sharma's tomorrow. For the sole reason that, I would never finish off the stuff in my plate, only to get sneers and booos from other kids. Thankfully mom-dad were too sweet to say anything in front of everyone!! I still wonder how some kids can eat just anything in their plates. I have no disrespect for food, but I can eat only little at a time :( A trait which is in my system. I admire those kids and their parents, who never had to teach their kids eating manners, unlike mine :(

I also did not approve of it very much it, when my brother would just drag me to the terrace and burst those noisy crackers. The peace loving me would just disappear in a corner with ears covered with both hands. Why guys his age loved to show off their firecraking skills, was a mystery to me then. Initially like a good caring sibling, thinking that I have a perpetual fear of crackers, he would encourage me to try bursting them. Thankfully he gave up :) But can you imagine, he's celebrating a non polluting Diwali this year, as a mark of respect to my absence!! Poor thing sure does not know that, I enjoy the navy pier fireworks almost every alternate weekend :D

I miss all this.

But Diwali away from home, also gives me a chance to celebrate it in my own way. To try something different. I kind of have an apartment of my own (haaan..rented hai lekin mera hai :D) So I am making elaborate lunch plans. No match to mom's culinary skills, I admit. But my desi and non-desi friends will not mind, as long as they are getting good food!! Planning to attend Diwali mass. And light some lanterns too. Catch up on studies and watching some animated movies is something else I want to do.

We have also cleaned the house, almost. And now I know what a pain it must be for the motherkind to do this huge task all by themselves with a little help from us and maid aajibai.

All the good things and bad things apart, what matters is the festive spirit. Celebrating life and making yourself and in turn others happy :) Indulging in small activities to make life more fun. We need such breaks to enjoy the feeling of togetherness. Many people don't need a reason to celebrate, but for those many who have forgotten the little incentives life has to offer, this is like an opportunity offered every year, without any 'conditions apply' tag at the end. 

I wish that no conditions apply to your happiness and good spirits this festive season. Wish you all an illuminating Diwali and a-throw-your-fears-away Halloween (just remembered..it's the halloween on 31st OCT!!).

nightflier :)

Unaccustomed Earth

Its a collection of short stories by noted author Jhumpa Lahiri.

Each story opens up the human nature in a different way. A brief synopsis.

1. Unaccustomed earth : The title story tells the tale of a father and daughter, separated by the invisible walls of loneliness, after the death of their only common thread, his wife, her mother. The distances which grow between them. Each's idea of bridging it. The father never wanting to be near his daughter for more than a fortnight. The daughter wanting him to take care of her family in an Indian fatherly way. The unaccustomed earth of her kitchen garden, where she has recently moved, becomes their bonding place as the father develops a special love for his grandson.

This is the best story of the lot. A deep uneasiness in the characters. The uncomfortably comfortable relations they share. The way even a father and daughter separated by a huge emotional gap, would bond at an unaccustomed place.

Thumbs up to this story!!

2. Hell-Heaven : This story explores the psyche of a woman. Her instincts and her emotional capabilities. As a woman, the author knows eaxctly which shades to highlight. Her observations of the human mind leave a lasting impression.

3. A choice of accomodations : The story of an emmigrant boy and his american wife. A very simple story, about how marriages work, fall apart and again work. Again her observations of those tiny emotions, captured in words, is simply amazing.

4. Only goodness : I personally liked this one too. The story of two siblings, who brought up in a foreign culture, loose the bonding while growing up. The efforts of one as the responsible and competitive sister always losing against the carefree and lost brother. A secret of drinking beer at nights after their parents fall asleep, turns into an addiction for the brother. Something which is unacceptable to the Indian mindsets of the parents. This devastates the perfect family the sister's trying to nurture.

Again her meticulous observations and the ability to weave story in a flashback stand out.

5. No Body's Business : A complicated love traingle. That's the only thing that comes to my mind when I think about it.

6. Hema and Kaushik : Fiction at its best. The story of two individuals with separate lifestyles joined by a single thread, a dead woman. This story travels from American coasts to Europe to Asia to leave a lasting impression. Kaushik's need to keep on moving, not to settle at a single place, not to feel the sense of belonging. And Hema's struggle to make herself feel belonged, by trying to settle in a foreign country. Their love and its defeat. The sad end to the story. Every part is touching.

Lahiri's emotional wisdom is just amazing. She delves into such realms of the mind, so effortlessly, that you relate with the lives and struggles of the characters. The stories do seem bounded by the whole emigrant experience.

A good and soft read if you are really into short stories.

Ironically I have not read her earlier works. I have to dig more now. She is impressive!!