I am really really distressed right now.


Is friendship a convenience ? Do people stay close or in touch because its easier, convenient or because they want to (despite the distance and individual problems) ? 


Most of my friends are people whom I never ever thought I will be friends with. As in it was nothing pre-decided or something. We shared rooms, we shared classes, we sometimes shared nothing in common. But we still became what we are. Through those ups and downs, fights, silent treatments and other such drama including all the fun, care, love, and affection. Oh but, to think of it, this sharing or non sharing has been a convenience in a way. Of course, almost everything goes the other way round. And even though something which starts as being convenient, to maintain it or not is that a matter of convenience too ?


It is not always possible to be truthful to yourself. Specially when other people are involved. Of course, the friend wants to eat chinese while I dont. I don't think in any relationship including friendship its possible to always have same opinions or desires (otherwise how will we grow?). And thats how on a very superficial level it isnt always possible to do what you want. Of course to be with the person or not, is the basic necessity. If you dont want that, then all these questions wont arise.


Of course, as we grow up spending time everyday or even talking or calling or meeting becomes a luxury. Why, if friendship was a convenient means we would just be making horcruxes along the way and totally forget about them moving on.


Deeply disturbed I am right now. Friendship might be a need, want, sometimes a rainy ride you HAVE to take because a friend is in trouble, but a convenience, NO.


~nightflier

Its 5.20 am as I post this.

vegetables, groceries and the familiarity

Since I got domesticated (read started living on my own, cooking on my own) buying vegetables/groceries has been an integral part of life.


As a kid aai won't normally take us. With those bags to carry and my love to sit/stand in the front of the scooter who would take me! (on a totally random note, baba had an LML vespa and it had more flat room to stand comfortably. That was one big reason why I did not like bajaj scooters! :D) I make it sound bad though ;) For most of the part I never liked going to vegetable markets because


1. There would be lots of puddles owing to water generously thrown over and around vegetables to keep (make them look) fresh and I had a knack for stepping into them. Clumsy much ?
2. Aai had fixed vendors selling her type of vegetables (I will come back to this) and I never liked made to walk a lot inside the market.
3. There would be lots of known faces in the crowd. *not much of a like*


Plus instead staying at home and getting to watch an episode of Shrimaan Shrimati/all the best (depending on if it was tuesday or friday) was too tempting and the numerous fights that would ensue between me and bro and then later partners in crime agreement if asked by aai-baba what we did for that 1 hour. Filmy but quite heart warming :)


Anywho, so I am back to the routine for past few months. And I realize (coming back to 2) since I am prone to associations, I have marked my vegetable vendors. Every time I visit the same thela (wooden cart) and buy my routine stuff. The thing is its same for grocery stores as well. I *avoid* (unless I am cash ridden) super markets. Not because the uncle at the kirana (why is it called kirana?) shop will give me any discount. In Chicago I used to make sure to go to the same check out lady at Jewel osco (ok sometimes this hot dude on whom I and roomie had a massive collective crush). And if Chicago's charming weather allowed we would go to china town where they had fresh farmer's market every week just for the hand picking vegetables and haggling part. 
May be its because faces seem familiar. Its like people know me. Its a in general feel good factor of my any random day. This boring monotony and the familiarity. (its a very nice song so please click :P) Fun of this fact is I am equally 'I am so bored of the routine, I want to run away to dream land *Calvin* types ' on some days. That's how balance happens and I survive. May be.


~nightflier


P.S. No system has been allocated to me at work. So this day at new work has been spent in reading tech crunch, running off to pregnant friend's dohale jevan function (baby shower) during lunch break, making sure to take snaps of friend with all the decorations adorning her (traditions and customs even though cute, at times can be quite embarrassing and awkward) and day dreaming about what subji to make in the evening. Hence the ramble.

at the crossing

In this oh-so-god-damnit-hot summer, I was drudging myself home from the bus stop. 


It's a three way junction near my house with the most hopeless traffic situation.


So I crossed halfway, waiting for the other half of road to clear up. 


A bus and a two wheeler almost brushed each other on my left and the bus driver slowed down. I watched the scene mesmerized, rooted to my spot.


I dreamily turned to my right (there was no need to be worried as I had crossed that part of the street) and was woken out of my reverie, when I saw a patient uncle quietly waiting on his scooter, obstructed to move ahead because of me.


I meekly smiled at him and said 'I am sorry' :D


He smiled back and let me pass without even the slightest hint of cursing me. :)


~nightflier

Social experiment no. N

Find a recent picture of yourself.


Settle for something which is decent enough to be cropped and makes you feel good about yourself. (even if its taken in a saree)


Go ahead. Put it up.


Wait for few hours for people to discover it on their news feed.


Get bombarded by the most amusing 'what's the deal', 'are you getting hitched' questions, asked in the most *subtle* manner.


Have fun ROFLing, playing along, and getting slightly annoyed! :D


~nightflier

getting to choose your reality/fiction

So I was reading Upasna's post about stories, making connections and it got me thinking. Really thinking. How in life we don't get to choose stuff, and have to randomly connect dots based on instincts or beliefs. Most of the times, after everything has happened. The end is always unpredictable, owing to all the uncertainties involved.


Writing stories on the other hand, is different. It gives you a chance to cheat, to know/change the ending and then connect the dots. Linger through the (forbidden?) forests as long as you want. Stop at those mountain peaks, those waterfalls, the random trees. There is no exact need to be in a hurry or to not enjoy a moment.


I have always wanted to look at life, in general, from a distant angle. From a suspended reality perspective. Like as in a limbo. How pointless would everything look from there. Of course, Aai would think otherwise and tell me to get myself checked or something. (sometimes we have these brief discussions when she chides, that all this education and these books have in a way made me more complicated :D Imagine telling this to a person who is constantly trying to simplify things!!!!)


I like Calvin (CLICK THE LINK!). First because he has Hobbes. And second because he always seems to have such a solid grip on life (not in an over bearing, control freak way but his in the moment ways). Specially with his wit, innocence and morbid excitement.


~nightflier


P.S. Cheating in life has altogether different connotations and involves lots of moral dilemmas. Don't even let me get started on that! ;-)
P.P.S. I know its bill watterson, who should really be thanked for Calvin. :-)

the drought

Have got *literally* nothing to say.


Must. Not. Read. Philosophy.
Must. Read. Watch. Fun. Stuff.
[putting blames is so much easier once you have decided!]


Anywho, I watched this amazingly fantastic grown up animation movie called Rango. Johnny Depp is one smooth actor. Such skill to get into character and make it (a lizard, eww, in this case) lovable. Absolutely. Worth. Must. Watch.


~nightflier

My world cup story

So when I hear my father's generation raving about *those special times* I have always wanted to feel how it must have felt. To be part of *that* 

I think today I got my story. The story of my (26 years) life.

Now on, everyone born after 2nd april, 2011 will get to hear this story in moments of happiness and misery, confidence and doubt, hope and giving up. No but I don't think I will wait for any such morally appropriate moments. I will anyway tell my world cup story. I will gloat and then bloat.
India won the Cricket World Cup today. WHEEEEEEEEE!


I think I will start the story with Sachin. No I think I will start with the young boys, who held their nerves. Chuck. I will start with Sachin only.
The most important thing is I will use these anecdotes for as long as I live now. phhhbttt!


I will end my excitement with what sidin said on Twitter - 'Staying positive is so tiring. Never doubted. Never doubted.'


Congratulations everyone!


~nightflier


P.S. due to non availability of internet connection delay in publishing my excitement. But guess it can never be too late in this case ;)