Rules of engagement

Today while making my way to my aunt's place through hordes of traffic a really strange thought struck me. 
I observed there are some people who look pretty focussed with proper attention to things happening around them while riding/driving as if things are really well mapped out inside their brain. I also observed another way to ride/drive is by the second guess system. You look for where people are going such that you can decide which way to take, how they are going so that you can maintain your speeds accordingly.


Isn't it synonymous to life ? You can either be the rider/driver out there who knows where he wants to go and gets there no matter what or be the second guesser who acts anticipating others' actions.


So which rider/driver are you ?


~nightflier


P.S. I hereby declare that I love public transport :D
P.P.S. A friend had given me similar life-football (soccer) analogy a while back..maybe that's why it struck me now :P

Hum aapke hain kaun and after that...

It doesn't take much to make me nostalgic. Sometimes even a song playing on the radio or aai's cooking is enough! (Sometimes I think I get it from my parents, as they keep on talking about their childhood a lot!)


So when I get down to write about Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, the 2 icons of my childhood, I am not sure how to articulate. But I am going to ramble nevertheless.
Hum Aapke Hain Kaun (HAHK) released when I was in 5th standard. From whatever few promos that Chitrahaar/super hit muqabla (DD National ?)/all the best (DD metro) used to air I had made secret pacts with myself that I have to make aai-baba take me for this one! I think as a 10 year old only Madhuri Dixit, the playful banter between her and Salman, the amazing music appealed to my sensibilities. As things turned out my Mavshi (mom's sister) got engaged to be married the same year. The wedding was planned for summer and most of such family entertainers (I had no clue of this term then) released in India in summers. So during the release time we were going to be super busy with the wedding preparations and shopping. The movie was a smash hit everywhere! It was almost impossible to be able to watch the movie before school started. Biggest worry on my mind was 'how would I bear my friends who had already watched the movie!' (yes brutally honest, thats being a 10 year old for you!)
Then a really cute thing happened. Once on a shopping trip my kaka (aunt's then fiance) suggested that we all go for this movie. Unfortunately we got only 2 tickets. And don't know how but me and Mavshi ended up in the theater! God's miracle ? :D
This is just the story of how god saved me from the disgrace of not watching the most amazing movie of my childhood. The re-runs kept on happening. Every time it felt like a special experience. It left me awed. Madhuri, Salman, Lakshmikant Berde, Renuka Shahane, and all the ensemble star cast still feels like family to me. All these memories came rushing while watching it for the gazillionth time on tv today! Thankfully I am not the only mad person around to love the movie so much. It is always fun to discuss all these memories and tiny tit-bits of trivia with fellow hahk lovers.


For posterity I am going to share some seemingly stupid stories related to the same movie.
The same year I read an article in a newspaper about Madhuri Dixit which also had her address at the end of it. I immediately drafted a letter for her birthday (sometime in May I guess?) and sent it to the said address. If it was the true address, if it was ever received and read by her remain a mystery. Devil may care. But there! I have shared it on the blog and am now open to judgments!
In school gathering the next year we performed a dance on 'Maye na maye'. Our school had this weird rule of allowing only decent hindi movie songs. Dunno how one can decide that. Anywhooo for all the girls involved the highest point of the extravaganza was getting to wear Madhuri Dixit style Ghagra! The endless practice sessions, getting the expressions like MD, dress rehearsals! 


All these very happy memories are attached to the movie in a way. May be that's why despite its much approved and acclaimed greatness, its still so dear to me. I shall leave KKHH for some other time. Got any such childhood connections ? Remember nostalgia is very much welcome on this blog :)


~nightflier

More from India!

Disclaimer : These are random observations. Indian friends living away/abroad (you know who you are) kindly do not feel homesick or jealous :D


* Since coming back I am using a Bsnl (bharat sanchar nigam limited - India's at&t ?) sim card. Well its aai's as I have been too lazy to get myself a brand new number. The thing is one has so much choice here, that I feel the need to do some research which is ongoing for the past month now. And since I am the great Indian consumer the only private service which impresses me is Vodafone. Their new ads are so senti and touching. Great advertising team they have!  The other open options are, as Vodafone I have heard have bad customer service, Idea as baba and bro use it and Airtel as I think they have good internet packages. Btw new in the market is Docomo (tata) and Uninor (some Norwegian giant), but I hardly feel like going for something brand new this time around.
Anyways, I ramble and digress. So BSNL sends these free messages which has numbers of CBI (central bureau of investigation) and ACB (anti corruption bureau) using which you can report crimes by public/government servants anonymously. Super liked it! Such a subtle way of carrying out system cleansing. I hope people participate. More power to everyone!


* We have such long wait-lists for vehicles in here. To buy a simple bike like Activa baba has now waited for more than 2 months. And the wait keeps on increasing owing to various festivals. Wonder how the demand-supply mapping takes place inside the companies ? I have heard its worse for 4 wheelers. Sometimes the wait can be more than 6 months. My god! I toh will drop the idea only :P


* These days I have a feeling that in some parallel universe life for the alternate me is going at the most superlative degree one can find for speed. Then what can be the reason that time doesn't seem to move forward here in this universe for me ? :-|
Dear alternate me in parallel universe please slow down! Or let's exchange positions if possible. That would be more convenient :P


* So much free time has made me a compulsive reader. I had no idea that my mailbox had so much of stacked treasure in the form of IEEE magazines and conference papers. Yeah! Yeah! call me names, but just reading novels and fiction can be pretty boring.


* And one of my closest and oldest (the relationship's age wise duh!) friend gets married next month. It was maha exciting to meet her parents (Oh we are from the same city!) and get all the details from aunty! My first and foremost task is to try to get as many friends as possible for the wedding. At which I am doing pretty fine I think. Next tasks aunty said will start after Diwali. Can't wait!
Normally weddings give me creeps. But this one isn't. Guess I have grown up :D


~nightflier

The facebook effect

* I realized the post has nothing much about the book. hence reposting with an adage. 


Pre script : The post is about the book by David Kirkpatrick.


I am a skeptic. It helps me getting my views/opinions about stuff straight. And I have always been a skeptic of social networking. It comes from personal experience. I am a decently social person. Not for the parties I indulge in or the page 3 (or 6 is it ?) person that I am, but because I like meeting new people and new experiences. So when I was in the US and still regularly in touch with most of my family and friends back home, I started facebooking. Rather I got introduced to it a new way there. I was on facebook, orkut, twitter, blogger, linkedin. LinkedIn was the only one I ever took seriously for obvious reasons. Then I read The Lost Symbol and the whole concept of twitter and collective thinking and action started making sense. Twitter soon replaced newspapers and tv for me. It is so non intrusive, simple and some concepts are so novel that I was hooked. Blogger became more and more personal as I started spending more time with myself. Facebook, orkut remained the places to add friends, stay connected in the most cold manner (just wishing each other on birthdays etc) and random exhibitionism. Yeah! I used to rave at people displaying their whole life on such public forums. It made me ask is this really the meaning of  'Social' ?


The book basically looks at how 'facebook' the internet giant of our times came into being. Not just those Harvard dorm stories about a break up and 19 year old's take on it. But the real deal. How Mark Zuckerberg  and a bunch of his friends stuck to their guns and revolutionized how people share stuff. How his idea of an open world is changing and affecting us despite the vibes of voyeurisms, rambunctiousness and exhibitionism. It is a fascinating tale. People who have watched the movie 'the Social Network' and raving about arrogance should read the book. 'Facebook' and its story is much bigger than the arrogant vibes the trailers and movie gives. Its about entrepreneurship and being true to your believes. It also opens up new debates on how open we really are and do we really want the world around us to be as open ?
I still believe sharing stuff with a close friend over a coffee is much precious than getting updates on facebook. But the book has given me perspective. With so much data about people, generated by people it will be really very interesting to analyze it and determine trends and look at how we as a human race are progressing or think.


The book on the whole is pretty straightforward. Since it was tracking story of a company it made sense also to have events chronologically. But that makes it insipid and dull. I was literally pushing myself through the parts with the money matters and negotiations. I owe it to the fact that financial transactions normally bore me to death. So if you do plan to read you can ignore this little comment. But truth be told this is no racy thriller or tear inducing drama, though its a thrilling story in quite a few respects. So you really need to be interested in such stuff to read the book. Else one can call it a pass.


~nightflier


P.S. Since reading the book my activity has generally increased on fb. :D

Home encounters!

1. Aai is finally bugged of the whole daughter-staying-away-from-home-for-past-eight-years-finally-back-home pampering. OK. More than pampering she gets annoyed if I present the same line in a dramatic tone when asked to do anything mundane. Its superrr fun :D
But I commend her spirits when everyday without fail she asks me so what subji (vegetable) would you like for lunch/dinner ? And I like a famished denizen from Amreeka reply, 'kuch bhi bana lo..sab amrit jaisa hai' (Make anything as all tastes like nectar(??!!)). Sorry Indian friends staying outside India, I don't have the slightest notion of making you jealous.


2. But today I indulged in a lot of homely activities. I and dad vacuumed the entire living room, cleaned all the showcases and fancy stuff, did some drilling work to fix age old carpentry tasks. Mother India was super impressed. She now really believes that people actually do all these things by themselves in the US as well. (1. should make clear why she believed otherwise). And since I was so super enthusiastic about cleaning today, I also changed the pictures in all the frames that we have at home. Boy what fun it was to rummage through all the old albums and laugh at how silly I used to look!


3. It rained so heavily in the afternoon that 5-6 hours ke liye power cut ho gaya! And then the intercom started buzzing with innocent queries like what happened, when will it get fixed, which elevators to operate on inverters, when will electricity come, etc (Baba (dad) is the society secretary). Then I really felt like I am in India. Totally. :D (The electrical engineer inside me really feels bad for the power cut btw!)


4. So over no electricity me, aai and baba indulged in a sorta debate over brother's wedding. (No its not decided, not even the girl per say)
Baba (the principled sort that he is) - I think we should have no give-take stuff in weddings. (In Indian weddings people normally get you gifts, clothes etc and then you also present them with clothes, gifts etc)
Aai (the mellow sort that she is) - But we co-exist within the society and certain norms cannot be gotten rid of. Not at least for close family members.
Me - Our home is so cozy and warm. I really like it (!!??##)
After much thought it was decided that I made sense and rest of the stuff must be left to my brother. 


5. My new dentist is really cool. She is from Pune and she knows COEP (my undergraduate college). I love her already! Btw she also taught me how to brush teeth properly. I dont think I will ever perfect it. After all I could not for 25 years. Sigh.. 
Waise isn't it quite embarrassing that such stuff needs to be taught to a 25 year old girl ??? Please say NO.


So Hindustan Times wrap their Home section. Until we meet again!


~nightflier

why do we fight ?

Guess we all need an outlet for the pent up bad stuff inside us. Thats why we do so. We is out of mere convenience here as it suits me. I fight, hurt, say stupid dramatic stuff as after the situation has subsided it makes me value the good stuff even more. I know life should not be so complicated. But 'mann se raavan jo nikale raam uske mann mein hai'


I have lost my innocence. A lot of it. Every time I get hurt or have to hurt someone by saying stupid things the realization sinks deeper. 
This picture makes me hopeful though. http://twitpic.com/1h9g6o


Oh and I am also reading winnie the pooh. Pooh bear says 'Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart!' How very true and profound.


~nightflier

Honey you will be fine!

*this is a really old draft which I found today..was written in the month of april!


P.S. This post is for 2 girls who are very dear to me. And they know who they are :)


Life is mostly weird and pointless. And oh yeah, its vicissitudes are vast and complex (to quote JKR). Things are thrown at us in such a random fashion that sometimes when they hit you without expectations, its really difficult to not get bogged down. I have learnt to call such instances happening to me as 'growing up'. It doesnt sound very wise (but who cares). But it gives me the option to choose, between what I have become and what I want to be, from what I was.


There are things a normal girl always wants. Her freedom, a place to call home, someone to love and care and her independence. When any of these things gets threatened, its really difficult to accept the change of scene or the consequences of what it might imply. And you two are doing it really well.


You are my role models. Not only because, you have managed to handle these situations, but you have never made any fuss about it. I admire your strength and courage, to keep it cool. I wish I could just give you a hug.


~nightflier

tera zikr

In love with this song from Guzaarish. Thanks Ketaki!


Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Oo ke tera, tera, tera zikr hai
Ya, itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon

Sholon ki tarah
Khushbuon mein dehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon


Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Machalta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Paagal ki tarah
Mastiyon mein
Tehelta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai (haan zikr hai)
Ya itr hai (itr hai)
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon

The southern sojourn

So when I was struggling to get my bearings straight on the Indian timeline, a dear friend who now lives in Chennai asked me to visit her. After the initial inertia from mom dad about the ayodhya verdict, its implications etc (which proved out to be nothing thanks to all of us maturing) they conceded :D


So off I went to Chennai for a refreshing visit to a dear friend. This was going to be my first visit to a city situated so down south in India. So my excitement kind of knew no bounds. But the hot humid airs of chennai made sure I kept myself in check. After a day's rest we embarked on an adventure reserved for every non-Rajni fan. A show of his latest flick Enthiran, in a huge theater amongst hooting, cheering crowds. What an experience! And what a movie! It is truly god level. With so many layers including the artificiality of Mrs. Bachchan, I loved it. Note to self : do not deprive yourself of such stuff in the future!


The next day was marked with visiting the real Chennai. So friend and me ventured in the killer humidity to T nagar, the market place of chennai. It seemed to me as if the entire Chennai had gathered there. We went to Pothys and did some sareee shopping. After that we visited the big daddy of Big Bazaar, the Saravana stores. Walmart guys should take a look at it before thinking of opening their branches in India. What eh spectacle this 7 story shopping store was! After such tiresome activities the time came to quench our hunger. And only typical south Indian food could do it. So we went to Murugan Idli. They serve the bestest, softest idlis I have ever eaten in my life. With 4 different equally tasty chutneys and sambhar. And seeing my liking my friend made sure that we visited them almost everyday to try all the stuff from their menu :D


Next day we visited Besant Nagar beach. A nice place to chill away from the city hustle bustle. I tried my hand at balloon shooting and got 5 on 8 targets :D

backwaters on way to Chunnambar beach

Then came the weekend and the much awaited trip to Pondicherry. Not at all overhyped. Its serene beaches and quieter townships (the french colonies) left me wanting for more. Next time I am planning a minimum 7 days trip to this place. We visited the Promenade beach and the lovely Chunnambar beach. 
Due to time constraints we could not visit Auroville. Btw we had a tough time finding a good place to eat in Pondi, as we reached pretty late. Then our driver suggested Anand Bhavan and we found it to be a really decent place to hog. Plus the fact that its situated right in the middle of the market place and french colonies made it our hang out spot for the day and half that we were there. And its on these same street side shops that I bought an H&M cotton top for Rs. 150, after much haggling though. Neha you were so right about H&M clothes! :D


On our way back to Chennai we visited Mahabalipuram. A world heritage site with amazing architecture. It was worth wrapping up a bit early in Pondi to catch Mahabalipuram. A must visit once again!


And oh on my last day in Chennai, we visited a 7 story gold jewellery's shop just for fun. No offence to anyone but MY GOD! south Indians and their love for gold! I am still amazed.


And so my impromptu southern sojourn came to an end. It was fun. I hated Chennai weather due to its humidity but loved the food and the chaos. And its always a pleasure to visit old friends and be a part of their life. So am thinking where to plan my next trip :D any suggestions ?


~nightflier


P.S. somehow I am not able to transfer pics taken from my mobile camera..would have been a better post with few local pictures.

On domestic violence

Recently while reading Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy which was based around crimes of domestic violence, physical and mental abuse I was quite inspired to write about the whole issue. Thinking that I would spoil the plot for potential readers I did not go ahead. But after reading Neha's article I am more than inspired to write. I would definitely be referencing to the book, but would try to be indirect and subtle.


Violence as a means of self defense is the only way I can justify it. In any other form its outright evil and cruel. And the trend of violence exists in every society. It has got nothing to do with 'oh we are old fashioned in India and hence its an Indian thing'. Good and bad examples exist in every society. Its the psychology behind such acts that needs to be studied and tackled.


The person committing the abhorring acts of hitting, torturing, sexually abusing another person is misguided by the sense of control which they need to display. I think these acts of controlling others, displaying dominance are attitude problems. Its a disease. And as every disease, it needs diagnosis and medicine. The only diagnosis I can think of is the victims stop being victimized. If the victims start retaliating or start giving subtle hints in extreme cases, then help can be sought. The day a person who is being victimized for such acts asks the question 'WHY ?' the day half the problem is solved. Because with that why comes a revelation that its unjust to tolerate such appalling things. According to me it applies to physical acts of violation to mental harassments like abusive relationships. I really dont understand when people start blaming situations and dont want to get out of bad relationships. My logical brain says if one of the 2 persons in the relationship is not getting respect then its time to get it done with. Though I would admit that things aren't so simple in reality. I myself know a few friends who are in bad relationships. One could get out of it with substantial emotional hurt but the other could not. 


This is where Lisbeth Salander comes into picture. Despite having the physique of a teenager, she gets around bad, abusive relationships using her intelligence and skills. In her book there is no mercy for hideous crimes. If you are exploiting someone's vulnerability she makes sure you get punished. No she wont break the law or she wont kill you or she wont even do some superheroish stunt. She would simply put you in a trying situation where you would remember all the gods you prayed to (dadi-nani yaad dilana types). When everyone else in the system fails to act, she takes care of stuff in her own style. I know all this makes me sound like a childish hero worshiper, but the point I am trying to make is most of the times we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes even a loud whimper can mend ways for the abuser and the abused. The courage needs to be summed up.


A huge salute to the Lisbeth Salander's amongst us. And a pat on the back to the ones who are suffering and don't find the courage to retaliate. I am damn sure one day you guys would find it!


~nightflier

Word-y dreams

I dreamt a dream.


In which you were you and I was me.
You were the cloud, I was the rain,
You were the plant, I was the grain.
You were the leaf, I was the dew,
You were the coffee, I was the brew.
You were the 'x', I was the 'y',
We were the varying constants in each others' sky.



I dreamt a dream,
In which you were me, I were you
Together we were, one in two.


~nightflier


P.S. I really dreamed these lines in my dream! Ma Kasam!

Bapu ka birthday

People like to have opinions these days. The different it is the better they feel about standing out of the crowd. And by just reading the biased, designed somewhat for a child's psychology history books over the years they like to boast about their meager knowledge about the Mahatma. 


I could not care less but the appalling stuff hurled at him and his countless counterparts, by my generation makes me wonder whether we truly respect our freedom or independence. How deeply do we even consider what his philosophy means and conveys ? And that's why I feel bad and sometimes provoked by such people. I do NOT think having different opinions just because you could not care less to know enough is cool. History as we know will always remain biased/distorted (after all its the past and different people will have different perspectives). It is the lack of respect for people for what they were, their principles is what bothers me the most.


~nightflier