Stream. Watch. Repeat.

This.

To take care of seemingly crappy days. To be watched over and over again.

To be humbled. So powerful.

~Fangirl

Conflicting worlds

Prachi and Pooja are from middle class families. Well educated families. Pooja's father did not want a daughter hence her mother took a stand and raised her by herself. Prachi, daughter of a principled man with anger issues, thinks its her father's right to physically punish her for the sole reason that he let her live as she is a product brought into this world by her parents.
Pooja is a beauty contest winner. Prachi is part of a hindutva movement, where they teach girls how to defend oneself and take up weapons.
Both are in their 20s. Both want their life to be meaningful, both want to do something.

There is huge irony here. Their worlds are paradoxes. These are the subjects of the brilliant and thought provoking documentary by Nisha Pahuja, 'The world before her', which explores what it means to be a 21st century Indian woman.

Some of the things that these girls said have left me dumbfounded and searching for answers. I try to see myself in these women. I am there, when a girl says she wants to make something out of this life. I am in the dreams, hopes, fears and passions of these girls. These are rational girls who know what they are choosing.
We are similar yet so different. So many belief systems, so many ideologies. The dichotomy in our existence and how it converges and yet gives life an altogether different meaning, is what's troubling me the most. 
For the outside world, Prachi will remain a could be fanatic in a movement branded as extremist, Pooja another superficial, pretty face making use of her beauty. But in the 21st century do these perceptions matter ? Or is it more about individuality ? 

In a deeply patriarchal society like India, where girls have opened up to education, avenues of income to become financially independent, how necessary is it to uphold our ancient roots? Some very valid and profound questions surface out of this conflict. And that is the reason I highly recommend you to watch this remarkable documentary.

Because she wants to be a part of the world before her, shape it and make it. 

Unlearning

With growing old sometimes comes the feeling that you understand life in much better sense. Of course if you are a person who likes to have filters in place and constantly seeks clarity. You are thankful for a lot of things that have happened and helped you grow. And at times you are just forgetful enough to forget how it is to be a teenager. 

Specially a teenager surrounded by constant competition, expectations and general 'dont have a clue about future or life but parents and friends are into this, so I am also into this' thought process. Recently a 17yo nephew was visiting us for some exam preparation classes which the city I live in is believed to have some of the best. Initially I was totally peeved by his sharp and critical demeanor. That initial phase lasted the 3 weeks he stayed with us. Yes, sometimes I am an excruciatingly slow adopter. Almost everyday we got into some kind of argument (behes in his sweet MP hindi) about a physics problem (sometimes random life funda) and my lack of remembering anything except for the concepts. I who's raised by teachers who believed in the power of clear concepts was somewhere happy believing it was a good sign that I did not remember the actual formulae but knew my stuff. I was proud even. But this did not impress the kid. He kept on questioning my entire life and so called engineering education. I was more annoyed and more intrigued. Intrigued cos how was all the grown up stuff I mentioned at the beginning not helping me see that this is what it feels to be a teenager. Over the 3 weeks, eventually he stopped asking me much physics questions and we spent time discussing how life in US is where he aspires to go for studies. 

I began to realize though, there is so much I need to unlearn to be able to continue to learn. Whichever species evolves, evolves because it is able to unlearn. Shed old knowledge and constantly gain new. I am seriously questioning people who say knowledge is power and stuff like that. I wonder if they are talking about knowledge acquired through unlearning.