Delhi Half Marathon

I signed up for the Airtel Delhi half marathon 2 months ago (popularly known as #ADHM in running circles). I had been to Delhi earlier once and had liked the capital a lot! The race route went from Nehru Stadium, to Lodi Gardens to Rajpath (India Gate) to Parliament to Jantar Mantar and looped back to Nehru Stadium. So all the more reason for me to be able to run there and enjoy the royalty and history of Delhi.

In the running circles, the Delhi route is known as a flat route and hence best to get a personal best timing. Of course my wishful brain had already broken all personal records in its head and achieved running glory. Before you read further into this long post, let me shatter your dreams and make it clear nothing like this happened. In fact this was one of my worst post race experiences ever in terms of exhaustion and soreness. The saving grace was how valiantly I ran the first 18 km, without taking a break. And what happened after that as an anticlimax to an otherwise heroic story, if I may say so myself.

I reached Delhi well before the race ie early Friday morning. I spent the day with my childhood friend and her husband exploring Connaught place, Agrasen ki Baoli, Janpath, etc etc. Let me make it clear we did not walk much. Both of us (I and the friend) were going to run the half marathon and very well understood the implications of too much strain on the legs just 2 days before a race. We used the Metro extensively. Even sat on the floor for lack of space which was very Mumbai like of us according to Upasna :) We ended Friday with a light dinner and Mockingjay Part 2. The Katniss Everdeen within us had very much awakened and we felt ready for the battle.

On Saturday we collected our race kits and bibs. My only gripe was the collection point was far off from where I was staying ie Gurgaon. Because we wanted to conserve energy and time we did this trip by Uber and ended up spending a fortune of 1500 Rs. But nothing is greater than resting your legs and body before race day. We ended Saturday at 9 PM.

I woke up on race day at 4 AM without any alarm. Got ready with a light breakfast of banana, 2 parle G biscuits and some black tea and a glass of water. Reached the race holding area at 6.30 am i.e. 40 minutes before the race start. Of course had to take a loo break. Kudos to the organizers to have plenty of portable toilets at the venue (and also along the route). I did not have to wait in lines for a long time and go through anxiety of never reaching the start point in time.

The race started at sharp 7.10 AM. I and my friend were in holding area C, so it took us 2-3 minutes to reach timing mats on start point. I had already started my running app, as I did not want to miss starting it later. I started running only after the start point making way through the crowd of runners. I started steadily and slowly in the 7-7.20 mins/km pace zone. After 1 km point I settled in the 6.20-6.30 mins/km pace zone. Time for some back story here.

I had returned to India after a work trip a week before the race. As soon as I reached home, I caught a terrible cold. I let it run its course because I wanted my lungs to be freer of cough and related ailments on race day. I was also jetlagged and my sleep cycle was totally ruined. Because of all this drama I had missed one of my slightly longer weekly run. I had run only once in the week before the race. And before that due to travel etc I had missed 2 of my long runs.
So when I started #ADHM my mind and body knew that finishing the race strong would be a task in itself, given the hassle my body had gone through. But once I started running in the capital, in the morning smog and haze, my body settled in a rhythm and ran consistently. Around 6 km mark when India gate came into sight I could feel slight excitement. It was a very surreal moment for me to be running near India gate and on Rajpath. That added to my consistency and I continued running at the steady pace. At the 8km mark, I could see faster runners going back to the stadium (it was their 13km mark) and I felt immense joy that only 13 more km were remaining in my race. The half way point was near Jantar Mantar and once I looped around it, I promised my body that it will get a gel pack and some almonds once it reaches 15 km. At around 14km, I ate an almond and continued running without a break. My brain was functioning very well, as in it was not tired and asking my body to give up and start walking. My lungs were 'running' better than ever despite the cold/cough. So when the 16km mark came my brain told my body, one more kilometer and you will get half an energy gel! My body obliged. Somewhere during the 18th kilometer I tried to tear the gel pack while running. I could not, so I walked a few paces to concentrate on the tearing. To my shock the moment I paused to walk, I realized my legs had gone numb. My toes had that tingling sensation you get when blood flow has stopped to some part of your body. My immediate thought was I was going to faint in the middle of the road. I did not. So I continued walking for few meters and concentrated on eating the gel. I ate half the gel and started running again. My mind had of course started playing games. It was telling me to walk more. After 18km I started walking again. I felt I would walk to the finish line.

Seven!

And then a miracle man came by my side. He told me only 2 kms were remaining and I could do it. In a marathon event, you meet many such people who say words like 'come on' and move on. But he persisted. He did not let me walk. And so reluctantly I started running. I regained my initial pace despite my body screaming to let it go. I was literally chanting 'push, come one, push' to myself. Howmuchever weird it may sound. I crossed the finish line running and on a stronger note. Post run I sat down at the first spot I found empty on a staircase and ate the remaining gel and water. I was staring at the passersby like a zombie, trying to make sense of the trauma I made my body go through. And of course trying to find out my angel in disguise who made me not give up, whom I could never find again.

My lesson learnt is, however regular I am in training, I need to focus on what I eat specially when I travel. And since travel takes a toll on routine and general health, I need to plan better. Or may be I need to stop travelling and focus only on running :P

I am glad though I did this race. It was one of the better organized races I have been to. This was my seventh half marathon and it will always remain special for me!

What I am grateful for

I hate to make this a bullet list. But I love lists. So I'll make one anyway. Bullets or no bullets.

Wonderful work colleagues. I was working with a person double my age for the past 3 weeks. I am not including the age factor for a comparison but as a perspective. When I told him on Diwali evening (he was already sad for me that I had to be away from family, working instead) that I had to go for 2 dinners and would leave office early, and be not available for 3-4 hours (we were working on something very crucial), he seemed ok. He not only let me be but did not bother me with any emails or texts. Now I know this is supposed to a norm in professional work culture etc etc. But on that Diwali away from home, I just felt his gesture to be super nice and felt immensely grateful for wonderful people around.
On other note, despite having worked in the same domain for such a long time, I did not find him to be complacent. He was meticulous in everything he did, prepared for a customer presentation like a first timer for hours together, making sure the story fell in place, involving me in all discussions and decisions. I guess learning never ceases.
He is also an accomplished photographer with 47 years of photography work behind him. He takes photography classes in spare time and has even had his work exhibited, and without even doing a humble brag. 

Friends who remember little things about you or your life and dont forget to remind you :) I love you A and R and what would I do without you!

Movie gems like 'me and earl and the dying girl' on long haul, never ending flights. Some of the best writing and direction seen for a coming of age drama. Also, how I miss reading what Ebert uncle would have written about this movie.

Second chances life gives with some people. Sometimes, people are not the email conversations you have with them. When you meet the 'real' people you realize there is no dearth of niceness around. I find this especially reassuring given the troubled times we are in, when its easier to judge someone than getting to know the real person.

The end of the tour

When I told a friend few years ago, that I was in love with David Foster Wallace, he chuckled and was amused by my choice of literary heroes, given Wallace's personal struggle. I had to convince him then, that I didn't do this choosing consciously, its something that happens. Organic is the correct word to the process, if there ever was one. It holds true for most things in my life. At least that's what I would like to believe. Like running happened to me naturally, without any external or internal imbalance. In a, 'it was meant to be' kind of way. Most of my friendships have been that way. The ones which were not, did not last long. (I used to be sad about it, because these were perfectly nice people to have friendship with. But I had to make peace with myself).

Anyway, I digressed! The moral of the story is, I am attracted to flawed and imperfect and broken people like Dave Wallace, naturally. And if you do too, then you should watch this new movie called 'the end of the tour'. The movie is nothing but conversations between DFW and the rolling stone journalist. But deep inside it reveals so much about what it means to be a certain kind of human being, through the words, eyes, experiences of one of the most brilliant writers.
As an afterthought, I would like to believe that the last scene kind of depicted Wallace to be free of his self-consciousness and finally out of his own head.

And if you are not familiar with DFW then do listen to this.

Hyderabad half marahton 2015

Apart from my perfect world reasoning, I have figured out another reason to register for and run races. Change of scenery. Simple. Every day running in the same neighborhood, hunting for a new route to trod under your weathered running shoes starts to become a challenge. Within a couple of years once you start running. So the only way to kill boredom and monotony of above routine is to register and run for races.

And if you like to travel, its an added bonus. With or without trains.

For this year's version of the #AHM, I registered for the half marathon. AGAIN. As if going through last year's ordeal was not enough. But snarky comments on my decision making aside, I wanted to run in Hyderabad by correcting a few wrongs on my end and see if it affected how I felt post run.
I'll list down the things I felt I did wrong last year, considering my overall fitness at that point:
1. Traveled around the city on Saturday in blazing heat, in a bus, in auto, on foot.
2. Ate food without due consideration for the race next day.
3. Wore clothes in which I had not practiced before.
4. Slept at 12 in the night and got up at 3.30 am on race day. ie insufficient sleep

This time I took the Shatabdi from Pune to Hyderabad, along with a bunch of other runners. I loved the Shatabdi experience! The food was good and the train super clean and super fast. As the train criss crossed through Maharashtra, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, the eight hour long day journey felt seemingly small. We reached in the afternoon, on the day before the race day. Did the ritual of visiting the race expo, bib collection, hanging around sports booths.

Upon checking in at the hotel, it was already evening. So even if I had any plans of sight seeing or shopping, I could not. So the evening culminated in a light South Indian dinner at Minerva Café. I was back at the hotel and in bed at 8.30 PM. After unpacking for race day and keeping my race gear* etc ready. Yes! At 9 PM I was asleep. Of course, one can blame the residual jet lag in my system for such early bed time. Nonetheless, I was asleep soon and woke up at 3.30 AM. 6-6.5 hours of sleep before a race has been a never before event in my running life. That itself was exciting enough. I was ready by 4.30 AM and done with one round of light breakfast of banana, some black tea, 2 marie biscuits and 2 glasses of water.

We left hotel at 5.20 AM. Because I had so much water I had to clear it out as well, and I spent 10 anxious minutes in the toilet line, just before the event. By the time we made it to the runners assembly area, it was crowded beyond imagination. We tried to sneak in with 'Excuse Me's and shoves and pushes, but could only make some progress. As the balloons went off and the race was flagged off, it took us 3-4 minutes to get to the start point. So the initial jitters of starting the race properly, were practically non existent. We were too worried about getting pushed to the start line.

Once the race started, it dawned on me that I had not made any plans. I had just shown up with enough regular runs in my pocket. One more thing I should clarify here. I ran in the US for a month prior to the race. Due to some magic (running gods must be happy with me!), my running speeds had improved tremendously there.

When I returned, I was worried how this would impact my race day. Weather and temperature are a huge factor in determining how you feel during a run. Keeping that in mind from last year's fiasco at Hyderabad, I felt I was prepared for any kind of drastic weather change. This was another reason, I had no particular plan for #AHM.

Around 4-5 km when everyone had found their comfort zone and the roads had cleared a bit, I spotted a 2.30 hour half marathon bus. The pacer looked familiar (he was from Pune) so I felt like joining him. One good outcome of this decision was, I ended up running in my comfort zone of 6.30-6.45 mins/km for the most distance. I did not push myself too hard to run faster and hence prevented a burn out. I also felt amazingly in control most of the time during the run. To quote every runner 'I was enjoying the run'. One flyover turned into another, one uphill turned into another but I did not feel like stopping or giving up. Despite blisters starting to form on my soles of both feet. I had never experienced this before. After 5-6 km, there was this weird burning sensation of the soles and it never quite went away.

I just ran. Never minding the pain or discomfort. This is how pain feels like, I told myself.

Around 17km, when the last uphill leg of the half marathon route started, I felt a bit tired. I told the pacer I wanted to walk. We still had 30 good minutes buffer to cover the 4 km and finish race before the 2 hour 30 mark. He kept on pushing me and making me feel comfortable by giving me illusive goals of 'just few more steps', 'just that banner', 'just that bend'. I did listen to him! When we entered the last 500 meters, I somehow got ahead of the bus and finished the race in 2 hours 22 mins.
I waited and waited for the pacer and his bus to show up but could not find him to convey my thanks, in the sea of people ->

there is no such thing as too many people!

[When I told this story to a few friends later, they laughed at me saying I must have imagined this 'pacer'! Of course, I did not.]

I was extremely satisfied and satiated post run. I got out of the daze to sit on the nearby lawn and removed my shoes. The touch of the grass to my blistered feet, is how heaven must feel like, I wanted to tell someone. I was smiling like a fool with that realization.
Contrary to all my previous race experiences, I ran this one without any specific goals and outcomes in mind. I was the most happy by the end of it. I think there is some hidden life lesson here. But I am going to let it go and try to learn during next race. May be ?

* I had practiced in my race day clothes on long runs during training. Since I sweat profusely while running, I was aware of what to expect in these clothes during the humid, hot run in hyderabad.

Default settings

These days I find myself making a lot of decisions of choosing between reacting or responding to a situation. I was surprised to find out, after so many years of trying to teach myself, that my default setting still is 'choosing to react'. Since it is easier to react, makes life harder. And I used to wonder I am moving towards this more self aware state of being, where I know what I am doing. Apparently, I do not. Still.

A close friend, pointed out a few things I do wrong, the other day. Believe me, if it wasn't KT, I would have conveniently reacted, thrown a fit how people are stupid and walked off. Since it was KT, I paused. I have been feeling bogged down by a lot of things in life lately, so what she said made even more sense. Maybe it was the trigger I needed. I started noticing patterns in my own behavior, how I was choosing the easier path of reacting to situations over and over again. Simply because it gave me more time to focus on other things. Little did I realize that it was becoming a part of my system.

Lately 'I don't have time' has been my standard reaction to a lot of people. After the quiet conversation over whatsapp with KT, I decided to refocus. I spent the day working from home. I made myself 4-5 cups of tea over the day, I took a nap, started reading a book, called up few friends and talked for hours and tried to not be shaped by my defaults.

Have I changed to 'not default' setting ? No. I would still prefer to judge some people without trying to understand where they are coming from. But I would know why I am doing that. And maybe someday go back to it and change my default stance. And as for making responsiveness my default, I guess it will always be work in progress. There but never quite there.

Notifications free

I joined the smart phone bandwagon pretty late. So-oh late that by the time I was on whatsapp everyone in my life, was already tired/bored of it and was seeking out ways to replace it with something else. But I guess that's the ruse they used on me to finally get me on board. Like everyone else. Hooked to my phone and the pings and the notifications. As with every new toy a kid gets I was obsessed with my smart phone. Learning the tricks. Playing candy crush incessantly. Driving everyone around crazy by begging for a life. Virtual life. As with all millennial trends I quickly reached a milestone where I could not live without looking at my phone every few seconds. Well, I exaggerate. Every other minute is more like it.

Around 2014 year end, my phone stopped working for some reason I dont remember. When it finally started, I had to reset all the apps. Which gave me a chance to reconfigure notifications settings for all apps. I have always been a proponent of silent notifications, so I never had to worry about what kind of sounds my phone would create to grab my attention. Still the visual notifications were there. My OCD struck brain could not handle notifications count each app showed, for missed notifications. Also the unseen notifications panel on iPhone lock screen annoyed me to no extent. Getting rid of them one by one per app was testing my patience. So I got rid of them one app at a time. Starting Jan 2015 my phone went notifications free. 
Whatsapp
Facebook/Messenger
Gmail
Twitter
Instagram
Foursquare/Swarm
Skype
Goodreads
Viber
Dictionary
Quizup
Elevate
Foodpanda
Pinterest
All misc apps like drive, uber, ola, yelp etc etc.

These apps were the first on the list.
Then I muted all groups on whatsapp. I also left a few groups eventually (story later).
The only apps where I did want to receive notifications were runkeeper and words with friends (given the frequency and liking for these app activities). So they got full reign over my notifications tab.
A big fear while doing this was I'll miss out on stuff. So the in app notifications remained. For example close friends updated on facebook etc.

So what's the outcome of all this cleansing ?

The frequency of me checking my phone has not reduced much. But I feel a huge relief because I dont feel like constantly checking my phone. I do check it every other hour (see the difference!) but its more for twitter and ig feed refresh and sometimes to clear whatsapp group messages, most of which are forwards which I do not even bother to read (on most occasions! )

6 months later I realize, I have not missed out on anything super important contrary to my fear. I am very much in loop on things happening in my social network. I do have this sense of not being controlled by the urge to check something on phone or keep it charged all the time. I am falling into a pattern to check emails. Like on my phone I check emails only in the morning after I get up and once I am home from work (which is sometimes a lot more than I would like). For the rest of the time, I am always logged into my computer, so does not matter. I have realized most whatsapp/fb/twitter/instagram notifications dont require my attention. But I still respond to them in a timely fashion, which serves another OCD of not having any response/reply debt.

Of course I am not sin free. Texts/iMessages, Calendar and work mail/slack are few notifications enabled apps, I have not yet gotten rid of. I am almost scared to death to miss out on anything (important) related to work. So I am not getting rid of visual notifications for them anytime soon. Also I do check work emails at ungodly hours and reply to them as well. So that is going to need a lot of discipline. I am not sure if I would like to get rid of Calendar alerts. They help. All the time!

In the end I am happy to announce that it does not kill you. Only makes you stranger.

We the people - Part deux

Growing up in Nagpur, after father's (baba) office on Fridays going to watch Amitabh Bachchan movies at a nearby theater was our definition of family outings. Baba is an AB fan. I also get my movies love from him. Watching movies was never considered as an immoral thing in my household. Of course my book lover aai's lineage would not agree with this (She still struggles to sit still in a 3 hour long movie, so making her watch a movie at home is a task!). But watching movies was the only alone time my parents would get in a joint family. I think that's very romantic. And I think that's why aai also learnt to survive films :)

So baba would buy us all sorts of snacks, hot samosas, popcorns, ice creams after movies during these outings. These escapades meant no restrictions. Now that I think of some of the terrible movies we have watched this way, I can't help but laugh it off. (Maybe that's the reason I am also very selective with what movies I watch nowadays).

Over time these outings became fewer. Someone was in 10th, someone had some other exam, or not enough AB movies were releasing. Baba had already educated us enough on hindi/english films to raise our expectations and become choosy. Also it started becoming more and more difficult to convince baba to watch a non AB movie. Aai would not mind this change anyway. Going out for movies with friends became the cool thing to do. Brother and I eventually moved out of home for studies/work.

The last time we four went out for a movie was the 3+ hour long Lagaan. Having cricket as the central theme helped us convince baba to accompany us, A pro-independence drama was reason enough for aai to agree. Easy peasy. We loved the film and were hooting and cheering by the end of it. (my dislike for Amir Khan notwithstanding). 

It took us 14 years and a wedding and thus an induction of a new family member, to watch another movie in a theater.  Last week all 5 of us agreed to go for Piku. It was a Sunday. From booking the tickets beforehand to getting parents to the screen before time felt like such an achievement. The film was thoughtful, fun, and a laughter riot. I almost felt a tinge of satisfaction seeing the parents love the movie. In a span of 25 years the idea is still the same. Of spending time together. Of being home.

And did I mention Amitabh Bacchan ? :)

Small world

I am wary of cliches. I love some of them, but some of them I really really dont like. And for some I have not made up my mind yet. 'The world is small' is one of those such things, which happens to other people. I always marvel at stories told by people around me about how they found someone after so many years and how it felt wonderful. Personally I feel cramped by the idea of a small world, where everyone knows everyone through someone. I like the idea of a connected world, but I like my space as well. I mean I am fine without the need of knowing everyone. Am I making any sense ?

So during my recent travels I went to a friend's wedding in Austin. During a friends and family get together I overheard an uncle sitting across from me talking about my hometown. Of course I got interested and when chance came upon, told him that I was also from the same city. One thing led to another and soon we figured out that the said uncle and I went to the same school. Separated by a span of 25 years. Isnt that cool! Then we started talking about school experiences and teachers. To everyone's amazement we shared the same teachers! 2-3 to be specific, but the teachers who had just joined school were on the brink of retirement when I graduated high school. This story started making the rounds in the entire gathering and soon we were excitedly telling everyone how cool this was! 
I somehow felt more at ease and comfort for the next 2 days of the wedding. I also met them again in California where they actually lived and I was visiting for work. They were super nice and treated me with great home food and another gathering of people of my hometown. I liked experiencing this cliche of a small world. Travel does open you up to things you thought you were not prepared for. The joy of meeting someone 25 years your senior and still talk about some of your favorite growing up moments is one such thing!

Life post three oh

• I no longer forget the year has changed. I have been putting the correct date on paper wherever required since Jan 1st. Although I am sure this is not a 30 effect. Its more of a becoming a person who is present here and now.

• The level of annoyance I used to experience when younger people around me used to play typically crass songs 3 years ago < the level of annoyance in general for any kind of music these days. I attribute it to being surrounded by younger people (in age of course). Also I am consciously choosing not to be a snob but enjoy everyone's choice or absence of any when it comes to music.

• I watched birdman and was thoroughly moved. Talking about the movie in any manner is a moot point but I could relate with the older actor's struggle to be not mediocre. I think we all go through it at some point or the other. These days I feel particularly grateful for being surrounded by people who are not mediocre, in their work, love, life, food, relationships, ideas of fun. I think you eventually do learn what matters to you and hence you try not to suck at it.

• There is so much amount of information available today, good, bad, negative, speculative, truly useful, bullshit, humor in news, funny videos, movies, songs, books to anything and everything. I no longer find the need to know/understand everything. I think I am happy with my evolution to this state. I can consciously make the choice about what content to consume and be happy with my limited consumption. For eg. I don't need to watch every funny video out there, or know every trending news/hashtag out there.

• I no longer dread keeping/maintaining an expense sheet. Earlier when I was a few years younger, the arrogance of keeping it all sorted out in my head and not on any kind of paper/online resource, made much sense. Now I feel its just one less overhead. My expense sheet might not be the most pretty to look at but it has information which makes sense to me. And for now I am happy I at least evolved to this level of maturity when it comes to keeping a tab on expenses.

• After systematic planning of finances over the past 3 years I have reduced my debt index by a large amount. My credit card balances are in check. So much that I willingly closed one credit card service. I only have 2 major debts remaining now. The student loan will last a bit longer, but I do have a plan for it now. I am slightly proud and a whole lot glad that I have reached this position from the mess I was in where I have lesser financial worries. (Talking about one's financial life is not so easy and I plan to do a detailed story once I am debt free.)

• I have also accepted my sense of clothing and fashion, which is easy going. So despite my body type being thin and athletic, I go for clothes which are loose, have flow, and are comfortable. I was never into body hugging clothes. So despite my physique being perfectly suitable for those, I have accepted to disappoint everyone who thinks my clothes choices are too boring. I'll go with boring as long as it lets me breath and helps me being myself.

Wandering heart

That sometimes has been my problem.
Specially when I am in some other country. Other place.
I am there and I cannot completely be there.
13 days into this trip, I am already missing my food, my people, my friends.
Its like parts of me are missing.
And they show up at random street corners here, during my daily run in the cemetery, while nibbling on takeout chinese food.
I like my independence of checking in and out of hotels at any time and ability to drive around on whims. I do like this country.
But inside me remains a deep craving for the known and familiar. 
Every unknown adventure here feels empty and forced.
The land of opportunities feels like a land wasted on me.
My 'abandonment anxiety'* type personality wakes up at ungodly hours to check my phone, to look outside if its sunrise yet.
When I am here, my heart wanders to a place I have come to call home. 
Though I argue with the security guards there all the time.
Back in Aundh. 

* A term I learnt recently from a beloved writer. And which I think suits me too well.

Rant

Today I got my self worth evaluated by a girl who thought I was too average looking or not smart enough to be styled by a celebrity.
I am known as a nice person among friends and colleagues (family will doubt that, because they get to experience my occasional outbursts). In addition, I have a master's degree in electrical engineering. I have aced all my exams. At work also I work hard and give 200% to everything I do. Apart from this I am also an accomplished runner. 
I am an educated, strong, empowered person.
So why did it sting when the girl passed this remark and was even dismissive and thankful that the celebrity would not have to style me?
I am worried because I let this get to me.
I am worried because this is how a lot of people, girls/boys included grow up. Their self worth targeted by someone who is probably insecure about stuff in their life. 
The girl in question probably wanted someone who looks good on camera and the celebrity could relate to. Well in that case, I ask the PR team to do some research on my facebook profile and pictures. Only mirror cracking stuff there!

I cannot pretend and be fake. At the same time I do not judge people who are fake. Probably that is how they get by in life. Which is fair.

But at the same time I do not think someone with poor PR skills and only the ability to impress celebrities, has any right to comment on my 'being too average looking' even in subtle terms.

P.S. A brand new Forever 21 store is opening in Pune. They ran some treasure hunts as part of brand campaigns in which I and a friend won a gift voucher worth 5000 Rs and a styling session with a celebrity. We also clicked pictures after the contest. Since I could solve the clue in the treasure hunt, my friend and I agreed to submit my name and phone number for the styling session. When I showed up at the event today, I realized it was going to run longer. Due to other commitments I asked the 'said lady' at the store that I would like to pass on the voucher and styling session to my friend. To which she happily replied 'Yes of course. I anyway had passed on your friend's picture to 'the celebrity' for styling'. End of story.

P.P.S. judge me all you want for taking part in a treasure hunt run by a fashion brand to girls targeted in the 'forever 21' category.

Kashmir

Travelling to Kashmir has been one of my childhood dreams. It came true in an unexpected fashion last week.
After the quite epic and never ending #anshitanukulkishaadi in Jammu, we headed to Kashmir. The wedding and kashmir culture merits a super long post of its own. And I think the beauty of kashmir and its description is best left for personal experience. So I'll write about touristy stuff and general do's, dont's, scams to be avoided and things to be covered. This is going to be a long list.

1. Always check weather before entering the valley. We were well equipped with winter jackets, caps, gloves, boots, pairs of socks to tackle the untimely and delayed snowfall. 

2. If possible stay in Srinagar and travel to and forth. Gulmarg is an hour's drive away and Pahalgam is 2-2.5 hours drive away. Sonmarg is 3 hours away. So one day trips are possible to all major touristy spots. Of course, if the weather permits and you want to do elaborate hikes at pahalgam and enjoy skiing at gulmarg then makes more sense to stay overnight.

driving around dal

3. If staying in Srinagar, try to stay around the scenic drive around Dal lake. We set camp 5 minutes drive away from Dal. So everyday when we headed out, we would get to witness life around Dal. Also gives you a chance to take a good run, if you are a runner i.e.

4. I found food particularly cheap in Srinagar. Krishna dhaba offers good vegetarian options. Ahdoo's and Mughal Darbar are must try for non vegetarians. And please don't eat chicken in Kashmir. Mutton is the real deal!
Food is comparatively expensive at gulmarg, where the altitude and tourist destination tag, justify the rip off. For eg. a plate of maggi costs 70 rs at gulmarg.

maggi and chai!

5. At gulmarg, you get winter jackets and snow boots on rent. Its a good idea to take these if you plan to play in the snow. This way your winter clothes remain dry and safe. Rental price is 250-300 Rs. per person depending on how much you can bargain. Buy the extra pair of snow proof hand gloves if you are not carrying them. These will come in handy at other destinations as well. Don't buy sunglasses, carry your own.

6. Once at Gulmarg base, you may have to travel by a different vehicle, owing to snow covered roads and safety issues. We took a sumo for 1500 Rs. for to and fro ride and the vehicle stayed at the base of phase 1 for the entire day.

7. We found the sledge rides at the base of phase 1 to be a scam. We took 2 sledges and later figured out that the distance to the gondola station could have been walked easily. Unless you have senior citizens with you, I suggest NO-NO to sledges. If at all you take one, then bargain as if your life depends on it.

8. Same applies for a tourist guide. Don't take one if possible. And if at all you take one, bargain! 

9. If you are not taking a tourist guide then buy your own gondola tickets to phase 1. These cost 600 Rs. per person. If there is heavy snow around, then a visit to only Phase 1 is worth the money. If you are into advanced skiing then makes sense to visit Phase 2 as well (ticket is additional 800 Rs.). We visited only Phase 1 and were quite happy. 

10. If you are walking your way around Gulmarg, then don't miss the walk through the golf course.

the romantic in me could not get enough of all this!

11. Route to Pahalgam merges and separates to the route to Jammu from Srinagar. So make sure your driver has fair ideas of security checks. 

12. Eat at roadside dhabas on the way to Pahalgam. Once you have crossed Anantnag, things get super exciting in the form of a scenic drive. So having a meal by the road side with the lidder river flowing alongside makes for quite an adventure. 

13. Make sure you have checked which points are open and which are closed before heading to Pahalgam. Saves disappointment once there. Also if you are staying at Pahalgam, don't miss the hike to Tuliyan lake. We did not do it because of bad weather, but its supposed to be extremely amazing.

14. In Pahalgam as well, do not spend on guide. Do spend on winter boots if its snowing. We spent 30 Rs. per person.

15. You have to leave your vehicle at Pahalgam taxi stand to reach any point around. You can take ponies to Aru valley from there or another car to Betaab valley. The prices are standard according to taxi stand union. So no bargaining here for taxis. There are few temples on the way which are worth a visit, owing to Pahalgam being one of the start points of Amarnath Yatra.

16. In Srinagar there are 8-10 major attractions. If you can, then miss one of the gardens and include coffee drinking experience atop a hillside cafe instead. I know cliched but worth the time!

17. Keep aside 4-5 hours in Srinagar for shopping at Lal Chowk. Paper mache, wood carvings to stoals and shawls, one cannot say no to anything!

18. The Srinagar airport has a lot of security checks, so leave for the airport 3 hours in advance. Usually there's a jam outside the airport, so would save you a lot of anxiety. Also, post all security checks one has to identify baggage personally. Don't forget to do this!

These are the *only* tips I have from my experience. The culture and people of Kashmir are warm and hospitable. Learn a word or two of Kashmiri from them :) Ending this post with the surreal shot of Betaab Valley, Pahalgam.

'In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.' - Albert Camus

shifting wifting haaye rabba

• You start packing your stuff. You stumble across stuff you never knew existed. You label boxes. Make a note to use things which you still dont want to throw away. You throw away some stuff willingly. With some stuff you are just reluctant to let go. For eg. the beautiful glass bottles you collected to plant trees in. But never did anything with them for the past gazillion years, because well you never thought you would leave the house. 

       I am sure everyone goes through this cycle.

• You start loading your stuff in the movers' truck. And the helper guy says 'Madam kitna samaan hai' (Madam, how much stuff you have!) and you lose it. I mean you spend an entire day packing those boxes neatly, by compartmentalizing and arranging stuff and labeling the boxes. So instead of rewarding your OCD with a compliment, the guy tells you that you have too much stuff! You start plotting revenge on the helper guy.

• You get the house you are moving into cleaned well before the actual move. That exercise gives you a brief lesson in how the new house is different from the place you have got used to calling your home for the past n years. That I think is the perk of living in rented houses. Each house offers something different and annoying. Which then becomes a matter of getting used to.

• Everything has now been shifted to the new place. You are now in that terrifying zone when you have to unpack just enough stuff so that its sufficient to get you by for the shifting night/day and enough so that if you want to arrange stuff, getting that out will not hurt the larger scheme of things like the final arrangement of unpacked stuff. 

• You take one last shower in the old house post all the shifting drama and hassles. The accumulated dust* in your lungs and on your body/clothes doesn't want to let go. If you have allergies like I do, every sneeze takes you closer to that dreaded cold where your nose becomes waterworks incorporated. You realize while taking shower that you are going to miss this home. This washroom. The tiles. The arrangement of soap cases. The tiny cohabitants like the spiders** in the remote nook of the wall, where its impossible to get a mop given your height constraints. (which is why you never really bothered to move the spider family out). You cry a little. Because water washes away water.

• You want to keep going to the house so a part of your packing OCD struck brain subconsciously lets you not pack everything in one go. You keep some trinkets. Important enough to not letting go. But just enough for another round the next day. You clean it for the next tenants. You want them to treat it the way you did.  The house is now empty during your next visit. You soak it in. That's the emptiness inside your mind. You let it go.

• You still cannot sleep in the new house in spite of the same bed, mattress, bed sheets, pillows, lights, books. The mind still longs for comfort zone. You know its going to take some getting used to.

Do you also go through all this and more while packing and moving ?
* Dust is an integral part of your life if you live in India.
** so are spiders inside your home!

SCMM 2015

These are some really long notes about SCMM and running.

Sometimes I think in my perfect world I would never register for races. Nor would I travel to different places just to be able to run in an organized fashion. Its not my perfect world, and hence for above reasons I take decisions from time to time to register for racing events and train for them with experts. 

Before every outstation event I go through this :
i. make travel plans a month/15 days in advance
ii.  plan my clothes (its a big part of how you fare at any run!) well in advance. Shop if required and practice in them.
iii. Excitement starts building up in the race week.
iv. The Friday before the race is full of travel anxiety.No productive work gets done. I still go to office (Must thank my stars that no one bothers me with important work on such fridays!)
v. Dream about things that may go wrong. For eg. What if I do not reach the venue on time and they disqualify me. Such positive thinking makes me full of nerves. I am *this* short of outbirsts.
vi. Travel. Travel. Travel.
vii. Meet friends to keep mind off d-day. If possible shop, eat out.
viii. Try to get minimum 6 hours of sleep. Though my brain clock wakes me up at ungodly hours like 2.30 am, 3.30 am and then finally 4.30 am.

Till now (this was my 4th half marathon), I have not missed out on showing up at any event. Things haven't gone as worse as I play the what-if scenarios in my head. But all this has somewhere made me a better human being. 
I look at the positives. I make plan A-G to be executed during any run. My failover scenarios are ready. And I feel as if I am raring to go. Exactly 2 years ago when I started running, I would not have been able to say a single word about all this, of course for lack of experience. These stretch-your-limits experiences have taught me to be prepared and not prepared for elements of life. I am also not sure if I am conveying any meaning out of the words I just typed. 

Anywho, the point is this is my way of tackling pointlessness which loves making its presence felt in my head from time to time. After every race pointlessness takes a backseat and I gain one point. You see the point I am making ?

So if you are a runner in India then SCMM marks the official end of running season here. Its one of the oldest, well organized and prestigious events here! 
I signed up for SCMM to nicely seal off my training plan for the year and later to serve as a marker to analyze running performance over the year. I had a good amount of rest in the race week, showed up well before flag off at start point, clicked selfies with friends, ate almonds, calmed my nerves by remembering favorite bollywood songs. Somewhere I was not feeling that strong, but I had following goals laid out :
A. Target the 2.15 hour bus, wherever the pacers were. Run my own race as all the 5 pacers of the 2.15 bus had weird pacing strategies. If I finished 9.5 km in one hour then I would be able to finish in 2.15 hours by staying strong in the last segment i.e. post 18km.
B. Do a personal best.
C. Run my own race. Did I say this already ?

I started really slow as planned, gained pace over the majestic worli sea link, got steady with every passing kilometer. Surprisingly, I did not have to take a single walking break till 17th km, even for drinking water. Even during the infamous steep Pedder Road incline. *humble brag* I could not run a single kilometer without walking breaks 2 years ago and in my last half marathon I took 10 seconds walking breaks just to gulp water. A huge shoutout to RP and their training!

I was taking 2-3 sips of water every 5-7 minutes to compensate for the humidity in Mumbai. My body showed first sign of weakness in the form of salt loss at 16 km with cramps in lower left abdomen. I immediately switched to sipping enerzal from a nearby aid station. They went away fairly quickly. The next event happened post 17km. Lower right abdomen started cramping. This time I walked for 10 seconds, sipped good amount of enerzal and water. Willed it to go away. Bugger did not. It kept on making its presence felt even if my body took a slight bend or tried to do something different to steer my brain away from the pain. I let the body take over the brain which was in such a good controlling position till now. In a way I knew my race was over specially goal A. I walked a bit more. Let time slip by. Post the 18th km marker, I decided I would walk every 20 seconds. But. But. But. The mumbai crowd and excellent support system in the form of bands playing live music, dance troupes, motivational songs, showed up. Damn! How could I even imagine to walk when so many unknown faces were cheering all of us weirdos for no particular reason to keep going. So I kept going. At a slow and steady pace. The pain went away. I crossed the finish line with a timing of 2:21:25. And fainted. This is what real electrolyte loss feels like, I told myself. I steadied and made way to the amazing and special recovery area for women athletes (if I may call myself so without any pretense). 

#scmm2015 memories

SCMM is a really well organized event. Water and aid stations are plenty and well placed. If you have studied your race route well, you would find water/aid stations exactly where you were supposed to find them. In addition locals setup stalls to help poor, thirsty and hungry runners. 
But this year's race felt too crowded for my taste. There was not a stretch where you could have the patch of a street to yourself. That's my only grouch. I can imagine how tough it can be to organize an event on such a massive scale so my only plea to the organizers is to cut down on entries. Pretty please!

So what am I up to now ?
I am still recovering from the race. I have showed up at work. I have achieved my personal best timing. And I have learnt to run my own race and enjoy what I can by planning what I can plan for during a run. I am also grateful to the support my friends and family give and sometimes plan their life around my running schedule. I am now going through marathon events in India this year and listing down interesting ones. I'll plan a part of my year around them. Because as I mentioned at the beginning, in my perfect world I would never register for or run races.

Book Love 2014

I read 23 books this year. 2 more than last year. Yay!

Though I had planned to read many more books, as I always do, I could not because of other stuff happening in life. Altogether I am happy from a completely analytical perspective, because 23 > 21 and the genres I touched during this year were much varied than last year's! Despite that I did not have any absolute favorites like previous years.

goodreads link here : https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/4760161-yamini?page=1&shelf=what-i-read-in-2014&view=covers

Special mentions for The ocean at the end of the lane, Principles of uncertainty, On the road, Anna Karenina and Burmese Days.

What did you read last year that you loved ? Share ?