Can someone turn off the lights please............

Sometimes everything seems so hollow..
i guess that must be when despair wins and we give up....
sometimes i start feeling absolutely hopeless about almost everything....i feel like i am geting sucked inside this big,dark black hole....
if i knew 'why' i would be the perfect human being..aint i??
or is it may be i had stopped risking myself or my happiness, and now when i am trying to do so, to be purely more happy, i feel its all very stupid...
there s nothing like being more happy or something...ur just happy or ur not....
but some sane person had told me that i should strive for the HAPPIER Me...rather than settling on being just "HAPPY"!!
huh?????
dilemmas.....confusions....chaos...
my chemistry teacher used to tell us that wipe of the word CONFUSION from ur dictionary....now i know how costly its proving!
i thought the confusion ll drive me to lead to enlightening facts about myself,about life, about everything in general.....ya being confused helped...being in a dilemma always helped cos that way i could gauge so many aspects of...anything...
the picture was never pure black and white! i could see all the colors...not just the good or the bad....
And now when i want to see something pure black and white, it aint helping me...
bah.............
why are we born with such pieces of grey matter which produce intellectually stimulating thoughts..... :-/
Can someone tell me how to shut this thing off, please????
{dont tell me go and booze cos it does not ve any effect on me :D}