May be.....

The other day I was reading this and amused (twas a great read) I forwarded the link to another friend..
He gave me some really good food for thought..as a passing thought on the post, he said, 'the thing is, our generation (read u, me aur hum) was born with the million dollar dream !'

I have been thinking since then..Really ????
We all are blessed in a way to be born in an era, when India is shining, almost like a star !
Almost all of us (except for the underprivileged) have got opportunities in life, if we made a conscious choice out of, would take us to that dream of ours !! But still most of the youth today looks disillusioned, by the very power of YOUTH. I want to blame it on the Pandora's box thrown open in front of the impressionable minds, as a result of the globalization, booming economy, technical progress, software revolution, etc. Every other person I meet (my age), wants to drive a ferrari, own a yacht (I Do ..), live a life king size/queen size.. But none (very few) is willing to take the effort or at least the decision towards achieving it.. I mean materialistic fantasies are not bad, we all have them, as a result of the 'karma' we do..
So why not satisfy them and move towards the more sacred state ?

Or may be, our generation had this engineering/medicine naam ka congenital desease. Its like a label, a tag. A baby is born and its bound to be a successful doc or a nerdy techie or a hotshot ceo. We are a generation, who moved ahead of our predecessors a lil bit, by coming out of the 'government job-secure life-happily ever after' syndrome. We are adventurous when it comes to taking risks with our lives. But have we been justifying the freedom of choice we have ? The very freedom which as I above said is the reason behind a lot of soul searching.

May be our generation needs to take charge of itself, by being accountable for its actions and thinking. May be...

I dont know why I am writing random stuff, which cropped up in my head..may be its a good way to increase post (most of them unread :() count. may be...

Anyways, as far as my own life is concerned, I think that I want those many things that everyone else wants. And I have the gear to work towards them and get them. At least, I feel like it :) Plus its like being a child again and doing what you like, you enjoy the most. May be..

Again I remember the very point my friend made, 'But at 23 its important to know that we are in control of our life!' May be... If we are not a part of some big scheme, being just moved by others, then yes.. we are in control :)

Anyways, I have to catch some online lectures now..keep working for your goals..it feels good :)

And yeah mom received my letter (the very first i sent from amreeka) and she told that she lost sleep, could not eat properly :-\ well she says, this happened cos of the unbounded happiness she felt after reading the 2 page long novel I wrote..But i seriously doubt my writing skills now..if this is what happens after reading my letters, then I am disillusioned..
may be....

P.S. I hope I have given enough hints to people, to comment :) :)

a lady's day out !!

For me a day out is more about, giving time to myself, cook, read, relax and shop !!!!
yes, the purrrfect feel good thing that's a routine in any lady's life, is a shopping trip to the nearest mall :)
well, i happened to visit numerous malls here, since i landed..for various reasons..kabhi grocery (which s a routine now), sometimes mall hunting for household stuff to get better, cheaper deals..and sometimes just to give friends company..

But i tell you, this can become a serious addiction..especially when it comes to clothes :)

I happened to visit some really posh stores in downtown recently..gosh twas like somebody had set me off from a prison..the stores were a run for money for sure..amazing variety and really good collection..i carried almost 10 sets of clothes to the trial room..and made myself feel like a princess..i liked the system here, your allowed to take as many as 6 clothes at a go..In Indian malls, they allow only 2 clothes at a time :(
and ask a girl, what joy it is, to try so many things at a time !!!
i mean, i ended up buying only the essential stuff, but i found the whole process amusing :)

If you happen to go to a clothes store sometime, just observe a lady shopping..we just handpick stuff, stuff that r eyes fall in love with at the first glance..its no looking back for us then..
females also keep an eye for the stuff most of the other girls are buying, for some it gives an idea of the common taste, for some its an indication that they should not be buying that style, to get added to the 'oh-so-common' or general group..for me it just tells that, if i have missed out on some really good section of the store !!

But again ask a lady, what pain it is to give up stuff which she really likes, but doesn't need; to give up stuff gracefully as someone else has already picked up the last remaining piece or to give up stuff which is not available in her size..that's the worst agony of life..and i think that's why ladies are so reasonable in life, they can give up on stuff coolly :) (hope guys are listening ;))

Many ladies think that shopping is the ultimate salvation..and i agree almost entirely, cos we have this uncanny ability of feeling good about ourselves, by just spending some bills, sometimes on nothing :D I have done the same on many low days and given company to many girlfriends on their bad days..so i can tell you that it works :)

I was watching the movie 'sex and the city' (silly movie actually) the other day and felt the same, when all girl gangs would just go for fashion sales, auctions or shows, for a day out !! I have never been a fashion icon, in my life, but i know somewhere we all want to make r statement..it is a way of expression :)

And now you must be wondering why I'm so hell bent on defending the whole 'shopping extravaganza' ?? Cos i bought a really pretty summer skirt (now don't echo the fact that its winter time, dumbass :-\) which i fell in love with, and moreover twas in sale and cheaper and dint want to let go of it (read essential) and really really pretty (again!)..
so is it making sense now ??
Cant really keep that girlie one in me, in control, at such times !!

nightflier
(the one who is very happy over her shopping skills !! pats herself :))

one month old !!

For the uninitiated, i landed in the US of A on 11th of August :)
haan, ek mahine pehle, aankhon mein kuch sapne liye, pocket mein daddy ke paise liye, 32 kgs ke 3 bags liye, mann mein kafi sawaal liye (?!?!), i entered this land !!
In no mood of retrospection/introspection and the scary lots, so chill :) :)

but since, i am a 'bad assignment' (yeah, i wrote bout it ) down today successfully, it calls for celebration !! muzeeek, drinks :D and more muzeeek....
As i have become accustomed to this numbering my thoughts system, presenting to you, the things which i m liking here the most ...

1. the university..yeah its private and costly, but for the sheer joy of learning and being in classes, i am loving it !!
2. the range of international friends i m making everyday..yesterday i made a Nigerian friend. Made really good friends with a Spanish guy from Spain (duh, Spanish people live elsewhere too!!) on my day 1 at the university..have wonderful Bangladeshi and gujju roomies..a guy from Peru, he s also Spanish, is my walking and homework :) partner..and of course french, chinese, americans and desis. Feels really good :)
3. the profs and the courses..
4. Chicago !! come on i live in downtown, who wont love it ??
5. the Michigan lake (i know now this post is sounding repetitious)

I think, in spite of being slow and dumb, i will finish my M.S. here :)
plus, with so many handsome french guys around, i don't think i m gonna have a bad time ;)
so on this daydreaming note, i will say my tata ...

happy one month to me !!

nightflier

kung fu woman !!

How many of you ladies have felt unsafe out there, when u were walking/shopping/traveling alone, all on your own ?
This is a generalized question to everyone..i know it becomes a lot more tougher when you are out there alone, doing all your chores, in a big, bad world..predators are everywhere..but have you given any thought, that you can be victimized or made an easy prey, by the situation..

Well, if you haven't then, i will share this wonderful workshop (which i attended) details with you..i went to a 'self defense' workshop recently held on my campus..the need being just to have fun, get to know other females on campus and lastly learn self defense..
ironic, but the kind of protective environment i was brought up into, i never came across any creeps (read mentally ill/sick/psycho human beings)..and after growing up also, i either ignored lewd people around me, or was surrounded by male friends/peers, always letting them boast in the glory of being 'the protector' !! oh well, the need is still not there, but the whole notion of being in a foreign country and out of your comfort zone can be unsettling..so with this thought in the back of my mind, i went..and thank heavens i went :)

The instructor was a wonderful lady, Margarett, a social worker for an organisation 'Impact'.
To build up the session and involve us, she started off with personal experiences and the situations which all females have to face and handle. The basic idea was to tell that its in our hands to control situations and avoid extreme consequences.
I really cant give details of the exciting session (don't mind my volatile memory !) but want to share some of the tips which i think are really cool and handy !
so without relying on my amazing memory, further more, here you go..

1. Never ignore the inner instinct..Remember that a female's instincts tell her that something is wrong, way before it happens ! so don't think that, the other person cant harm you, cos if he doesn't then rightho! but if he does then .....
2. Use that voice of yours.. When someone invades your personal physical space knowingly, raise your voice..first politely, and then steadily being loud and clear..this tells other people around that someone's causing you trouble.. This also builds confidence :) I know being a woman, its are nature to be pleasant and warm and we are supposed to be spreading sunshine everywhere, but no point being the good one, when your being taken advantage of !!
3. Keep sharp things like keys handy, just in case..most of the times, assaults are never made, if you show (its very important to show that you feel like the queen of the world, and i know every woman somewhere loves being this !! :)) that your alert..but when you know that your not in a safe area, keep things handy..carry a pepper spray, keys should be handy in case you have to run to your vehicle, etc..
4. Mobile phones can come handy..in some cases just to pretend that your in touch with soemone..but only when you know that your safety zone is nearby.. Otherwise talking on a phone outside, blocks your attention and senses, so don't use it much :)
5. learn some kicking techniques from ur male friends/peers..i learnt some today, but don't really want to explain all that :D don't mind..but use your four limbs (2 hands and 2 legs) to the fullest..try to hit on softer parts of the body..anything from neck up and groin is right on spot ! These are extreme measures which we seldom require..but it helps building confidence..so learn it for the heck of it :)
6. Last and the most important, always try to be alert, don't block any of your senses..its always clever to be in your safety zone first :)

so on this note, be alert, be confident and listen to that instinct of yours :) its never wrong :)

nightflier (fellow woman) !

And for the indians here in amreeka, we came up with an amazing dish which comes very close to the chaat (a snack) we have back home :) buy the doritos/nacho/tacos, any flavor and dress them up with a salad topping of finely cut tomatoes,onions,cilantro (coriander :D),grapes, a pinch of salt, nimbu and sugar :) it tastes just heavenly :) try it and lemme know !!

giving up..

just gave up on a matlab assignment..
not that I cant program..its just that I cant program myself to do stuff I don't understand :S
it's a big issue now, cos the deadline for the project is thursday..
I have been working on it since friday, but whether you call it my slow brains (probability is higher) or not, I'm struggling badly..

and things do tend to get worse, if rest of the class is enjoying the weekend and you are the only loser ass sitting in the apartment, not enjoying chicago weather (last few days of summer you see) and the realization about 'you-are-a-jerk' dawns upon you at 11.30 in the night on a sunday !!!
we (me and my roomie who share the same class) have contacted/mailed the prof since friday, but seems lucky chap, is having a great time on the weekend..the only responses have been, in greek !! and my position and situation does not give me time to learn all that you see !!! and I dont want to sound like a geeky jerk, but we have been the only 2 people, pestering him..rest of the class is too clever to even consider him for help, that too on a weekend, me thinks !!

so when nothing else works in life, and you start feeling frustrated and worked up and tensed and worthless (:D)..give up people !!

from failed relationships to unsolved assignment problems, this technique works..hoping with the best of hopes that this works :D

live and let live,
nightflier !

P.S. i really want to write on deep, meaningful issues, guess i have already given up on that front !! :)

To my teachers !!

'Thank you' to these teachers for everything ...

My mother - for the constant encouragement and support
Dhurve Madam - for the chances she gave me
Ranade Madam - for the patience she showed
Salpekar Sir - for being the most amazing and innovative language teacher
Aathavle Sir -my MATH guru and one who helped me realize my potential and who respected me (he will always have a special place in my heart !!)
Tak Sir - for teaching life through chemistry
Kurode Madam - for being the true teacher, who taught us about life as well !!
Ketaki, Rinku, Rupali, Leena, Anuj, Prayag, Advait, Niketa, Dada - the real teachers in the practical world !!
Infosys - for NRN !!!! (helped me earn my first bread and butter :D and proved infy the dream employers :))
My father - for being the solid pillar !!

I have just one more thing to say, these people have helped me to be a better person.

P.S. Thanks to addu for this post !!

The dilemma that never was ...

tring tring (can't give words to the departed's theme :-\)

friend: hey yam, I'm going to India, december 29th (morose tone)
me: hey, thats gr8 news !! cool yaar..how much dijja get the tickets for ?

friend: 1150 ... (still morose)
me: !!!!!! wish I could come... (sigh....)

friend: (now ekdum charged up tone) chal na mag... (come then) we will go together !! what fun we will have there..we will meet up with everyone there..goa jayenge..and we might get to attend the star couple's engagement !!
(like a candy man in a candy shop tempting small kids, with handful of candies !!! stupid jerk)
me: ......

and thus was created the dilemma that never was !!
so damning the friend and cursing him some more, I m contemplating whether to go home or not :s :s
and I don't quite believe that I'm actually thinking over the whole issue
:-\ :-\