An ode to work

That keeps me busy and occupied day after day.

That on really slow days makes me feel thankful for being there.

That makes me appreciate the various skills required, on a day to day basis to get a task done. Technical, tactical, strategical and human.

That makes me realize the value of showing up day after day. Sometimes that is all what is needed from me, it assures me.

That makes me realize, I can grow old doing this or something like this, even if it means working from a desk, sitting across a machine.

That is sometimes an escape, because it keeps me engaged and takes my mind off other negativity around.

That is sometimes as mundane as eating a meal.

That is always there, even if I feel like taking an effort or not.

That teaches me that dream or not, it is just work after all.  

That lets me be creative, impulsive, really intelligent (at times) and really stupid.

That is a constant when everything around me is constantly changing.

P.S. I am an office going adult. And feeling generally grateful about the ability to work to derive and create meaning.

of home furnishings etc.

I moved into this new home more than 6 months ago. The place has an open kitchen, airy and spacious living room, huge wardrobe, enough furniture for me to never think about buying anything new, a terrace and lots of plants. Yes, my generous ex-owner thought she could leave all her non human living co-habitants with me. Thanks to the super nice cleaning lady they are alive. And thanks to aai, who cleaned a lot of pots, cut away weed, they are thriving. I take credit for all the beauty and life these plants add to the home. Simple. Ok I am not that neglectful, I do water them every now and then and do make sure the weeds are thrown out. I just wanted to convey that plants are not dying on me or I am not causing anything harmful to them and those things changed in this house and hence this is special! May be I am too naive to take this all personally but you get the gist, or need more rant?

Anywho, the move happened as I wanted and I loved the new place, but I never quite settled in. This, that and a lot of laziness. I lived almost 4 months without a refrigerator and with a makeshift kitchen. So much so that, that was the excuse I used few times to avoid unwanted guests. Over time things had to change because how often could I crash other people's dinner or self-invite myself to their homes ? After many other measures to procrastinate, I now have a fully functional kitchen with refrigerator and appliances and what not.

book nook!

The only other part of the home, which was fully functional from day 1 was this book nook. I love how light played on the books from this window. Window. This window. The window which streamed abundant sunlight as the sun started setting, since it faced the west. The window without the curtain. The window by which KT and I sat and discussed, how it needed a dreamy curtain. 

Dreamy curtain. It all started that day. The quest to drape this wistful window by a dreamy curtain. How you define dreamy is up to you. To me, some fabric which would let the light flow, not block it fit the bill. A fabric with flow and lightness. I turned all home decor shops in my neighborhood upside down. Ready made curtains got rejected for obvious reasons. I sat by pile after pile of reams of cloth and inquired about how I would get a curtain stitched. Nothing felt like 'this is it'. You know the magical moment, when everything starts making sense ? Somehow google became aware of I needed a curtain and one thing led to another and I started exploring online options. I was reluctant because, how do you buy a fabric without feeling its lightness ? Just by description and pictures ? I put few things in my cart. Started taking opinions. And then went on a 3 week work trip. When I returned the contents of the cart were not available any more. The question of the elusive but curtain-less window remained.

Around 10 days ago, I finally placed an online order for a curtain, irrespective of what lay in store for me. To make matters tougher the website people decided to take their own sweet time to process and deliver the goods. I started tracking the order progress every day. Day before yesterday when the order progress bar had not moved even a tiny bit, I grew impatient and in a desperate bit, let it go. And then by some uncanny magic, yesterday in the middle of a meeting I got a call that the delivery person was out. I told him to leave the package by the security guards, only to realize after few hours that my much awaited dreamy curtain was here!

half dreamy

I finally collected it and hurriedly opened the package and oh! it was really a dream! The fabric was soft, light and had flow. I knew my dream of a dreamy curtain had fulfilled. 

Of course everyone including me would want the story to end here. But my handicapped home furnishing knowledge had made me order 1 curtain for a 2 paneled window. So in short this is how the curtain looked on the window (<-)

So after adorning half of the window, I frantically opened my laptop, searched for the product online. Thankfully it was in stock. But now they were selling it in pairs instead of single piece! Grinding my teeth, pulling my hair, I placed another order. Now in another 10 days or so, I'll have my perfect pair of dreamy curtains. And of course, one unwanted dreamy curtain.

So moral of the story, don't settle unless half or 1 1/2 of your dream is fulfilled.

Pahadi (himachal) Safarnama (Diaries)

I am not a traveler. I mean I travel in a literal sense a lot i.e. going from one place to other. But I am not much into elaborate vacation planning. I like exploring new places only on the condition that the place is there in front of me to be explored. I'll not move mountains to just be someplace and experience living there. It has taken me quite a while to accept this about myself. I am much into imagining and time traveling through the books I read. 
Having said that, I do have a select list of places I would like to visit, because my favorite books and movies happened there or referenced them. (Kashmir was one such place!)

Most of my close friends are avid travel enthusiasts. They love doing all this planning, data gathering, logistics mapping exercise. And it works for a travel sloth like me :)

So when Paglet shared her India visit plans sometime in December, I was relieved because I knew she and her (travel crazy) husband would plan everything. And we would just have to show up. She planned a 3-5 days trip to Himachal Pradesh in the 2nd week of March and I was in! For logistics reason, I and a friend traveled to Jammu. From Jammu we booked a 13 seater mini bus for the road trip to Kasol Valley in Himachal Pradesh. 9 of us boarded the bus and we started the journey from Jammu. It was a slightly rainy day contrary to our expectations so we decided to keep it slow and have fun along the way.

Our first stop was for breakfast after entering Punjab before Pathankot. We were in the land of aaloo paratha and rajma chawal. So without even bothering about what time of the day it was (it was around 10.30 am), we ordered aloo paratha, rajma chawal, paneer paratha and chai (tea). I had the special neembu kehwa chai. Needless to say everything was yummilicious and fresh. It was a roadside dhaba so I can't recall the name, exact location to be able to recommend it to you. I believe all the dhabas on that route must serve the same tasty food!

Further journey till Palampur was uneventful. We tried playing a very silly but most fun game called ping pong. It didn't take off among some players. So we switched to playing Dumb Charades. Of course my team trumped the other team. Then we took a stop just outside Mandi, at hotel Ranjeet. We were starving and ordered all kinds of food there. From chinese to roti sabji to tea, coffee and varied starters. The staff there served us the most awesome road food I have ever had in a surprisingly short time. Within an hour we were back on the road, our stomachs full and our faces happy. Highly recommended place!
(Complete address- Ranjeet dining star restaurant, Joginder Nagar, Mandi).

Post Palampur, the hills were on our vista. We were longing to be among them. Once we entered Mandi, the first road block happened. Someone had parked their broken vehicle in the middle of the road, driving entire traffic to a standstill. Typical small town experience of no one being in a hurry happened. We with our city life conditioning, immediately got out and started trying to clear the deadlock. After 30 minutes halt, we were back on our way. We were moving even slowly now because of the hilly winding roads and sporadic rains. We took a tea break around 7 PM just outside Kasol to relieve ourselves and freshen up. Because we arrived in Kasol after sunset, the hike to the village where we were supposed to stay for the next 2 days did not happen.

We stayed at a local hotel in Kasol where the staff was nice enough to take dinner order from us at 9 PM. We were famished and ate like there was no tomorrow. We played cards and after some fun and frolic, we fell asleep one by one. I was probably the first one to doze off as usual.

Since we had arrived in Kasol after sunset, I had no idea what lay outside. So I was pleasantly surprised and squealed with delight when I woke up to this view outside my room. ->

beautiful Kasol!

We got ready by 10 am (cos of the super long journey the day before) and by the time decided to trek to the village, it had started raining. Starving (I think there is something in the mountain air, it makes your metabolic rate zoom), we had a very sumptuous breakfast of omlettes, tea, egg-paratha, bread toast, scrambled eggs etc. After having fed ourselves we finally headed out, rain or no rain. Thankfully it had stopped raining but it had become chillier. So mandatory winter shopping break happened. Slowly we made it out of Kasol by crossing a precariously placed bridge over the Parvati river. (I dont have a picture of it).
The Parvati river became our companion as we hiked to Chalal. It was a 40-45 min hike made surreal by river on one side and the mountains on the other. Escapist thoughts of disowning all our city ties to dwell in the woods came to all of us, turn by turn. 

When we reached our cottage in Chalal, there was no electricity in the village. Us city dwellers, eager to charge our smart phones and share the beauty on social media, had no option but to let it be. After settling down for a while and exploring the nearby areas, we started scouting for lunch locations. A village of 30-50 houses offers very few options. The kind people at Cafe Freedom offered to prepare fresh lunch for us (it was 3.30 PM). Only in really small towns/villages can one find such hospitality! We ordered loads of food and topped it off with tea, maggi, sandwiches while waiting for real meal to be ready. We got back to our cottage happy and fulfilled and only after sunset. Then we cozied up in a room, singing songs, making up songs, sharing warmth in the cold! One of the rooms also had a wood chimney so some of us got busy to fire it up to try to make the room even warmer. I called it a night early cos of all the airport lag and chill in the air.

Again, the next morning this is the view I woke up to. There was fresh snow atop the distant hill in this picture. I could spend hours sitting in a chair spellbound by the mountains with a glass of warm black tea in my hand. I had my bit of being vain, as my phone showed some network connectivity.

cottage with the view

After rounds of black ginger tea served at our cottage to us early risers, we decided to head out for breakfast. It felt like an expedition, as on the chilly day, even the villagers had decided to take it slowly. Home after home we inquired who would serve us omelettes, bread, aloo parathas and tea. Ema, singlehandedly accepted to serve the gang of 9 (us). The expedition had filled us with cold and we immediately huddled under the thick blankets Ema provided us. Once the warmth was back the chit chat and banter returned. Suddenly overcome by guilt to not even have asked Ema whether she needed help, a friend and I got out of the cozy room and went into her kitchen. She graciously accepted the help and we started serving everyone. I cannot put into words the feeling of eating a very modest breakfast but still feeling overcome by gratitude and satisfaction. Ema's mother, a sprightly 58 year old, who hardly looked and felt her age, sat amused watching us devour the food.
 
We did not do much during the day later and headed back to Kasol by afternoon. From there we went to Manikaran. Spent some time at the hot water springs and headed for Bhuntar. I and a friend were to catch bus for Delhi from here. I personally was very bummed to be leaving that place. On the other hand I was also proud of myself, because I had not accessed office email even once during these 3 days. The temptation was there, but nature saved me.

Though we did not do a lot of touristy things during this trip, I was glad that I got to meet some friends and do a road trip through parts of Himachal Pradesh. With the logistics and unexpected weather changes all went well. Now bitten by the HP warmth, I wish to visit it often and for longer duration.

The extra day

One of those rare occasions when I am home on 29th February. I am jet lagged from a recent trans-atlantic flight and needed a day off from office to regain my senses. I spent the morning watching the Oscars. I was not rooting for anyone particular but it warmed my heart to see spotlight, mad max fury road and Brie Larson and Leonardo Di Caprio win. Then a friend reminded be of this being an extra day in 4 years and I knew what I wanted to do.

I have been trying to write and gather my thoughts about a lot of things. For a while. But I have usual suspects of work and more work and travel and more travel keeping me off track. So I'll try to streamline my thoughts on this extra day, offered to calendar following humans every 4 years.

I'll start with spotlight. Movies based on journalism are always tricky. Not just from subject matter perspective but how journalism is viewed in society in its current form. We are in an era when reporting concepts and mediums have changed. So to be presented with a piece of investigative journalism done right, feels almost surreal. The journalists in the team do a very drudge job, of actually going through records and records of information, line by line; interviewing individuals one at a time; collecting and arranging all the facts and joining the dots; and making a legal, legitimate case aimed at attacking the institution while protecting the individuals. I think this is how un-glamorous most real jobs are. Nothing but individuals working hard and slogging. I found that very relevant and powerful in our times of sensationalism.

'To kill a mocking bird' is one of my most favorite books. It still shapes a lot of my world view. I love Atticus. I was so saddened by Harper Lee's death few weeks ago. I have a list of people (people I know but who don't know me) I would like to thank and she was on my list for creating the book. I cannot imagine I would not get to do this. So here I am trying to say thank you.
My favorite Atticus quote :

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."

I have not run a single mile since the marathon last month. I am trying to take a break and rest and recover. Until now I have succeeded. May be I can even write a separate post about how to take and enjoy down time. I have not woken up at ungodly hours just to complete a run. I am eating whatever I want, whenever I want i.e. without worrying about the run next day. I am also staying up late whenever I feel like especially if I want to get some reading done or watch a late night movie. Still, I miss waking up early and not having a routine. Alas. And I am glad for that because from tomorrow new running year kick starts! Yay!

I met my grad school roommate last week after 5 years. At first I was excited but as the lunch progressed I started to feel uncomfortable. I dint know what I had anticipated, but as it happens with me on most social interactions I ended up feeling confused. I mean it was great to catch up and all, but I realized we dint have much to talk about. We did end up talking about women in engineering though and lamenting on the fact that at most meetings, trainings and conferences, we are the 'only' or 'among the only few' women. Of course we both agreed this did not impact how we were treated. But we agreed there is also a large age gap and how at times it becomes very difficult to let go of the gender i.e. 'I am the only woman here, are they taking me seriously' doubt. Uh well, not all social interactions are weird. I'll end with saying that I am glad for this part of the conversation that we met.

For posterity's sake I am going to document this. I had a close shave with a tornado last week. We were driving from Richmond to Lynchburg in Virginia for a work meeting, when the weather app on my colleague's iPhone gave an alert of a tornado half an hour away. He checked the weather map and as a precaution we decided to wait in a parking lot in a town called Farmville. Yes, I am not making this up. So after 20 minutes of waiting we started driving again. On our way we witnessed snapped trees, shattered and broken roofs of houses. Thanking the weather app and the smart phone we made it to the hotel. The next day we got to know that the tornado had a 8 mile radius, disrupted electricity in the nearby area and had taken 4 lives. Wow! I am only thankful I did not decide to drive on my own that day, because I am pretty sure I would have driven into the tornado, without any weather app on my phone to warn me, in time.

SCMM 2016 - Full Marathon

My foolhardiness knows no bounds. Its always been like this. In school, I used to take up extra work, assignments because I loved studying. I would solve all types of extra problem books, study materials because I loved the challenge. As a runner, after having run 4 half marathons, I knew the drill of training and preparing. I also understood goal setting much better. Never been a believer of speed running or wanting to be one, becoming faster was not my goal. Here I agreed completely with my coaches at Running Potential, when they said, 'Let the speed come to you.' Around June, when SCMM registration discussions were in the air, I started toying with the idea of running a full marathon. A part of me was bored with the same structure of a HM training and wanted to run longer distances. I should also make it clear here that I had no bucket list goals such as, 'I wanted to run a full marathon before this and this age'. So, when the registration finally opened, I did it! When I told my coach at RP, the only reaction he gave me was 'Now on you have to treat every half marathon you run as a long run. There will be no races.' 
(Delhi was to be my race, how it went which you must know. So with these facts established my training started.)

My weekly volume gradually increased to 40-50 km. Initially it was too much to keep up with. The work travels added to the stress. Around August-Sept I got into a good rhythm and finally got accustomed to the schedule. By this time my overall running form had improved to a point, where I could do split after split at a given pace (in the 6.30 - 6.50 mins/km range). I also learned the art of running at slower paces with same effort and cadence. And for this I highly recommend training with experienced coaches. My 'gurujis' are the best thing that has happened to my running. It has taken me 3 years to inculcate and realize most of the advice and words of wisdom they have had for me. I am far from a great student when it comes to running. But I shall get there eventually. *touches wood and all sorts of objects nearby*

Post the ADHM performance, I was really doubtful about my chances of faring well at SCMM in January. My last long run was in last week of December. Like every foolish optimist I told myself, if that run went well, you are going to SCMM. Fortunately or unfortunately the run went well. I ran 42 km on a weekend (14/28 - split between Saturday and Sunday). I recovered in a day as well. And the stage was set. I was going to run the full marathon! I then did my hotel reservations, started spending time studying the race route, coming up with strategies, and focusing on the last phase of pre-race nutrition.
The nutrition strategy shared by running potential helped here as well!

I was a bag full of nerves by the time the race week started. On the weekend of the race I reached the bib collection expo with my brother (he was going to run the half) collected the bib, headed for lunch and then reached my hotel.  Of course there were surprises in store. Oyorooms, from where I had booked the hotel, had relocated me to a different, farther hotel, without even asking/confirming. I was furious at them. So I left the hotel deciding to stay with my brother instead. I let this episode go without giving it much energy. On the way to Dadar, where I was going to stay, I reminded myself to buy bananas for race day. I forgot, and then in the entire nearby area we did not get bananas. I wanted to let this go but was not able to. 'A lot of things can go wrong on your race day', I had read somewhere. For me it had started a day before. Who would have thunk ? After a light meal of idli sambhar, I called it a day and went to sleep at 9 PM with all race day prep completed. 

D-day started with a phone call from a slightly tipsy friend in a different timezone who told me to 'do anything but dont stop'. I wanted to be at the start point as fast as I could, so I said yes to whatever she told me. I got ready with a light meal of 4 marie biscuits, 3 almonds and water. I tucked in the 6 gel packs, made sure my phone was fully charged and gave the pacing plan provided by RP a last glance in the car. I have no idea where I got down from the car, but the start point was almost a kilometer away from there. So I walked to Azad Maidan blindly following other runners. Visited the loo 20 minutes before the race as usual and lined up in the assembly area.

The mood at the Full Marathon starting point was somber. I guess every runner was in a zone and trying to conserve energy and not indulge. I loved the calm. The race started at exact 5.40 am. There was rush at the start but as advised in my pacing plan I stuck to the right side of the road and trudged on at a slow speed. I think I started in the 7-8 mins/km zone. I maintained the innermost line at the two U-turns and picked speed once I hit Marine Drive. Mumbai temperature and air felt really pleasant to be running by the sea. I started drinking water around 2-3 km. And started eating the gel pack at 30 mins, only to gulp one bite of the gel every 15 mins. I also picked up enerzal as and when they were offered. Upto 15 km I was going at a steady rhythm with split after split of 6 mins 42-46 sec. After 10 km, I also started spotting the half marathoners running from the other direction and hence decided to stay on the right side of the road to cheer for known faces (get some energy more like). We hit the majestic Worli Sea link at 14-15 km and my brain could not register the gradual uphill. I tried to soak in the breeze, washed my face at the water station and continued running. I completed 21.1 km in 2hrs 24 mins (1 min less than my pacing plan). I was told to run the first half conservatively and I was happy that I had not gone overboard. I started re-assessing my goals and decided to stick behind an energetic and talkative 5 hour bus pacer. 
Lesson 1 learnt - While running a distance of 42.195 km you need all sorts of positive energy.  Get it from wherever possible. 
I took ice from a station near 23-24 km and rubbed it on my neck, splashed some water on my head and face and kept running with the group. Around 26 km the elite runners pack passed us. Oh what a sight for sore legs that was! Pumped we all continued with good spirit. I walked a few paces around 29 km, as I needed to tear a gel and eat it. The bus went slightly ahead of me here. I walked few more paces with a fellow runner who looked tired and needed motivation, gave him a gel pack and started running again. By this time, the sun was up, but thankfully it was not that hot. I could still see the bus and keeping the goal of catching it, I kept running. It was 32km, and I still had not caught up with them. So frustrated with myself I took a walking break. My brain was not working a lot. I spotted the RP group cheering for me on the left side and deriving some energy out of them, I started running again. I ran well upto the 34 km marker and then started walking on the pedder road climb. I did try running here, but there was not much convincing my brain and I let it go. My brain had completely tossed away the pacing plan, and it was now convincing me to give up. The urge to give up became stronger around 38 km marker. 
Lesson 2 learnt - 'The mind is an excellent servant but a terrible master' Always always always remember this.

On the verge of tears, there was now a raging battle inside me. A part of my brain was telling my body to stop and sit down in shade. A part of it wanted to cry and bawl like a child and ask someone to pick me up and take me to finish line. A part of me was trying against these 2 beasts to keep moving. A part reminded me what the friend had told me earlier in the day. I then implemented this weird strategy, of running 60 paces and walking 60 paces. At times running 200 paces and walking 120 paces. Yes I was counting in my head. I was rid of all the positive energy inside me. When the final left turn arrived, a lady cheered me saying, 'you are almost there' and I snarkily replied 'Lets hope so'. Sorry well meaning lady. If you read this please know that it was not the real me.
Lesson 3 learnt - When anyone says they beat the odds to achieve something, remember the odds are always the voices in your head. You just need one tiny voice of courage and follow it.

I started hating every marker placed after 1000 meters. Still controlling tears, I started properly running without any mind-games around 300 meters from finish line and completed the race. If you see my finish video there is no gladness or hurrah on my face or in my body language. I could not believe 42 km was such a long distance. I wanted to complain to someone 'do you know what just happened? This distance was never ending' I felt completely exposed and vulnerable during these last 4 kms. I met P near the recovery tents, where she was patiently waiting for me for 2 hours! Seeing her familiar face brought back those tears I was hard fighting to keep hidden.
Everyone had been congratulating and messaging on facebook after she put up a picture, but it took me a lot of time to wrap my head around the torture my own brain made me go through.

Now after almost a day post the race, while typing this, I realize how fortunate I was to not get injured while running. Or not bonk. I have only my coaches at running potential to thank for this fantastic achievement. Of course my legs are sore and I am feeling tired. But I am ok with that feeling. btw those asking (and not asking openly and wondering) I completed the race in 5 hours 13 minutes and 11 seconds. 

I do not know what my next race will be or plan is. But I had decided to take a break from running races for some time and I intend to do so.

Book Love 2015

I wanted to start my new year (you know when the clock strikes 12) with some writing. But I spent most of the last few hours of 2015 huddled in a chair reading and finishing the book Misery by Stephen King. So I let it be and pushed the writing part to the new day.

I love doing this ritual on my blog for myself. I feel huge gratitude that I live in a world where magic (also) dwells in the form of the written word and books. I also feel thankful that because of some strange wiring in my brain I 'love' reading books. I spent a lot of 2015 traveling. Mostly it was work related so my reading became punctuated by how much work related reading I ended up doing. If numbers were important then I read an abysmal 15 books this year. As I was going through the goodreads list, I realized I touched upon different genres, and writers from different countries and backgrounds this year. So that is a little ray of hope there! I like how I am stumbling across these writers and books. Serendipity or not.

I'll write about some of my favorite reads of this year.
Letters to a young poet by Rainer Maria Rilke - As a letter lover this book was a treat. Some of the most timeless advice for anyone who wants to write. Heck live a meaningful life. Rilke rules!
 
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi - KT had recommended this book long time back. That email remained in my mailbox and the book never made it to my reading list. After I came back from a work trip and was itching to read a book which wouldn't be a 1000 page long will power test, but instead would be breeze. I picked this book and put it down only after I was finished reading it. What a book! Marjane's humor and no-nonsense objective look at life while growing up surrounded by a conflict was an eye opener. Her journey is not only interesting and fun, its strewn with personal loss, coming of age insights and what it means to be a liberated woman in this world. I loved the book.

Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda ngozi adichie - Adichie's single story TED talk drove me to her books. I picked purple hibiscus on a random whim. My biggest revelation while reading the book was as an Indian I could relate with the social structures in Nigeria. I liked Adichie's writing because it felt personal, had good observations about human nature and had pretty good characters. Of course I wanted to know more about what happened to Kambili.

The year of magical thinking by Joan Didion - I had never read Joan Didion before. I read this book because of a random brainpickings article I read. Her tale of personal loss was so honest and immediate that it felt refreshing in an odd way. Without any layers or drama, she lays out the facts. It puts you in an extremely vulnerable frame if not brutal and makes one wonder about how losing someone you love must feel like.

Eat and Run by Scott Jurek - Disclaimer- It may not be the most well written book out there about running or someone's running journey. But Scott Jurek is awesome and any book associated with him I'll read without judging for the inspiration quotient it brings. I have learnt so much about running and eating and life from this book. Thank you P for this amazing birthday gift!

Misery by Stephen King - Pushkar sometimes suggests the most scary books. A voracious reader himself I was prodding him for some holiday reading suggestions and he suggested I should check this one out. It was more of a thriller than horror, he had assured. The reason for my aversion to Mr. King was I had tried reading IT and had failed. I knew he was one hell of a writer, but he didn't deserve a sissy reader like me. Anyway I took Pushkar's word and marched on. I was hooked to the book despite the horrifying things it had in store for me. I finished it in 2 days. Unputdownable. Word of caution though - Dont read it during night. Creepiness quotient doubles.

I am planning to start 2016 with some non fiction with a hope to read many more genres, writers and books.

Delhi Half Marathon

I signed up for the Airtel Delhi half marathon 2 months ago (popularly known as #ADHM in running circles). I had been to Delhi earlier once and had liked the capital a lot! The race route went from Nehru Stadium, to Lodi Gardens to Rajpath (India Gate) to Parliament to Jantar Mantar and looped back to Nehru Stadium. So all the more reason for me to be able to run there and enjoy the royalty and history of Delhi.

In the running circles, the Delhi route is known as a flat route and hence best to get a personal best timing. Of course my wishful brain had already broken all personal records in its head and achieved running glory. Before you read further into this long post, let me shatter your dreams and make it clear nothing like this happened. In fact this was one of my worst post race experiences ever in terms of exhaustion and soreness. The saving grace was how valiantly I ran the first 18 km, without taking a break. And what happened after that as an anticlimax to an otherwise heroic story, if I may say so myself.

I reached Delhi well before the race ie early Friday morning. I spent the day with my childhood friend and her husband exploring Connaught place, Agrasen ki Baoli, Janpath, etc etc. Let me make it clear we did not walk much. Both of us (I and the friend) were going to run the half marathon and very well understood the implications of too much strain on the legs just 2 days before a race. We used the Metro extensively. Even sat on the floor for lack of space which was very Mumbai like of us according to Upasna :) We ended Friday with a light dinner and Mockingjay Part 2. The Katniss Everdeen within us had very much awakened and we felt ready for the battle.

On Saturday we collected our race kits and bibs. My only gripe was the collection point was far off from where I was staying ie Gurgaon. Because we wanted to conserve energy and time we did this trip by Uber and ended up spending a fortune of 1500 Rs. But nothing is greater than resting your legs and body before race day. We ended Saturday at 9 PM.

I woke up on race day at 4 AM without any alarm. Got ready with a light breakfast of banana, 2 parle G biscuits and some black tea and a glass of water. Reached the race holding area at 6.30 am i.e. 40 minutes before the race start. Of course had to take a loo break. Kudos to the organizers to have plenty of portable toilets at the venue (and also along the route). I did not have to wait in lines for a long time and go through anxiety of never reaching the start point in time.

The race started at sharp 7.10 AM. I and my friend were in holding area C, so it took us 2-3 minutes to reach timing mats on start point. I had already started my running app, as I did not want to miss starting it later. I started running only after the start point making way through the crowd of runners. I started steadily and slowly in the 7-7.20 mins/km pace zone. After 1 km point I settled in the 6.20-6.30 mins/km pace zone. Time for some back story here.

I had returned to India after a work trip a week before the race. As soon as I reached home, I caught a terrible cold. I let it run its course because I wanted my lungs to be freer of cough and related ailments on race day. I was also jetlagged and my sleep cycle was totally ruined. Because of all this drama I had missed one of my slightly longer weekly run. I had run only once in the week before the race. And before that due to travel etc I had missed 2 of my long runs.
So when I started #ADHM my mind and body knew that finishing the race strong would be a task in itself, given the hassle my body had gone through. But once I started running in the capital, in the morning smog and haze, my body settled in a rhythm and ran consistently. Around 6 km mark when India gate came into sight I could feel slight excitement. It was a very surreal moment for me to be running near India gate and on Rajpath. That added to my consistency and I continued running at the steady pace. At the 8km mark, I could see faster runners going back to the stadium (it was their 13km mark) and I felt immense joy that only 13 more km were remaining in my race. The half way point was near Jantar Mantar and once I looped around it, I promised my body that it will get a gel pack and some almonds once it reaches 15 km. At around 14km, I ate an almond and continued running without a break. My brain was functioning very well, as in it was not tired and asking my body to give up and start walking. My lungs were 'running' better than ever despite the cold/cough. So when the 16km mark came my brain told my body, one more kilometer and you will get half an energy gel! My body obliged. Somewhere during the 18th kilometer I tried to tear the gel pack while running. I could not, so I walked a few paces to concentrate on the tearing. To my shock the moment I paused to walk, I realized my legs had gone numb. My toes had that tingling sensation you get when blood flow has stopped to some part of your body. My immediate thought was I was going to faint in the middle of the road. I did not. So I continued walking for few meters and concentrated on eating the gel. I ate half the gel and started running again. My mind had of course started playing games. It was telling me to walk more. After 18km I started walking again. I felt I would walk to the finish line.

Seven!

And then a miracle man came by my side. He told me only 2 kms were remaining and I could do it. In a marathon event, you meet many such people who say words like 'come on' and move on. But he persisted. He did not let me walk. And so reluctantly I started running. I regained my initial pace despite my body screaming to let it go. I was literally chanting 'push, come one, push' to myself. Howmuchever weird it may sound. I crossed the finish line running and on a stronger note. Post run I sat down at the first spot I found empty on a staircase and ate the remaining gel and water. I was staring at the passersby like a zombie, trying to make sense of the trauma I made my body go through. And of course trying to find out my angel in disguise who made me not give up, whom I could never find again.

My lesson learnt is, however regular I am in training, I need to focus on what I eat specially when I travel. And since travel takes a toll on routine and general health, I need to plan better. Or may be I need to stop travelling and focus only on running :P

I am glad though I did this race. It was one of the better organized races I have been to. This was my seventh half marathon and it will always remain special for me!