Thoughts - filtered through the sieve

Getting that itch to write a philosophical post. Maybe also because birthday was around the corner and I cannot help but make a list. Of thoughts, things and my musings.

Travel - I increasingly feel that I live in a silo. I read only particular books (despite the efforts to include writers from different ethnicity, backgrounds, countries, languages, genres in my reading list). I watch only a section of movies that are released each year, which are mostly filtered down to me through big time film enthusiasts I follow on twitter. I consume 0 news or related media. Whatever 1-2% I consume is mostly again a filtered stream and aggregation of people I follow on social media. On a regular basis I 'hang' with people from a particular strata. Even my closest friends are from similar societal, financial backgrounds. Of course we speak different languages and grew up in different parts of the world. But you know what I mean, right ?

better things lie beyond open doors?

The only exception to this is when I am traveling, despite my propensity to hate it. It flattens the world and exposes me to people, weather, cultures I would have otherwise imagined while reading a book or never given a thought to. Whether its meeting a 60 year old dancer on the train to Salzburg and noting down her recommendations for the city. Or, listening to a middle aged Marathi kaku (aunty) who manages her home, farm and a resort while serving and taking care of her guests. Travel has made me connect with people at a very different level. This has not had an impact on me as a person. I think. Yet. But it has been educational. 2016 has been exceptionally good  to me in terms of travel. I hope the trend continues. With respect to finding time to travel and the means to make it happen in the material world, where money is required. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.

Time and wait - All through my 20s I struggled with being patient for something and then not being patient for the same thing. At times I chose to be patient for the wrong reasons and things never worked out. At times it worked out really well. But what I have learned over the years is, waiting is hardly a good strategy. Few things for eg. progressing in a career, becoming fit enough for running a marathon in under 5 hours or even finding the right person to spend your life with take time. But the preparation for them usually starts in the now. Earlier this year, I ran a marathon. I was not there physically when I registered for the race. Mentally I just felt like I could be there. Post 4 months of grueling and dedicated training, I arrived at the same conclusion. I was mentally there. Physically being there was going to be a long journey. One would rather argue that why go through all the pain if I knew this already. But that's not the point. My point is if I had not started I would not have known what it takes and whether I am willing to do it. Knowing by trying something out rather than waiting has felt rewarding to me. Taking that leap and traveling to places without worrying much about planning and money has made me really good with my expenses and account keeping. I have faltered at times, but mostly I have learned. I have become more thoughtful. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.

Being Conscious - Over the last few years I have questioned a lot of choices I make, whether it comes to the food I eat, clothes I wear, luxuries I seek etc. etc. and the decisions I make. It has made me conscious of the impact my decisions end up having, not only on me, but people close to me, my surroundings, my environment, my home etc etc. I am still learning to not do a lot of things on auto pilot. Rather think through even the smallest of decisions. It is a lot of work at times. But I am glad I have chosen this path. It has led me to declutter my life, and my physical spaces. I still am guilty of hoarding a few material possessions, but largely I am moving toward a lifestyle of less. And the less I need or feel the need for the more I feel the following.

Gratitude - I have wondered about this state of being grateful for a long time. I have even tried to write about it. On some days I have absolutely nothing. But lately, on most days, I find myself fascinated, curious and largely amazed by what the world has to offer. Even on hopeless days, when things feel like they are falling apart. It still is not an organic reaction or a part of me. But I am increasingly grateful. It has gone beyond just the people, work, choices in my life. It is more than that. Coming from a place I still cannot describe or put a finger on. But I am grateful.

May be what you seek, really, is seeking you?

Detour

I want to take a break from the travel reporting and reflect on my state of my mind, when I am traveling. 

I like being out. Out in the nature > out with people or in public, crowded spots. I do like taking breaks, reading books, doing nothing. I also like work. The work I do which keeps me engaged and occupied. But I am also deeply imperfect and human. In the obsession of trying to keep everything balanced, I at times lose clarity. Things lose their balance and it becomes imperative to just pack my bags and go away.

'Go away', I did. Leaving tons of office work unattended and personal life hanging. Even though this trip was planned and I understood at some level, that I needed heck deserved this break, my mind kept wandering to unwanted territories. Paglet had warned me about the obsession with checking work emails. I had obliged by enabling 'manual' updates. Not proud to report that until I reached Amsterdam, I was regularly 'manually' fetching all emails and reading them. FOMO anyone ?

As things went south in Amsterdam (with our health), the FOMO gradually went away. It got replaced by a longing to be home. Who wants to be home, one week into their trip ? That would be me.

I had read a line somewhere (I think here), that, 'I travel or I go away, so that I can come back.' Come back where ? I think I got my answers in the next 10 days, in the next leg of the trip.

In Brugge

Part 1 and Part 2 in case you are interested.

'Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.' - Stupid grumpy Ray from In Bruges (the movie).

Of course, for me replace hell by a good idea of heaven, please! I am like the good old romantic Ken from the movie who wants history, culture and a good time to be able to call it a good day. Good life even. When I watched the movie back in 2010, I knew I would visit Brugge one day.

the sight of the bed!

That day arrived in 2016 July. After the super flop journey to Brussels and making J and Paglet bear the brunt of my illness, I channeled all my inner will power and strength to go to Brugge. We left Brussels at a leisurely 11 am in the morning on the 21st of July. An hour long, uneventful (thank god!) train ride later, we were at the Lybeer Hostel, lugging those dreadful backpacks and that cursed stroller on the cobbled streets of Brugge. The pragmatic in me was cursing the romantic by this time. I made myself lie down as soon as we entered the room. This seemed to work for the pragmatic.

A bit about our hostel. It was 15 minutes walk from the railway station. We had a single room with 1 bunk bed and shared bathroom. It was clean and it also had a window which opened to the terrace! It also had an open kitchen, library with book exchange, open bar and lounging area. One hour rest later...

hostel terrace!

We were to take the walking tour of Brugge with cyhit the same day. We had already been  introduced to our tour guide Thijs, through his successful attempt to scare us. (He knocked on the door. I opened the door, totally unaware and he scared the hell out of me by presenting himself in one of those K3 type masks. He was apparently trying to scare Paglet, being colleagues. You know how it went). 

very very good!

The afternoon (3 pm) tour was supposed to start from the Charlie Rockets Youth hostel (another very nice hostel with a social vibe). A bunch of us 3 Peruvians, 3 Scottish girls and 2 Indian girls (us) were to be Thijs's party for the afternoon. The tour was filled with his antics! He made us touch and feel history, making us stand on the oldest bridge in Brugge for a few minutes. We made our way through Astrid park, walked through the prison which is now a residential area to the city center. Brugge is home to a very famous church which supposedly houses the blood of christ (in powdered form). No we did not go there. I am just sharing knowledge. After some more medieval stories and jokes, we came near the bell tower. The famous bell tower. I and one more girl from Scotland were the only ones who had watched the movie In Bruges. So we two were the only ones who got all Thijs' jokes and references. Pop culture FTW! He shared few more anecdotes from the movie and gave us recommendations about where to have the best fries and chocolates. (Belgium is the home of potato fries and some really good chocolates!)  We also did a secret pitstop at a very nice and old pub and had the most amazing local beer. I was unwell but I tried it a little. Belgian beer y'all! The beer stopover also gave us a chance to sit down and relax and get to know each other. Some fun exchanges later we started the part 2 of our walking tour. We also got introduced to the symbolic Brugge architecture and some flemish history. Thijs gave us some really cool and cheap references for food, beer shopping, ice cream and things to do. Thijs was a storyteller who made us time travel while narrating some of the incidents of the west flanders. The 2 hour long tour ended at the oldest hospital in western Europe. (I highly recommend it if you are interested in local culture, cuisine, history and fun :))

Tour group!

Brugge is really small. You can travel from one end of the city to the other in 30 minutes, 40-50 minutes if you walk leisurely. Paglet and I roamed around a bit. Had some delish fries and mayo, soaked in the sunshine. Surprisingly I was feeling sprightly again. We then bought some local beer and made our way back to the hostel. As soon as I was inside the hostel, the body pain and being unwell feeling was back. But we met some really fun people and the evening went on smoothly, with conversations. There was a solo traveler from Turkey who knew very little English (the language). I cannot tell you the pain I felt while trying to make meaningful conversation with him. 
We called it a night sooner than everyone else. 

Next day when we woke up Paglet was showing the first signs of being ill. I was slightly better. So we decided to have some breakfast and just take it easy, since we also had to leave for Amsterdam the same day. We went to Astrid park and sat around like bums, studying the city map thinking what next to do.
We decided to buy some souvenirs and found an interesting souvenir shop on the map. There is a very famous Sanskrit idiom which means something like this 'When your bad time is going on, you tend to think unintelligently.' Our walk to the shop was going to be something similar. Little did we know. We walked through the city to the other end for almost 30 minutes to reach the place only to find out it was like a huge super market of second hand goods. It had really great, kitsch stuff but there was no energy left in our sick bodies and fevered brains to sift through them. Each of us bought goods worth 25c as souvenirs to remind us of the death walk. By the time we reached the hostel, we both were feeling really really sick. We even got annoyed by each other and quarreled and fought and did not talk to each other till we boarded the bus to Amsterdam later in the day. Talk of ending a perfect day on a sour note!

Before leaving the hostel I bartered books at the hostel bookshelf. I had noticed 'museum of innocence' on the bookshelf the night before and could not contain my excitement. I had been meaning to read that book for a long long time. Meeting a traveler from Turkey the night before and seeing a copy of the book made me believe in 'a book finding the reader' theory even more. So I kept a friend's copy (which I had finished reading) of 'the man who knew infinity' with notes and picked it up. Verdict below!

Sad to report that halfway through this book and I am finding it insufferable. Need some cheer in life. pic.twitter.com/zr35N7oT6N

— Y (@yaymini) August 4, 2016

Anywho, Brugge was a dream come true to me. I really liked it. I wish to return to live there for a few more days. I leave you with a postcard from Brugge.

Beautiful Brugge!

P.S. So the essential part of the post. Costs!
Brussels - Brugge ticket - 20 Euro per head
hostel charges for a day (separate twin sharing room with shared bathrooms) - 59Euro (~30Euro per head)
misc - 20 euro per head
dinner - 15 euro per head
Total - 85 Euro 
Hostel link - http://www.hostellybeer.com/

Belgium

Post 1 about how and why my Europe trip happened

I need to report some drama that happened with us on the journey to Brussels.

So we left for Mumbai on 19th afternoon. I had a super important work meeting on 19th evening where I was supposed to give a presentation (My official vacation was going to start from 20th).  Thanks to incessant rains, our bus got delayed and I realized that taking that work call was going to be impossible. Thankfully someone else could present in my place, so I let go of it (I am a workaholic and this is a BIG deal). Additionally I had caught a slight cold and was generally feeling tired. BTW that's not how you are supposed to feel before embarking on a vacation. So we ate a good dinner with a couple of friends and took some rest at their home, before heading for the airport.
We boarded the flight to Brussels from Mumbai at 4 in the morning. We stopped over in Abu Dhabi for an hour and a half. Some coffee and more rest later, we were on board the flight to Brussels. I asked the flight attendant for a paracetamol tablet (my medicines sadly got checked in) and I went to sleep. So far so good. I woke up only to report uneasiness and extremely high fever to Paglet, who by this time became completely convinced that long distance travel was not my thing (insert laughing smileys here. Actually long distance travel is my thing and being part of interesting, bizarre stories is her thing. You see where this is going ?). Anywho, she then covered me up with as many blankets possible and made me go to sleep again. I was to sleep until my fever broke and I sweated.

Imagine being on a flight. Now imagine the AC and claustrophobic environment of the flight. Now imagine being covered with 2-3 blankets, on top of a leather jacket. And then imagine having your breath on fire because of a fever and shivering like you are north of the wall. Also imagine having a friend by your side to take care of you, even though they are shit scared themselves seeing what's happening to you. I know its too much to imagine.

Actually, now that I am back to my routine life and think about what happened on that flight that day, I can only smile. We have this inside joke where we tease Paglet about how everything that happens in her life is bizarre and has an interesting story going with it. She is well versed in how things 'normally' play out in her life. She even plays on us with us when we joke. But this, I am sure even she did not anticipate. I mean bad weather, unnecessary delays, immigration trouble, emergency landings etc were on our list of things that could go wrong on this journey. One of us falling this sick without any warnings or symptoms was not even on our minds. Which was silly, given how much travel and exertion each of us went through, before starting this trip.

Anywho, there was a very nice cabin manager Sophia (Etihad Airways) from Mumbai, who came to know of my fever and made me some amazing masal chai. Once my fever broke I was able to sit through the rest of the flight. Only to report piercing ear pain when the flight was about to land, due to change in pressure. I wanted to my trip to end and go back home. I kid you not. I even told Paglet that if she were not there, I would have done so or made them do an emergency landing somewhere. 

Brussels airport was swarming with Tomorrowland visitors. Once we had our baggage we made way to a friend's place (J). After lugging around the backpacks and a stroller with my fevered body, I was glad to be at home (even though it was someone else's). I immediately went to sleep. Paglet woke me up, convinced me to take a shower, made me some tea and I went to sleep again. J arrived in few hours and guess what it was her birthday! The poor girl then went to the kitchen and started making Rassam for me. Here's the most amazing part.

A girl from Poland, who lives in Brussels was making Rassam, a south Indian soup, for a girl from Maharashtra India. Amaze-max !?

Only picture memory from Brussels.

I woke up again around 4-5 PM to a bunch of people in the house who had come to celebrate her birthday. Among them drinking champagne, belgian beers and celebrating, I was drinking Rassam like a good girl. I have never felt this much gratitude as I felt that day for J and the Rassam she made. On her birthday. All you south Indian friends, it was the best rassam I have ever had (its not my fevered brain speaking). This world is so wonderful and kind!

Feeling a little energetic and guilty for making J do all the work on her birthday, I tried to be part of the celebrations. The girls were dancing to bollywood music and we exchanged many a stories about our cultures. I went to sleep by 10 PM and got up only after 10+ hours. Paglet and I had left the decision of next day's travel on my condition after waking up. Thankfully I woke up feeling much better and ready for Brugge.

Moral of the story : Paglet and J are the best. Not sure what I would have done without them around.

To be continued..

P.S. Since I stayed at a friend's place and was nursing my sickness, I did not spend a penny in Brussels. No costs incurred, nothing to report.

Europa!

'Europe is always a good idea'.

Let me begin at the beginning.
I have been traveling to the US a lot for work, over the past one year. Paglet moved to Germany last year. Travel planners that she and her husband (N) are, they immediately started asking me to do stopovers in Germany during my trips. I confess I tried 2 times and failed, for one thing or the other. Then we decided to plan my first full fledged Europe trip instead. That's how this all began.

N is really into small, indie music festivals. He was booking early bird tickets for a festival in Italy which was going to take place in July. I said yes without knowing much about the festival and knowing my borrowerd music history. 
My festival tickets got booked in Jan/Feb 2016. 
I booked my tickets to and from Brussels in April. 
My rough itinerary got designed in May. I included visits to some cities where I had really close friends.
I applied for visa in June. 
I received my visa in July.
I dropped a few places from my plan and re-did the itinerary. And I took off for 18 days of vacation in July/August.

check in done and ready to board! also diy #travelgoals tees :D

A lot apart from this happened in this short span. I was getting slammed at work. In July R got married for which Paglet flew to India. We booked her tickets so that we both (paglet and I) could fly from India to Brussels together. All this drama and planning! The month of July really was a whirlwind. We left for Mumbai from where our flight was on July 19th. It was the first time Paglet and I were traveling together. So we were both excited and anxious. Oh what a journey it was and what a blessing it proved to be to have her by my side!


To be continued..

P.S.  I plan to do the entire travel cost post as well. But I understand that you don't want to wait for it. So I'll do the costing at the end of individual post.

To those wondering, I used some of my miles accumulated from the work trips to book the Europe tickets. So here is the international travel cost
Pune - Mumbai return trip by Shivneri - 1000 Rs.
Mumbai - Brussels return trip - 24,500 Rs
Internal Mumbai taxi etc - 400 Rs.

Total - 25,900 Rs.

Listicle

• 6 months being a vegetarian! yay! This was my long term life goal. And I am glad I could embrace it in my early thirties. Slightly inspired by Scott Jurek's lifestyle change and a lot more about trying to have minimal impact on nature and my surroundings. I know this sounds totally absurd, at least in my head, but believe me the more I think about it, the more I know I made the right choice. I have 0 cravings for chicken or any meat items. Initially I used to consciously tell myself to not gravitate towards the shrimps or the fish or the chicken. This was mere habit and did not take me long to change it. Another disclaimer : I am still eating eggs once in a while. Its because its easier to prepare eggs during travels and also easiest source of protein. Slowly I'll get there i.e. being a complete vegetarian. Next step in this journey : Growing my own veggies and food.

• My past few years' reading pattern suggests that I read non fiction just to add variety to my book lists. My personal grudge with non fiction is its boring most of the time. And I pick up a book only if its been recommended by someone I trust highly or getting rave reviews. This year I am trying to change that consciously. I have read 4 non fiction books till now (yay!) and none of them put me to sleep. I enjoyed each one of them. Needless to say they were really informative and at places inspiring. In fact the next 2 books in line are non fiction as well. I have put off some novels I wanted to read on the back burner since April. Talk about change.

• Recently I visited Las Vegas for a conference. I was least excited about being in the city. As expected I did not enjoy it one bit and was glad that I was there for work. This also saved me the trouble of writing a travel post. Although the only touristy advice I have is, do try the unlimited brunch/breakfast options at one of the casinos. We tried the one at Ceasar's palace and loved the variety of food.

• 6 months into this year and I have not registered for any running race. I am doing pretty good on the 'don't be so hard on yourself' pact I made with myself. My routine includes pretty much easy runs. And its unbelievable that I trained and ran 42 kms 5 months ago. Hence I like running. Its so humbling. Do the same thing over and over again. The moment you feel like you have arrived, you are back to being a novice.

Pahadi (himachal) Safarnama (Diaries)

I am not a traveler. I mean I travel in a literal sense a lot i.e. going from one place to other. But I am not much into elaborate vacation planning. I like exploring new places only on the condition that the place is there in front of me to be explored. I'll not move mountains to just be someplace and experience living there. It has taken me quite a while to accept this about myself. I am much into imagining and time traveling through the books I read. 
Having said that, I do have a select list of places I would like to visit, because my favorite books and movies happened there or referenced them. (Kashmir was one such place!)

Most of my close friends are avid travel enthusiasts. They love doing all this planning, data gathering, logistics mapping exercise. And it works for a travel sloth like me :)

So when Paglet shared her India visit plans sometime in December, I was relieved because I knew she and her (travel crazy) husband would plan everything. And we would just have to show up. She planned a 3-5 days trip to Himachal Pradesh in the 2nd week of March and I was in! For logistics reason, I and a friend traveled to Jammu. From Jammu we booked a 13 seater mini bus for the road trip to Kasol Valley in Himachal Pradesh. 9 of us boarded the bus and we started the journey from Jammu. It was a slightly rainy day contrary to our expectations so we decided to keep it slow and have fun along the way.

Our first stop was for breakfast after entering Punjab before Pathankot. We were in the land of aaloo paratha and rajma chawal. So without even bothering about what time of the day it was (it was around 10.30 am), we ordered aloo paratha, rajma chawal, paneer paratha and chai (tea). I had the special neembu kehwa chai. Needless to say everything was yummilicious and fresh. It was a roadside dhaba so I can't recall the name, exact location to be able to recommend it to you. I believe all the dhabas on that route must serve the same tasty food!

Further journey till Palampur was uneventful. We tried playing a very silly but most fun game called ping pong. It didn't take off among some players. So we switched to playing Dumb Charades. Of course my team trumped the other team. Then we took a stop just outside Mandi, at hotel Ranjeet. We were starving and ordered all kinds of food there. From chinese to roti sabji to tea, coffee and varied starters. The staff there served us the most awesome road food I have ever had in a surprisingly short time. Within an hour we were back on the road, our stomachs full and our faces happy. Highly recommended place!
(Complete address- Ranjeet dining star restaurant, Joginder Nagar, Mandi).

Post Palampur, the hills were on our vista. We were longing to be among them. Once we entered Mandi, the first road block happened. Someone had parked their broken vehicle in the middle of the road, driving entire traffic to a standstill. Typical small town experience of no one being in a hurry happened. We with our city life conditioning, immediately got out and started trying to clear the deadlock. After 30 minutes halt, we were back on our way. We were moving even slowly now because of the hilly winding roads and sporadic rains. We took a tea break around 7 PM just outside Kasol to relieve ourselves and freshen up. Because we arrived in Kasol after sunset, the hike to the village where we were supposed to stay for the next 2 days did not happen.

We stayed at a local hotel in Kasol where the staff was nice enough to take dinner order from us at 9 PM. We were famished and ate like there was no tomorrow. We played cards and after some fun and frolic, we fell asleep one by one. I was probably the first one to doze off as usual.

Since we had arrived in Kasol after sunset, I had no idea what lay outside. So I was pleasantly surprised and squealed with delight when I woke up to this view outside my room. ->

beautiful Kasol!

We got ready by 10 am (cos of the super long journey the day before) and by the time decided to trek to the village, it had started raining. Starving (I think there is something in the mountain air, it makes your metabolic rate zoom), we had a very sumptuous breakfast of omlettes, tea, egg-paratha, bread toast, scrambled eggs etc. After having fed ourselves we finally headed out, rain or no rain. Thankfully it had stopped raining but it had become chillier. So mandatory winter shopping break happened. Slowly we made it out of Kasol by crossing a precariously placed bridge over the Parvati river. (I dont have a picture of it).
The Parvati river became our companion as we hiked to Chalal. It was a 40-45 min hike made surreal by river on one side and the mountains on the other. Escapist thoughts of disowning all our city ties to dwell in the woods came to all of us, turn by turn. 

When we reached our cottage in Chalal, there was no electricity in the village. Us city dwellers, eager to charge our smart phones and share the beauty on social media, had no option but to let it be. After settling down for a while and exploring the nearby areas, we started scouting for lunch locations. A village of 30-50 houses offers very few options. The kind people at Cafe Freedom offered to prepare fresh lunch for us (it was 3.30 PM). Only in really small towns/villages can one find such hospitality! We ordered loads of food and topped it off with tea, maggi, sandwiches while waiting for real meal to be ready. We got back to our cottage happy and fulfilled and only after sunset. Then we cozied up in a room, singing songs, making up songs, sharing warmth in the cold! One of the rooms also had a wood chimney so some of us got busy to fire it up to try to make the room even warmer. I called it a night early cos of all the airport lag and chill in the air.

Again, the next morning this is the view I woke up to. There was fresh snow atop the distant hill in this picture. I could spend hours sitting in a chair spellbound by the mountains with a glass of warm black tea in my hand. I had my bit of being vain, as my phone showed some network connectivity.

cottage with the view

After rounds of black ginger tea served at our cottage to us early risers, we decided to head out for breakfast. It felt like an expedition, as on the chilly day, even the villagers had decided to take it slowly. Home after home we inquired who would serve us omelettes, bread, aloo parathas and tea. Ema, singlehandedly accepted to serve the gang of 9 (us). The expedition had filled us with cold and we immediately huddled under the thick blankets Ema provided us. Once the warmth was back the chit chat and banter returned. Suddenly overcome by guilt to not even have asked Ema whether she needed help, a friend and I got out of the cozy room and went into her kitchen. She graciously accepted the help and we started serving everyone. I cannot put into words the feeling of eating a very modest breakfast but still feeling overcome by gratitude and satisfaction. Ema's mother, a sprightly 58 year old, who hardly looked and felt her age, sat amused watching us devour the food.
 
We did not do much during the day later and headed back to Kasol by afternoon. From there we went to Manikaran. Spent some time at the hot water springs and headed for Bhuntar. I and a friend were to catch bus for Delhi from here. I personally was very bummed to be leaving that place. On the other hand I was also proud of myself, because I had not accessed office email even once during these 3 days. The temptation was there, but nature saved me.

Though we did not do a lot of touristy things during this trip, I was glad that I got to meet some friends and do a road trip through parts of Himachal Pradesh. With the logistics and unexpected weather changes all went well. Now bitten by the HP warmth, I wish to visit it often and for longer duration.

What I am grateful for

I hate to make this a bullet list. But I love lists. So I'll make one anyway. Bullets or no bullets.

Wonderful work colleagues. I was working with a person double my age for the past 3 weeks. I am not including the age factor for a comparison but as a perspective. When I told him on Diwali evening (he was already sad for me that I had to be away from family, working instead) that I had to go for 2 dinners and would leave office early, and be not available for 3-4 hours (we were working on something very crucial), he seemed ok. He not only let me be but did not bother me with any emails or texts. Now I know this is supposed to a norm in professional work culture etc etc. But on that Diwali away from home, I just felt his gesture to be super nice and felt immensely grateful for wonderful people around.
On other note, despite having worked in the same domain for such a long time, I did not find him to be complacent. He was meticulous in everything he did, prepared for a customer presentation like a first timer for hours together, making sure the story fell in place, involving me in all discussions and decisions. I guess learning never ceases.
He is also an accomplished photographer with 47 years of photography work behind him. He takes photography classes in spare time and has even had his work exhibited, and without even doing a humble brag. 

Friends who remember little things about you or your life and dont forget to remind you :) I love you A and R and what would I do without you!

Movie gems like 'me and earl and the dying girl' on long haul, never ending flights. Some of the best writing and direction seen for a coming of age drama. Also, how I miss reading what Ebert uncle would have written about this movie.

Second chances life gives with some people. Sometimes, people are not the email conversations you have with them. When you meet the 'real' people you realize there is no dearth of niceness around. I find this especially reassuring given the troubled times we are in, when its easier to judge someone than getting to know the real person.

Small world

I am wary of cliches. I love some of them, but some of them I really really dont like. And for some I have not made up my mind yet. 'The world is small' is one of those such things, which happens to other people. I always marvel at stories told by people around me about how they found someone after so many years and how it felt wonderful. Personally I feel cramped by the idea of a small world, where everyone knows everyone through someone. I like the idea of a connected world, but I like my space as well. I mean I am fine without the need of knowing everyone. Am I making any sense ?

So during my recent travels I went to a friend's wedding in Austin. During a friends and family get together I overheard an uncle sitting across from me talking about my hometown. Of course I got interested and when chance came upon, told him that I was also from the same city. One thing led to another and soon we figured out that the said uncle and I went to the same school. Separated by a span of 25 years. Isnt that cool! Then we started talking about school experiences and teachers. To everyone's amazement we shared the same teachers! 2-3 to be specific, but the teachers who had just joined school were on the brink of retirement when I graduated high school. This story started making the rounds in the entire gathering and soon we were excitedly telling everyone how cool this was! 
I somehow felt more at ease and comfort for the next 2 days of the wedding. I also met them again in California where they actually lived and I was visiting for work. They were super nice and treated me with great home food and another gathering of people of my hometown. I liked experiencing this cliche of a small world. Travel does open you up to things you thought you were not prepared for. The joy of meeting someone 25 years your senior and still talk about some of your favorite growing up moments is one such thing!

Kashmir

Travelling to Kashmir has been one of my childhood dreams. It came true in an unexpected fashion last week.
After the quite epic and never ending #anshitanukulkishaadi in Jammu, we headed to Kashmir. The wedding and kashmir culture merits a super long post of its own. And I think the beauty of kashmir and its description is best left for personal experience. So I'll write about touristy stuff and general do's, dont's, scams to be avoided and things to be covered. This is going to be a long list.

1. Always check weather before entering the valley. We were well equipped with winter jackets, caps, gloves, boots, pairs of socks to tackle the untimely and delayed snowfall. 

2. If possible stay in Srinagar and travel to and forth. Gulmarg is an hour's drive away and Pahalgam is 2-2.5 hours drive away. Sonmarg is 3 hours away. So one day trips are possible to all major touristy spots. Of course, if the weather permits and you want to do elaborate hikes at pahalgam and enjoy skiing at gulmarg then makes more sense to stay overnight.

driving around dal

3. If staying in Srinagar, try to stay around the scenic drive around Dal lake. We set camp 5 minutes drive away from Dal. So everyday when we headed out, we would get to witness life around Dal. Also gives you a chance to take a good run, if you are a runner i.e.

4. I found food particularly cheap in Srinagar. Krishna dhaba offers good vegetarian options. Ahdoo's and Mughal Darbar are must try for non vegetarians. And please don't eat chicken in Kashmir. Mutton is the real deal!
Food is comparatively expensive at gulmarg, where the altitude and tourist destination tag, justify the rip off. For eg. a plate of maggi costs 70 rs at gulmarg.

maggi and chai!

5. At gulmarg, you get winter jackets and snow boots on rent. Its a good idea to take these if you plan to play in the snow. This way your winter clothes remain dry and safe. Rental price is 250-300 Rs. per person depending on how much you can bargain. Buy the extra pair of snow proof hand gloves if you are not carrying them. These will come in handy at other destinations as well. Don't buy sunglasses, carry your own.

6. Once at Gulmarg base, you may have to travel by a different vehicle, owing to snow covered roads and safety issues. We took a sumo for 1500 Rs. for to and fro ride and the vehicle stayed at the base of phase 1 for the entire day.

7. We found the sledge rides at the base of phase 1 to be a scam. We took 2 sledges and later figured out that the distance to the gondola station could have been walked easily. Unless you have senior citizens with you, I suggest NO-NO to sledges. If at all you take one, then bargain as if your life depends on it.

8. Same applies for a tourist guide. Don't take one if possible. And if at all you take one, bargain! 

9. If you are not taking a tourist guide then buy your own gondola tickets to phase 1. These cost 600 Rs. per person. If there is heavy snow around, then a visit to only Phase 1 is worth the money. If you are into advanced skiing then makes sense to visit Phase 2 as well (ticket is additional 800 Rs.). We visited only Phase 1 and were quite happy. 

10. If you are walking your way around Gulmarg, then don't miss the walk through the golf course.

the romantic in me could not get enough of all this!

11. Route to Pahalgam merges and separates to the route to Jammu from Srinagar. So make sure your driver has fair ideas of security checks. 

12. Eat at roadside dhabas on the way to Pahalgam. Once you have crossed Anantnag, things get super exciting in the form of a scenic drive. So having a meal by the road side with the lidder river flowing alongside makes for quite an adventure. 

13. Make sure you have checked which points are open and which are closed before heading to Pahalgam. Saves disappointment once there. Also if you are staying at Pahalgam, don't miss the hike to Tuliyan lake. We did not do it because of bad weather, but its supposed to be extremely amazing.

14. In Pahalgam as well, do not spend on guide. Do spend on winter boots if its snowing. We spent 30 Rs. per person.

15. You have to leave your vehicle at Pahalgam taxi stand to reach any point around. You can take ponies to Aru valley from there or another car to Betaab valley. The prices are standard according to taxi stand union. So no bargaining here for taxis. There are few temples on the way which are worth a visit, owing to Pahalgam being one of the start points of Amarnath Yatra.

16. In Srinagar there are 8-10 major attractions. If you can, then miss one of the gardens and include coffee drinking experience atop a hillside cafe instead. I know cliched but worth the time!

17. Keep aside 4-5 hours in Srinagar for shopping at Lal Chowk. Paper mache, wood carvings to stoals and shawls, one cannot say no to anything!

18. The Srinagar airport has a lot of security checks, so leave for the airport 3 hours in advance. Usually there's a jam outside the airport, so would save you a lot of anxiety. Also, post all security checks one has to identify baggage personally. Don't forget to do this!

These are the *only* tips I have from my experience. The culture and people of Kashmir are warm and hospitable. Learn a word or two of Kashmiri from them :) Ending this post with the surreal shot of Betaab Valley, Pahalgam.

'In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.' - Albert Camus

Kerala K(ch)ronicle

We had Malyalam speaking neighbors for the longest period. Brother and I practically grew up with V and V, eating generous amount of dosa and coconut chutney. V and V would always go on summer vacations to their ancestral गांव (village) in Kerala. It was always a mystery for us owing to our poor pronunciations. I have grown up thinking about their गांव and what it must be like.

Recently a Keralite friend invited us to his wedding in his ancestral village. The idea of visiting Kerala suddenly got all these childhood memories to the fore. The grown up in me wanted to see what it must feel like. One of my most fun friends (who used to blog here: http://adducelebrity.blogspot.in/) and his wife also joined in and made the planning phase extremely smooth.

How to plan a trip with addu and his wife: book the to and from tickets. Leave the rest of the planning for runtime execution.

We reached Cochin (Kochi/ernakulam) airport in the afternoon and immediately started scouting for our options to travel to Alleppey (allepuzha). 
Tip 1: Reaching Alleppey from Cochin is easiest from the airport as there are KSRTC shuttles to Vytilla from where Alleppey buses are frequent.

image courtesy: google

We took this special ride to Alleppey from Cochin airport though ->
Before that we also ate amazing butter dosas at the airport hotel at Cochin airport. The south Indian food lover in me was in paradise.

After a 2 hour road journey to Alleppey on the last seats of our heavenly ride and drenched in sweat, we just wanted to reach our homestay. 
Tip 2: Wear and carry lots of cotton clothes else the humidity will make sure you have multiple baths in a day.

The great auto experience started in Alleppey when the autowala charged us 30 rupees for a distance worth 30 rupees, without meter! If you have lived in Maharashtra long enough you know what I mean. Our homestay was a cozy little home converted in a homestay and hotel. (tripadvisor link here: http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g608471-d1015993-r193761496-Snehadhara_Homestay-Alappuzha_Kerala.html)

Salim uncle and Mini aunty (the owners) took really good care of us, so it never felt like this was our first trip to Kerala/Alleppey. Mini aunty even churned out delish lemon rice at last minute notice for our dinner. They guided us about local sightseeing and also helped us book a shikara boat for the backwaters tour next day.

happiness is homemade food in distant land!

Touring the backwaters can be done in 2 ways: the popular houseboat where you book it for an entire day i.e. 11 am to 5 pm. Or shikara which will take you along the same route on a per hour charge basis for 4 hours.
Since we were constrained by time we took the second option and hopped into our boats at 10 am the next day. This was after a homemade wholesome breakfast of dosa-chutney-sambaar, filter coffee and juice.

Our tour started from the canals of Allepuzha and extended to nearby villages in a 24 km radius. We also stopped for a traditional kaari fish keralaite lunch at a village. The adventure of this village life connected only by these water bodies and boats for transport thrilled me. I started plotting a fun life around these villages when it suddenly dawned on me, how easier it is to be a tourist and imagine all exotic things about village life and forget the mundane. I don't really like this 'lets stay grounded to reality' side of mine.
Nonetheless the backwaters provided some spectacular glimpses of nature which need to be experienced first hand. 

beautiful kerala backwaters!

After this fulfilling day we left for Calicut/Kzhikode. The train network throughout Kerala is pretty good and ends up being the best option for internal travel. A 6 hour train journey later we were in Kozhikode where the autowalas were so honest that we did not spend an extra dime than what the distance demanded. I felt like I was in rikshaw heaven.

Calicut/Kozhikode is famous for its handloom shops, so some saree shopping for the mother happened. There are lots of temples in Calicut but our temple run ended after visiting the thali temple as my friends 'the couple' were denied access because they were wearing jeans and not mundu (for guys)/ traditional clothes. 

Tip 3: Wear Indian ethnic wear while visiting temples.

We also visited the 80 years old Paragon hotel in Calicut for lunch where the non veg food is a must try! 

The 40 year old Kumari banana chips shop is also a must visit for buying the much loved south indian snack.

We left Calicut the next day to reach the ancestral village of our friend. A hectic bus ride from Calicut to Vadakara later we finally arrived here ->

nostalgic much?

As the wedding was next day we eventually hit the sack, despite the never ending gossip/catching up. Keralaite weddings are a low key affair with minimal fuss. The baraat (wedding procession) left the guy's town and arrived the girl's, and the wedding was over in 2 hours. Yes 2 hours! Including all the rituals and food.

After bidding our farewells we hit Kannur station for our return journey the same day.

Without any micro planning or preplanning even, this trip turned out to be fun and an adventure.

I only hope Kerala remains as grounded and beautiful as it appeared. The simplicity* and the honest demeanor of Kerala will remain with me is what I would like to believe.

* I know the every family has one person in foreign land angle

Malvani love

The moment our tavera (a chevrolet multi purpose vehicle) reached the homestay in Malvan at 3 am, all of us knew this was going to be a special road trip. A, R and I had gone crazy planning a road trip over the past 2 months. Sometimes the distance was the problem, sometimes the mode of transport, sometimes the location itself or sometimes non availability of tickets. When we finally did decide to do a roadtrip to Konkan (Malvan, Sindhudurg to be specific) we thought only 3 of us would make it boring. We asked a lot of people to join and finally with T and P joining the party it became an exclusive 'girls trip'. So cliches apart the journey from Pune to Malvan was a first time adventure for most of us. No one including the driver had any clue about the route from Kolhapur onward. So GPS tracking and consulting locals/acquaintances from kolhapur later we decided to take the Karul ghaat which goes via Gagan Bawda as that route had sufficient night traffic. In the middle of the ghaat the driver also told us to keep our windows closed, as there might be some robbery scene. Well as if not knowing the route well and traveling in the middle of the night was not adventure enough! A super weird wrong turn later, where a tourist bus also followed us, we got a call from our homestay owner (at 2 in the night) asking about our whereabouts. By this time all of us were wide awake hoping to make it to a bed in an hour. Another hour long drive later we arrived at Malvan, where our driver (Sarfaraz bhaiyya) confessed that we had driven him crazy with the GPS and our navigation skills etc etc.  

the aflatoon and pretty amazing Sarfaraz bhaiyya!

Because the journey had become so tiring and exhausting we immediately boarded the big dorm rooms we had booked. Some lizard and giant spider spotting later sleep was a matter of seconds. 
The day 1 plan was to get done with Scuba diving near Sindhudurg fort in the first half of the day. We left home as early as 9 am and headed to the bay where boats to Sindhudurg could be boarded. Along with 2 more families we hopped onto a boat with scuba instructors and crew. Turn by turn we all took to the 30-40 feet water with our instructors and had an amazing time being an explorer of the sea.

P with her share of sea life

Personally I was a bit scared as I started off, but the feeling of being inside water suited me well and then there was no turning back. It was a great beginner experience for a cost of 1500 Rs. per head. We also got under water videos of each of us for some extra cost which made the memory lasting.

We then headed to Sindhudurg fort which still stands majestic and strong despite the years. Its one of the few water fortresses that Shivaji Maharaj constructed and added to his arsenal. The vistas of the Arabian sea from the fort walls are quite something. I was taken by the scenery around.

the ageless fortress of Sindhudurg

surmai fry. yumness!

We then headed to have our first lunch in Malvan at a local joint 'only fish' recommended by our homestay owner. A lot of waiting later ( its a small place, so make sure to give your orders an hour before you are
hungry) our delish food arrived. Malvani cuisine is a treat for the stomach. My personal choice was the fresh sea food served with typical malvani curries and solkadi rich in coconut milk. 

Some rest later we moved to Tarkarli beach which is 7 km from Malvan to watch sunset and relax which we had forgotten was on the agenda. So much constant activity later just sitting on the beach was a respite. It was one of the cleanest konkan beaches I have visited. The tarkarli beach also houses resorts along the shoreline. Its a perfectly peaceful getaway from the routine lives of us city dwellers.

sometimes beauty is captured by staring into thin air

With lots of ifs and buts later, Sarfaraz bhaiyya got ready to take us to Goa on day 2. The distance from Malvan to Goa is hardly 40-50 km. We took the 'Sagari Mahamarg' SH4 via Vengurla. Its a very rustic and scenic drive where in the direction sense of the locals every road goes 'straight' despite the turns and twists. Quite interesting and profound I believe. 

essentially straight roads

We spent some time at the surprisingly less crowded Harmal beach, near Arambol in Goa. We then headed to Baga beach for an afternoon of lazying around and lounging in the sun. Electric cats at Baga (other branch is in Calangute) is the best and highly recommended place for food. It was my second time with them and I totally endorse their food. Even Baga beach was not that crowded which made moving around easy and hassle free. We returned to Malvan in the evening to wrap things up.

some sun and some shisha

On day 3 we went to Devbagh which is 12 km from Malvan. It has the sangam (confluence) of Karli river and Arabian sea. The entire area is surrounded by peaceful and serene natural beauty. The touristy things to do here consist of dolphin spotting, seagull island, tsunami island (for watersports and parasailing), sangam point. We sailed onto a boat which took us deep in the sea to experience all these beauties. When the motor had stopped and we were just sailing in sea water was the most amazing moment of the trip for me. It had captured the essence of all the movement in life. The fleeting peace that I experienced in that moment would stay with me for a long time.

Surreal beauty