A list..

Of unfinished/unstarted/left in random state projects. Because Upasna who I am constantly in awe of wrote one with the most apt illustration.

1. Books - 9 physical books have piled up on my to read list. I don't know how/when I am going to arrive at them.

2. Photo memory project - I am not big on clicking pictures using phone or any other device. Recently with the addition of a new member to our family i.e. Baby M, I want to document picture memories. I have made a start on this project, but but but..

3. Website - This year my blog completes 10 years! Hence I want to convert into a digital real estate owner. Initial research is in, but rest of the pieces of the puzzle remain to be arranged.

4. Alarm clock - This is not a project per say, but a personal move away from smart phone alarm clock, I have been meaning to do. Call it laziness or sheer unwillingness to take time out of my schedule, I have been unable to buy one! I don't know what will happen to me. 

5. Home lighting project - I live in a rented apartment, but I have been wanting to change the lighting for quite some time. I have not found the time to do any research in this regard to even get started :(

6. Bullet journal - I skipped #bujo for 15 days of February - excuse travel and 15 days of March - excuse work.

7. Medal hanger - My running medals deserve a space of their own. I might just scrap this project and buy a hanger off amazon. #GettingThingsDone

8. Pocket reads - I have more than 100 unread links/articles in my pocket feed. I am a stickler for 0 inbox and that numbers keeps on gnawing at me. I know sane advice is to just delete the app and live a peaceful life. But I really want to read the stuff I have saved over months (I even remember what I have saved over time). I want to chalk out a project to attend to this. Recently Raja Sen tweeted that he allotted 2 hours every Saturday every week to devour the pocket feed. I think I'll take inspiration from him.

9. Blog posts update - 3 posts from the Europe trip, 2 from the Himalayan trek trip and countless other drafts remain untouched.

I don't want to list anything more because this is making me feel like a loser! But sharing this also makes me keep things in perspective. For eg. I really need to start utilizing my weekends more productively.

where I think I may need lessons in management

* You know that over drive when your brain is racing through tasks one after the other, so much that you are amazed that how many thoughts your brain can produce and switch context equally well. No not exactly that this is happening with me. But I am at stage one where busy-ness is worrying me and I want to be able to do the context switching smoothly. Alas. But as I was talking to my shrink friend and accepted that since childhood I have been groomed to set stupid expectations for myself and push myself. So yes even if that's true, its always a struggle getting there. There = where need to push myself is lower than the desired result.
Anywho, I have rambled. A LOT.

* Also happening a lot these days, especially when I struggle at work is this ->

Source: marie-lle.com via Tanvii on Pinterest

* When I see people around me swim in an abyss of cliched prejudices, I FEEL anger. It exasperates me. Thankfully I have work to channel it. And also a blog where I can talk to empty spaces. Hmmm.
I pray for open minds. I really do. Heartfelt prayer.

* Well, if its not public then few days back I wanted to marry Kiran Nagarkar. I now want to marry Haruki Murakami. May be I can share time with these crazy minds ? 2-3 months at a time ? I am sure we will work something out. 
Reading 1Q84 has been the best reward given to me/best thing that has happened to me in July-August. It is extremely difficult to try to review a murakami book. But if you want something interesting, thrilling, magical to read then well you have one pick!

* Well, I have already lost a lot of thought threads I had going on inside my mind. And now I am suddenly at a loss of words. But anyway, as I said post some self pushing I will be back at point one and will have lots to write about.

~nightflier

vegetables, groceries and the familiarity

Since I got domesticated (read started living on my own, cooking on my own) buying vegetables/groceries has been an integral part of life.


As a kid aai won't normally take us. With those bags to carry and my love to sit/stand in the front of the scooter who would take me! (on a totally random note, baba had an LML vespa and it had more flat room to stand comfortably. That was one big reason why I did not like bajaj scooters! :D) I make it sound bad though ;) For most of the part I never liked going to vegetable markets because


1. There would be lots of puddles owing to water generously thrown over and around vegetables to keep (make them look) fresh and I had a knack for stepping into them. Clumsy much ?
2. Aai had fixed vendors selling her type of vegetables (I will come back to this) and I never liked made to walk a lot inside the market.
3. There would be lots of known faces in the crowd. *not much of a like*


Plus instead staying at home and getting to watch an episode of Shrimaan Shrimati/all the best (depending on if it was tuesday or friday) was too tempting and the numerous fights that would ensue between me and bro and then later partners in crime agreement if asked by aai-baba what we did for that 1 hour. Filmy but quite heart warming :)


Anywho, so I am back to the routine for past few months. And I realize (coming back to 2) since I am prone to associations, I have marked my vegetable vendors. Every time I visit the same thela (wooden cart) and buy my routine stuff. The thing is its same for grocery stores as well. I *avoid* (unless I am cash ridden) super markets. Not because the uncle at the kirana (why is it called kirana?) shop will give me any discount. In Chicago I used to make sure to go to the same check out lady at Jewel osco (ok sometimes this hot dude on whom I and roomie had a massive collective crush). And if Chicago's charming weather allowed we would go to china town where they had fresh farmer's market every week just for the hand picking vegetables and haggling part. 
May be its because faces seem familiar. Its like people know me. Its a in general feel good factor of my any random day. This boring monotony and the familiarity. (its a very nice song so please click :P) Fun of this fact is I am equally 'I am so bored of the routine, I want to run away to dream land *Calvin* types ' on some days. That's how balance happens and I survive. May be.


~nightflier


P.S. No system has been allocated to me at work. So this day at new work has been spent in reading tech crunch, running off to pregnant friend's dohale jevan function (baby shower) during lunch break, making sure to take snaps of friend with all the decorations adorning her (traditions and customs even though cute, at times can be quite embarrassing and awkward) and day dreaming about what subji to make in the evening. Hence the ramble.

life and its offerings

* What's with Indian television ? Initially it was alright. But n years after that initial moment we are still churning out soap after soap which capitalize on female characters being victims of some evil skewed plot of the in-laws. Ekta started it, everyone else followed and we still oblige. Such a waste. Woman/man kind all over the world, I urge you to abandon them. Otherwise I will judge you. Dhamki nahi hai sachchi!

* What's with asking others' kids really personal questions like, 'beta haven't you searched someone for yourself? settle down like our *munnu* soon'

First polite reaction - smile and umm hmm

Second polite reaction - YAWN

Third polite reaction - rant on blog whose existence is non existent for you.

:-|

* I am getting renewed lessons in harry potter. Having made brother start the series, and making him quiz me about random stuff most of which I don't remember now, is proving to be fun. Oh and he is hooked. As I write this he is reading the last few pages of the first book. Oddly I feel very proud! :-)

* I miss snow. The pristine white-ness all around. The random flight of the snow flakes as they make way to the ground. A long chilling walk in the cold. Winter here is over. The temperatures are already rising. After that short spell of winter, no use of all those comforters/sweaters/jackets, no desire to drink hot coffee/chocolate (bournvita) or even tea. Weather gods' mood swings are also having short shelf life these days. Sigh.


* I just watched Hachiko. I feel so full of love and emotions right now! Hachi!!! You made my rather dull Sunday. I wish to make a dog a part of my life soon.

* I am going through a I can't relate with you anymore phase. Happened quite a few times. I also ranted to Ketaki about it. And I can't seem to get it out of my head. Sometimes I have this compulsive need to be the perfect friend or at least try to be. Well, I have a crazy scheme, I will ask all my friends to start writing blogs. Not to put out personal stuff on public forums (the way they see blogging. ugh.) but to give options to express themselves, make effort to get out of the routine and write stuff down to reflect. We all have stuff over which we obsess, why not put it online where your friends can read it objectively, give opinions if needed and make the sharing easy and thus ease the pressure on the friendship ? 

I just re-read the above paragraph and I feel so shallow suddenly. I already have my rant/express myself/give opinions space. That does not mean I should expect others to do the same and act all less burdened in face to face meetings. 

Sheesh. When I put things into perspective, growing up does not look fun anymore. :-(

Time to take out the magic wand. May be.

~nightflier

P.S. The post title was a subtle way to put it this way - most of this post was a rant.

the bucket list

This is not a timed list as in I don't expect to mark a check against all of these by the end of the year. I just wish to work towards them. The joy of preparation and anticipation is more than achievement, I say :)


* Read a lot of marathi books. At least more than 2010, which was zilch.
* Start yoga/badminton. I swam a little in the sea in Goa and felt really good. But swimming still makes me apprehensive about the skin issues. Let's hope I can risk it a little this year, just to stay fitter.
* Write more. Meaningful stuff to be precise :D
* Learn to appreciate genuine praise garnered over me more graciously. Sometimes a simple thank you can suffice, no ? Without any explanations!
* Cook more. Try new stuff more often.
* Not lose touch with a lot of wonderful people I have distanced from (physically, owing to the big move from amreeka to India)
* Be less self judgmental and lesser so about friends. And be more compassionate in general.
* Consciously avoid annoying, not genuine people. Also keep safe distance from bitchy people. Also not give a shit about people who expect a lot. I am no mind reader, so if you cannot share/discuss your problems with me, I am going to believe everything is all right. If you choose to keep a grudge, your choice!


And lastly,
* Trust more. Believe more. Share more. Laugh more. Live life.


~nightflier

More from India!

Disclaimer : These are random observations. Indian friends living away/abroad (you know who you are) kindly do not feel homesick or jealous :D


* Since coming back I am using a Bsnl (bharat sanchar nigam limited - India's at&t ?) sim card. Well its aai's as I have been too lazy to get myself a brand new number. The thing is one has so much choice here, that I feel the need to do some research which is ongoing for the past month now. And since I am the great Indian consumer the only private service which impresses me is Vodafone. Their new ads are so senti and touching. Great advertising team they have!  The other open options are, as Vodafone I have heard have bad customer service, Idea as baba and bro use it and Airtel as I think they have good internet packages. Btw new in the market is Docomo (tata) and Uninor (some Norwegian giant), but I hardly feel like going for something brand new this time around.
Anyways, I ramble and digress. So BSNL sends these free messages which has numbers of CBI (central bureau of investigation) and ACB (anti corruption bureau) using which you can report crimes by public/government servants anonymously. Super liked it! Such a subtle way of carrying out system cleansing. I hope people participate. More power to everyone!


* We have such long wait-lists for vehicles in here. To buy a simple bike like Activa baba has now waited for more than 2 months. And the wait keeps on increasing owing to various festivals. Wonder how the demand-supply mapping takes place inside the companies ? I have heard its worse for 4 wheelers. Sometimes the wait can be more than 6 months. My god! I toh will drop the idea only :P


* These days I have a feeling that in some parallel universe life for the alternate me is going at the most superlative degree one can find for speed. Then what can be the reason that time doesn't seem to move forward here in this universe for me ? :-|
Dear alternate me in parallel universe please slow down! Or let's exchange positions if possible. That would be more convenient :P


* So much free time has made me a compulsive reader. I had no idea that my mailbox had so much of stacked treasure in the form of IEEE magazines and conference papers. Yeah! Yeah! call me names, but just reading novels and fiction can be pretty boring.


* And one of my closest and oldest (the relationship's age wise duh!) friend gets married next month. It was maha exciting to meet her parents (Oh we are from the same city!) and get all the details from aunty! My first and foremost task is to try to get as many friends as possible for the wedding. At which I am doing pretty fine I think. Next tasks aunty said will start after Diwali. Can't wait!
Normally weddings give me creeps. But this one isn't. Guess I have grown up :D


~nightflier