Of Cassini, broken hearts and roses blooming in my borrowed garden

I am looking at the final descent of the Cassini spacecraft into Saturn's atmosphere. As Cassini dares into the uncharted territory, I well up. There is something deeply moving and romantic about the images. I wonder what all the astronomer's in the world must be feeling now. Wonder, excitement, awe of what awaits? As the final moments of Cassini's life reach earth, we all wait. Wonder for the unknown. Gratefulness for the gone. The one's who are left behind.

My heart is trying to find meaning in this unknown. The images are eerily incredible. They mend something inside me. Something heals. Not that things necessarily need mending. But I'll take this catharsis over the rootlessness I tend to feel from time to time. Belong.

Talking of which, I got to be the new caretaker of the mini garden that came with this apartment. The plants lived. Well beyond my own surprise and wonder. Things could not have been better. But the household help, loves annoying me. She broke an entire and ONLY bark of the rose plant, because it was growing aimlessly and had become difficult to not bump into. Keeping all my composure, I confronted her the next day, pretending to work from home. She said 'didi, see it will grow back again.' Yes, but I had managed to keep it alive for so long, why the heck did you have to do what you did! In this harsh summer. Of course, in front of her I merely agreed and went back to pretend mode.

I now started watering the plants without even looking at them. And one day groggy eyed I woke up to this

Why could I not see this for so long? Break, re-grow, move on.

In other news, SHE broke/cut off branches of 3 other plants. They are learning to re-grow. I have succumbed to the mighty Surekha Tai's wisdom.

Exit..

One chapter closes

Another opens

A break of sorts in between happens.

You brace the goodbyes

You long for the welcome

A break of sorts in between happens.

You sing a new tune

You lament a few notes

A break of sorts in between happens.

You brave the tears

You crave some smiles

A break of sorts in between happens.

Of known milestones

And unknown destinations

A break of sorts in between happens.

You close a door, to be reopened later

Another door awaits, to be opened sooner

A break of sorts in between happens.

Another job. Another change. I am getting good at this maybe.

Saying byes does not seem burdensome now.

Also, I have sent individual notes/mails to people who were part of life here, which strangely gives a sense of calm.

I feel somehow ready to take another plunge :D Of course after a break ;)

~nightflier

most of it is magic

Most of any kind of learning is magic. According to me. You read stuff, scribble it down, try to remember it by associating with random/routine phenomena, speak it out aloud in your head or otherwise.


And then the hiragana you write down everyday, starts making sense. 
It feels wondrous to me. How those random strokes mean 'something'. 

being a show-off :D

And this also makes me think that as a child, learning to write in any language must have felt so *Awesome*! Oh and all my illusions of great handwriting got auto shattered. Hiragana is artistic. Which means I am to have a tough time to reach that 'great handwriting' level. Nevertheless in the age of computing, writing in a 3 line notebook with a pencil, is hugely cathartic. Dont take it too seriously, but I feel wonderful after having written the entire alphabets in a single go, every morning. 


Of course, one can write means, one can read too. Now. It's just that the reading is laborious and halting. I know I will get to the fluency. It's all about practice after all. No ?


Speaking. Ah. The words cloud inside my head. Waiting to rain. Sometimes a line or two sprouts which makes sense. Sometimes, its just mumbling. The Sensei (teacher) is kinder. She immediately fills up for me (us in a group). She gives a 5 star (chocolate) too, if you excel in conversations. Excel here is strictly subjective. If there is just one group performing, of course you win. Yay!


I am the brightest kid in the other sensei's (teacher) session, who enlightens us on the cultural aspects and history of the place. We talk about Samurai and ninja warriors, the food, the films and modern history. Occasionally we watch movies/video clips too. In dimmed light. We shed tears on the nuclear bombing affair. We talk about grave of the fireflies and the phoenix. We start respecting people even more.


Nowadays I write emails in romaji to the sensei, with my doubts. Pretty soon I will be able to read too. And then may be a real Japanese book will happen. For now, I will stick to cartoons. They always have subtitles. #win


~nightflier

change

So on this rather dull day, I would rather be off on a boat/yacht sailing somewhere preferably in chilly weather sipping coffee, bundled up in my comforter, reading book, cooking when I felt hungry and moving on.

Alas.. I am in office breaking rules. (One is not supposed to access personal sites from work).

So anywho, thbpth (that's :P in Calvin lore) to sys admin people. I will live my rather warm day-dream through a blog template change :)

~nightflier

P.S. Krishna here (a grad school friend) used to change his website template almost everyday. I am not exaggerating!! There used to be at least one template change every 2 days. We would always tease him saying he is going insane :D
Now on this rather bore of a day I seem to appreciate his need for change. Every day.

The 7th window !!

I just finished installing windows 7 on my lappy. Yay !! And this is my first post from it. Louder yay !!

Microsoft people have been generous enough by giving an year free of the 7th window. (I don't get paid for reporting bugs. Yet!). Thanks to the very tiny partition of 45 GB I made on the hard drive, I will be using it mostly for web browsing and silly stuff. So much for change!!

Anyways, its definitely faster and cooler. But the graphics look more or less the same, unless you are very picky about how your task bar looks. I can't say much though. Honestly!

On an altogether different note, I raise a toast to the most special couple (brangelina, not you. Not this time :P) in my life! Here's to 30 years of togetherness, bonding and companionship.
I am very sure that, I will look up to you guys for anything in a relationship. 

Have a good one! :)

cheers,
~nightflier