Pursuit of happy-ness

Life isn't always easy. Specially when you grow up and are constantly reminded how your decisions will affect the coming days and shape them. In all the chaos of what job to take up, whom to love, whom to marry, where to live, where to settle down, I think happy-ness always takes a back seat. As the theory of cognitive dissonance says we program ourselves to believe that if you do a certain somethings you will definitely achieve that state.


But what about the child playing by the sea shore and his sense of achievement in finding the weirdest shaped pebbles ? What about the sense of wonder ? What about that joy ?


I think you can either always follow your heart and be happy with the consequences. Or follow the norms as defined by someone else and hope to be happy, as everyone around you seems to be so. But are they ? I see a lot of people struggling to make a bright future at the cost of their present. A lot of people relocating against their wishes, taking up jobs which they would have never imagined themselves doing, marrying someone just because they have no other option, leading an unhappy life just because it would be unwise to do otherwise.
In today's world of economic downturns and recession, has following one's heart, taking decisions because that's what you would love to do or like to be, become such a big risk ? You rather choose the safe options or do what you think will make you happy ? 


For someone who has always believed fooling oneself to do something that you dont like, is the biggest betrayal of any kind, life seems to be at crossroads.


Time shall definitely tell.


~nightflier

the lazy evening food!

Nope its not maggi. Bummer ?


It is the typical Maharahtrian pithla! When you trudge home every evening with that 5 kg back pack of yours and feel like eating something hot, tasty, filling, pithla comes in handy! Takes hardly 15-20 mins of time and is extremely delicious (if made the right way i.e.).


And since cooking has to be intuitive, I will give a little improvised and healthier recipe. Hope you like it.


Ingredients : 
gram flour (besan) - 3-4 table spoons (for 2 people)
pepper (green chilli) - 1-2 (depending on your spicy-ness quotient) - finely chopped
garlic cloves - 4-5 (the more the better) - finely chopped
curry leaves - 5-6 (this is a must!)
turmeric powder
cumin seeds
mustard seeds
oil (the more the better)
hing (asafoetida) - a pinch
salt 
spinach, cilantro - according to liking


Preparation :
Mix the gram flour, a pinch of turmeric powder and a little salt into a paste. This should not be very thick but liquidy. In a kadai (frying pan) heat oil to an optimum temperature (when the cumin seeds begin to pop i.e.). Add mustard seeds, hing, curry leaves and stir. Add garlic and once its a little brownish add green chilli. Once the chillies are a bit crispy, add a pinch of turmeric and then add the gram flour liquid (/paste) to the pan. Mix thoroughly. Make sure all the gram flour bubbles have been popped (I find it extremely fun to pop them :D)
Let this cook on low heat for 5-10 mins. Add salt and then add the spinach and cilantro. Din't I say it would be healthy ? The spinach just made it so!
Eat piping hot with rice. Any kind of papad add 5 more stars to your already yummy meal.


The attached picture is mutinous. But the end result is supremely delicious, palatable and filling! 

Hope you enjoy.


~nightflier

Cross checking

Was reading this and found it extremely fun!
So shamelessly tagged myself. My brain is waise bhi hibernating. Why not something fun to wake it up ;)

1. Graduated high school.
2. Smoked a cigarette. (I don't think hukka is counted)
3. Got so drunk you passed out. 
4. Rode every ride at an amusement park. (Whatever is possible in a single day! 6 flags of great America and our very own Essel World)
5. Collected something stupid. (Still do. Movie tickets!)
6. Gone to a rock concert. (Indian Ocean. They are more of a fusion band than rock though. So don't know if I should count this one.)
7. Helped someone.
8. Gone fishing.
9. Watched four movies in one night. (Night does become day though :-|)
10. Lied to someone. (How do you expect me to pull pranks on people then ?)
11. Snorted cocaine.
12. Smoked weed.
13. Failed a subject. (No :-()
14. Been in a car accident. (Of course with someone else driving)
15. Been in a tornado.
16. Watched someone die. (I saw a road accident once in which the victim did not wake up for quite a long time. I hope that he woke up later after hospital treatment.)
17. Been to a funeral.
18. Burned yourself. (Not in a dangerous way)
19. Run a marathon. (Yes! In Infy! But I walked a huge part of it to give a friend (who was going to give up) some company.)
20. Cried yourself to sleep.
21. Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day. (Airplane ticket. And how can I forget the camera!)
22. Flown on an aeroplane. 
23. Cheated on someone. (I am sorry Bruno.)
24. Been cheated on.
25. Written a 10 page letter.
26. Gone skiing.
27. Been sailing.
28. Cut yourself. (The usual kitchen encounters)
29. Had a best friend.
30. Lost someone you loved.
31. Got into trouble for something you didn't do.
32. Stolen a book from the library. (Stealing gives me creeps! I have a feeling I would have made a very bad thief.)
33. Gone to a different country.
34. Watched the Harry Potter movies.
35. Had an online diary.
36. Fired a gun.
37. Gambled in a casino.
38. Been in a school play.
39. Been fired from a job.
40. Taken a lie detector test.
41. Swam with dolphins. (I think swimming in swimming tanks is an achievement enough!)
42. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. (Amit Sana - Indian Idol 1)
43. Written poetry.
44. Read more than 20 books a year. (A proof that I finished my masters :P)
45. Gone to Europe. (on connecting flights! :D)
46. Loved someone you shouldn't have. (Shah Rukh Khan.)
47. Used a colouring book over age 12. (Is it lame to carry around water colours, coloured pencils, and crayons ? As I still do that)
48. Had a surgery. 
49. Had stitches.
50. Taken a Taxi.
51. Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once. (still do when I go online. Once in a while.)
52. Been in a fist fight.
53. Suffered any form of abuse.
54. Had a pet.
55. Petted a wild animal. (myself :-/)
56. Had your own credit card & bought something with it. (GRE/TOEFL scores, graduate school applications)
57. Dyed your hair.
58. Got a tattoo. (removable :D)
59. Had something pierced. (ears when I was very young)
60. Got straight As. (school days mein :-/)
61. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS.
62. Taken pictures with a webcam.
63. Lost something expensive. 
64. Gone to sleep with music on.


I tag all my dost-log (fellow blogger friends.) Feel free to add something of your own! Also reader friends who dont blog can ponder over the fun stuff which they can tick off :)


~nightflier

on stereotypes..

Picked up the tag from Neha's blog.
Stereotypes for me are more of a personal thing. Breaking comfort zone and expanding one's horizons. So more of a figurative thing than literal. 


1. Staying away from home for over 7 years now. From being a cry baby about staying away from family for even more than 5 hours at a stretch (Yes! I have given my mom a hard time in pre-nursery school days). So I broke my stereotype after standard 12 and have been carrying on the tradition since then!


2. Girls are normally supposed to love all the festivities related to weddings. But I am not really comfortable at weddings and such elaborate functions. Too much artificiality me thinks. From the clothes to make up to the whole extravaganza. I believe in the institution but not in the way things get implemented. I have a feeling that I will have to break this stereotype of mine in my own shaadi :P


3. I like programming. Now I dont know many girls or even guys for that matter who do. I have heard from people that programming/coding is like gadha majdoori, its slog work mostly. Whatever people may say, I think its fun to see things taking shape and working out, imagining and analysing situations! And this comes from a person who was computer illiterate 7 years ago :P


4. I haven't had cat fights with any of my girlfriends. Yes we fight. But on deeper issues like life choices and all. I am not sure if I want to get involved in one thou :-|


5. I am not comfortable wearing heels. I never feel an urge to tower over people with oozing confidence. I like flat sandal though. And you will find quite a range on my shoe rack ;) Same is the case with wearing heavy make up. I have tried it a few times, but I choose the otherwise.


6. I like to know about latest technology, inventions, gadgets (yeah without owning them). And I normally dont take a lot of time figuring out things with gadgets.


7. I love solving puzzles. I am still regular with solving Sudoku.


8. I am an Indian and I don't like cricket. I have watched quite a few matches, innings thanks to the craze at home!


9. I love cooking since the age of 13. May be. And thanks to mom who would let me interfere without being bossy. Eating out is a stereotype for me. Instead I like a nice warm home cooked meal. Ah the peace.


10. Not many people I know write long letters or ever wrote one. I still do it. May be I find a need to cling on to archaic stuff :P


11. I like learning new sports, languages, recipes. Learning for the fun of it and not mastering.


12. I prefer Raj kapoor, Dev anand over Tom cruise, SRK. Again the thing with archaic people :D


13. I am quite the independent types and have travelled alone (really long distances). Well most of the times company is preferred, but really enjoy travelling alone too.


14. I don't know how to play poker. Everyone around me seems to be obsessed with it. May be I need to learn it too, just to be with the crowds :D


And before I lose perspective anymore, I will wrap up my list. 
As Neha pointed out there are lots of other stereotypical things which I do too like loving mushy movies, being fussy about my hair (I love them!), crying in an emotional scene in a movie/book/serial, hating mr. Big for breaking Carrie's heart, being lazy, believing in cinderella stories etc.


So go ahead and pick up the tag. Would be glad to know your out of the way behaviour :)


~nightflier 

the open window

He said to her with tears in his eyes 'May be we should give us a chance once.'
She smiled and looked into his eyes. They had a petulant charm in them. With her hand in his, his heavily sedated brain dozed off.


And she thought about the night the call came. From city hospital. His bike had met with a minor accident leaving him injured. And the hospital staff had found her number as 'in case of emergency'.


For 2 days without any sleep she stood by his side, watched over him, took care of him, sobbing when he was asleep. He would wake out of his periodic slumbers and talk about the old days. How things had turned out and how they both were alone again. She just listened. For being with him meant the world to her.


With the thought of saying yes to his idea of getting back together she slept that night. For the first time in 3 days.


The next morning she woke up to an empty bed. Thinking he might be in the toilet she readied herself, only, to find out later that he had discharged himself very early in the morning.


And then she saw the dominoe castle falling in front of her eyes. May be some windows are never supposed to open. Not even under the pretense of sedatives.


~nightflier

my tick off list

Picked up the tag from here.
And since I specialize in lists, thought owing to the thought currents right now, this looks the most suitable topic to write on! :D


To think of it, I had always thought I am pretty immune (passive more like) to get ticked off easily by anything.
And I have realized overestimating one's capacities is something I am really good at!
So 'these are the 10 things that tick me off'.


1. Insincerity.
2. Excessive obsession with one's looks and appearance. Still dont understand when people can spend hours and hours in front of the mirror admiring themselves!
3. Loud talkers on phone. Megaphones as I call them, sometimes. It is extremely annoying!
4. Compulsive dominating nature. I am a saggittarian, the free spirit and blah lover. So such people should back off.
5. Taking someone for granted, without any regard to their feelings or state of mind.
6. Wasting food.
7. People passing regional comments about others without any knowledge of the culture they are talking about. For that matter dividing India in 2 parts, South and North and passing judgements. And more irritating part is groupism based on divides such as languages, food (vegetarian, non-vegetarian), culture etc.
8. 'Kya fark/farak padta hai' (what difference does it make). What kareena kapoor wore to the premier of Kal aaj Kal, definitely falls in this category. But such comments against unfair injustice just put me off. I might even consider judging the person as being shallow.
9. So who is your favourite bollywood actor. My answer - Shah Rukh Khan. And then some really stupid stuff about him being arrogant and blah blah thrown at me. Really ? I have my reasons/excuses for the stuff/people I like/admire. Banter I understand, but the need to get all elementary school about likes and dislikes, I find it childish. Same applies when people roll their eyes about Harry Potter, without having the bleakest idea about what its all about. Its not at all uncool if you haven't read or watched it. (If you can justify it i.e. :P)
10. People who force food habits on others. Forcing (aagrah in a politer tone) someone to eat something is fine to some extent, but to the point of compulsion is kind of annoying. Isn't it ?


And thus I rest my case.


Cliche.


~nightflier

few points me..

1. I think its torture to have your ex-employer in your network (read facebook, twitter, blogger, etc). Its like having to have a forced relationship with your ex. Every time someone new (a new hire) enters their life, you have to learn to ignore it or bear the heartache of why not me ???  In case of an ex you at least have the liberty to make a choice and not stay in touch. But after all the fundas of social networking that you have gulped down, one feels obliged to not sever ties in such (employee-employer) cases. Its like having to wait for someone else (a new employer) to be actually able to move on. Life is hard. I hope I manage to remain civil until someone else comes along.


2. I had decided to be strong and not show any human emotions about the whole situation. It seems I have no control over myself :P So having started the post on a seemingly sad (not tear inducing sad, but a more literal bleh! sad) note, I need to take corrective action. So lately I am on this lets gain some pounds mission. I have always been for following a routine when it comes to a diet. Like eating healthy, fresh food 5-6 times a day. This time the difference is measuring the calories and making sure I surpass whatever is required for me to survive. Not difficult. But needs a good memory to keep track. So with stick notes in and around my space, I am surrounded by calories. Just that in this case, we are on the other side of the weighing scale. Rare, eh ?


3. Those of you who are up for documentaries and stuff, should definitely catch the show called Vanguard. I got interested in it when I read the news of a US journo getting detained in Korea and Bill Clinton flying down to rescue them and then the journo naming her kid after him. (I still think I got interested in the news in the first place cos of him..still find him kind of cute :P) Nevertheless, its very informative and opens you eyes to globalization in a new light. I am hooked to it as of now.


4. As my dreams start becoming more materialistic (like buying pretty clothes to make yourself feel good, accessorizing for no particular reason) and less spiritual, I wonder if this change is happening for any good ? Since I kind of spent all my pre silver jubilee years in 'I dont care about all the above things' philosophy, I think this was bound to happen. Life is all about balance. Hoping that I find the balancing zero average case sooner or later. 


5. And I think there is a dearth of girl/female programmers in the world today (wow! I feel like I am talking for some humanitarian cause :P). That is one field girls should start taking seriously. I am bored of people rolling their eyes at me, when told that I can code in this, this and this language. I dont think girls have any less logical reasoning than guys. It is laziness and an attitude problem me thinks. We should not let the guys get away with all the emerging cool things. Please join the cause and dont grimace at the sound of coding. It can be fun if taken with a pinch of salt!


And thus I am done with my weekly updates. Dont forget to catch my movie recommendations and give feedback. Remember feedback is important in any social interaction venture. :P


~nightflier