Thoughts - filtered through the sieve

Getting that itch to write a philosophical post. Maybe also because birthday was around the corner and I cannot help but make a list. Of thoughts, things and my musings.

Travel - I increasingly feel that I live in a silo. I read only particular books (despite the efforts to include writers from different ethnicity, backgrounds, countries, languages, genres in my reading list). I watch only a section of movies that are released each year, which are mostly filtered down to me through big time film enthusiasts I follow on twitter. I consume 0 news or related media. Whatever 1-2% I consume is mostly again a filtered stream and aggregation of people I follow on social media. On a regular basis I 'hang' with people from a particular strata. Even my closest friends are from similar societal, financial backgrounds. Of course we speak different languages and grew up in different parts of the world. But you know what I mean, right ?

better things lie beyond open doors?

The only exception to this is when I am traveling, despite my propensity to hate it. It flattens the world and exposes me to people, weather, cultures I would have otherwise imagined while reading a book or never given a thought to. Whether its meeting a 60 year old dancer on the train to Salzburg and noting down her recommendations for the city. Or, listening to a middle aged Marathi kaku (aunty) who manages her home, farm and a resort while serving and taking care of her guests. Travel has made me connect with people at a very different level. This has not had an impact on me as a person. I think. Yet. But it has been educational. 2016 has been exceptionally good  to me in terms of travel. I hope the trend continues. With respect to finding time to travel and the means to make it happen in the material world, where money is required. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.

Time and wait - All through my 20s I struggled with being patient for something and then not being patient for the same thing. At times I chose to be patient for the wrong reasons and things never worked out. At times it worked out really well. But what I have learned over the years is, waiting is hardly a good strategy. Few things for eg. progressing in a career, becoming fit enough for running a marathon in under 5 hours or even finding the right person to spend your life with take time. But the preparation for them usually starts in the now. Earlier this year, I ran a marathon. I was not there physically when I registered for the race. Mentally I just felt like I could be there. Post 4 months of grueling and dedicated training, I arrived at the same conclusion. I was mentally there. Physically being there was going to be a long journey. One would rather argue that why go through all the pain if I knew this already. But that's not the point. My point is if I had not started I would not have known what it takes and whether I am willing to do it. Knowing by trying something out rather than waiting has felt rewarding to me. Taking that leap and traveling to places without worrying much about planning and money has made me really good with my expenses and account keeping. I have faltered at times, but mostly I have learned. I have become more thoughtful. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.

Being Conscious - Over the last few years I have questioned a lot of choices I make, whether it comes to the food I eat, clothes I wear, luxuries I seek etc. etc. and the decisions I make. It has made me conscious of the impact my decisions end up having, not only on me, but people close to me, my surroundings, my environment, my home etc etc. I am still learning to not do a lot of things on auto pilot. Rather think through even the smallest of decisions. It is a lot of work at times. But I am glad I have chosen this path. It has led me to declutter my life, and my physical spaces. I still am guilty of hoarding a few material possessions, but largely I am moving toward a lifestyle of less. And the less I need or feel the need for the more I feel the following.

Gratitude - I have wondered about this state of being grateful for a long time. I have even tried to write about it. On some days I have absolutely nothing. But lately, on most days, I find myself fascinated, curious and largely amazed by what the world has to offer. Even on hopeless days, when things feel like they are falling apart. It still is not an organic reaction or a part of me. But I am increasingly grateful. It has gone beyond just the people, work, choices in my life. It is more than that. Coming from a place I still cannot describe or put a finger on. But I am grateful.

May be what you seek, really, is seeking you?

Listicle

• 6 months being a vegetarian! yay! This was my long term life goal. And I am glad I could embrace it in my early thirties. Slightly inspired by Scott Jurek's lifestyle change and a lot more about trying to have minimal impact on nature and my surroundings. I know this sounds totally absurd, at least in my head, but believe me the more I think about it, the more I know I made the right choice. I have 0 cravings for chicken or any meat items. Initially I used to consciously tell myself to not gravitate towards the shrimps or the fish or the chicken. This was mere habit and did not take me long to change it. Another disclaimer : I am still eating eggs once in a while. Its because its easier to prepare eggs during travels and also easiest source of protein. Slowly I'll get there i.e. being a complete vegetarian. Next step in this journey : Growing my own veggies and food.

• My past few years' reading pattern suggests that I read non fiction just to add variety to my book lists. My personal grudge with non fiction is its boring most of the time. And I pick up a book only if its been recommended by someone I trust highly or getting rave reviews. This year I am trying to change that consciously. I have read 4 non fiction books till now (yay!) and none of them put me to sleep. I enjoyed each one of them. Needless to say they were really informative and at places inspiring. In fact the next 2 books in line are non fiction as well. I have put off some novels I wanted to read on the back burner since April. Talk about change.

• Recently I visited Las Vegas for a conference. I was least excited about being in the city. As expected I did not enjoy it one bit and was glad that I was there for work. This also saved me the trouble of writing a travel post. Although the only touristy advice I have is, do try the unlimited brunch/breakfast options at one of the casinos. We tried the one at Ceasar's palace and loved the variety of food.

• 6 months into this year and I have not registered for any running race. I am doing pretty good on the 'don't be so hard on yourself' pact I made with myself. My routine includes pretty much easy runs. And its unbelievable that I trained and ran 42 kms 5 months ago. Hence I like running. Its so humbling. Do the same thing over and over again. The moment you feel like you have arrived, you are back to being a novice.

Notifications free

I joined the smart phone bandwagon pretty late. So-oh late that by the time I was on whatsapp everyone in my life, was already tired/bored of it and was seeking out ways to replace it with something else. But I guess that's the ruse they used on me to finally get me on board. Like everyone else. Hooked to my phone and the pings and the notifications. As with every new toy a kid gets I was obsessed with my smart phone. Learning the tricks. Playing candy crush incessantly. Driving everyone around crazy by begging for a life. Virtual life. As with all millennial trends I quickly reached a milestone where I could not live without looking at my phone every few seconds. Well, I exaggerate. Every other minute is more like it.

Around 2014 year end, my phone stopped working for some reason I dont remember. When it finally started, I had to reset all the apps. Which gave me a chance to reconfigure notifications settings for all apps. I have always been a proponent of silent notifications, so I never had to worry about what kind of sounds my phone would create to grab my attention. Still the visual notifications were there. My OCD struck brain could not handle notifications count each app showed, for missed notifications. Also the unseen notifications panel on iPhone lock screen annoyed me to no extent. Getting rid of them one by one per app was testing my patience. So I got rid of them one app at a time. Starting Jan 2015 my phone went notifications free. 
Whatsapp
Facebook/Messenger
Gmail
Twitter
Instagram
Foursquare/Swarm
Skype
Goodreads
Viber
Dictionary
Quizup
Elevate
Foodpanda
Pinterest
All misc apps like drive, uber, ola, yelp etc etc.

These apps were the first on the list.
Then I muted all groups on whatsapp. I also left a few groups eventually (story later).
The only apps where I did want to receive notifications were runkeeper and words with friends (given the frequency and liking for these app activities). So they got full reign over my notifications tab.
A big fear while doing this was I'll miss out on stuff. So the in app notifications remained. For example close friends updated on facebook etc.

So what's the outcome of all this cleansing ?

The frequency of me checking my phone has not reduced much. But I feel a huge relief because I dont feel like constantly checking my phone. I do check it every other hour (see the difference!) but its more for twitter and ig feed refresh and sometimes to clear whatsapp group messages, most of which are forwards which I do not even bother to read (on most occasions! )

6 months later I realize, I have not missed out on anything super important contrary to my fear. I am very much in loop on things happening in my social network. I do have this sense of not being controlled by the urge to check something on phone or keep it charged all the time. I am falling into a pattern to check emails. Like on my phone I check emails only in the morning after I get up and once I am home from work (which is sometimes a lot more than I would like). For the rest of the time, I am always logged into my computer, so does not matter. I have realized most whatsapp/fb/twitter/instagram notifications dont require my attention. But I still respond to them in a timely fashion, which serves another OCD of not having any response/reply debt.

Of course I am not sin free. Texts/iMessages, Calendar and work mail/slack are few notifications enabled apps, I have not yet gotten rid of. I am almost scared to death to miss out on anything (important) related to work. So I am not getting rid of visual notifications for them anytime soon. Also I do check work emails at ungodly hours and reply to them as well. So that is going to need a lot of discipline. I am not sure if I would like to get rid of Calendar alerts. They help. All the time!

In the end I am happy to announce that it does not kill you. Only makes you stranger.

Kashmir

Travelling to Kashmir has been one of my childhood dreams. It came true in an unexpected fashion last week.
After the quite epic and never ending #anshitanukulkishaadi in Jammu, we headed to Kashmir. The wedding and kashmir culture merits a super long post of its own. And I think the beauty of kashmir and its description is best left for personal experience. So I'll write about touristy stuff and general do's, dont's, scams to be avoided and things to be covered. This is going to be a long list.

1. Always check weather before entering the valley. We were well equipped with winter jackets, caps, gloves, boots, pairs of socks to tackle the untimely and delayed snowfall. 

2. If possible stay in Srinagar and travel to and forth. Gulmarg is an hour's drive away and Pahalgam is 2-2.5 hours drive away. Sonmarg is 3 hours away. So one day trips are possible to all major touristy spots. Of course, if the weather permits and you want to do elaborate hikes at pahalgam and enjoy skiing at gulmarg then makes more sense to stay overnight.

driving around dal

3. If staying in Srinagar, try to stay around the scenic drive around Dal lake. We set camp 5 minutes drive away from Dal. So everyday when we headed out, we would get to witness life around Dal. Also gives you a chance to take a good run, if you are a runner i.e.

4. I found food particularly cheap in Srinagar. Krishna dhaba offers good vegetarian options. Ahdoo's and Mughal Darbar are must try for non vegetarians. And please don't eat chicken in Kashmir. Mutton is the real deal!
Food is comparatively expensive at gulmarg, where the altitude and tourist destination tag, justify the rip off. For eg. a plate of maggi costs 70 rs at gulmarg.

maggi and chai!

5. At gulmarg, you get winter jackets and snow boots on rent. Its a good idea to take these if you plan to play in the snow. This way your winter clothes remain dry and safe. Rental price is 250-300 Rs. per person depending on how much you can bargain. Buy the extra pair of snow proof hand gloves if you are not carrying them. These will come in handy at other destinations as well. Don't buy sunglasses, carry your own.

6. Once at Gulmarg base, you may have to travel by a different vehicle, owing to snow covered roads and safety issues. We took a sumo for 1500 Rs. for to and fro ride and the vehicle stayed at the base of phase 1 for the entire day.

7. We found the sledge rides at the base of phase 1 to be a scam. We took 2 sledges and later figured out that the distance to the gondola station could have been walked easily. Unless you have senior citizens with you, I suggest NO-NO to sledges. If at all you take one, then bargain as if your life depends on it.

8. Same applies for a tourist guide. Don't take one if possible. And if at all you take one, bargain! 

9. If you are not taking a tourist guide then buy your own gondola tickets to phase 1. These cost 600 Rs. per person. If there is heavy snow around, then a visit to only Phase 1 is worth the money. If you are into advanced skiing then makes sense to visit Phase 2 as well (ticket is additional 800 Rs.). We visited only Phase 1 and were quite happy. 

10. If you are walking your way around Gulmarg, then don't miss the walk through the golf course.

the romantic in me could not get enough of all this!

11. Route to Pahalgam merges and separates to the route to Jammu from Srinagar. So make sure your driver has fair ideas of security checks. 

12. Eat at roadside dhabas on the way to Pahalgam. Once you have crossed Anantnag, things get super exciting in the form of a scenic drive. So having a meal by the road side with the lidder river flowing alongside makes for quite an adventure. 

13. Make sure you have checked which points are open and which are closed before heading to Pahalgam. Saves disappointment once there. Also if you are staying at Pahalgam, don't miss the hike to Tuliyan lake. We did not do it because of bad weather, but its supposed to be extremely amazing.

14. In Pahalgam as well, do not spend on guide. Do spend on winter boots if its snowing. We spent 30 Rs. per person.

15. You have to leave your vehicle at Pahalgam taxi stand to reach any point around. You can take ponies to Aru valley from there or another car to Betaab valley. The prices are standard according to taxi stand union. So no bargaining here for taxis. There are few temples on the way which are worth a visit, owing to Pahalgam being one of the start points of Amarnath Yatra.

16. In Srinagar there are 8-10 major attractions. If you can, then miss one of the gardens and include coffee drinking experience atop a hillside cafe instead. I know cliched but worth the time!

17. Keep aside 4-5 hours in Srinagar for shopping at Lal Chowk. Paper mache, wood carvings to stoals and shawls, one cannot say no to anything!

18. The Srinagar airport has a lot of security checks, so leave for the airport 3 hours in advance. Usually there's a jam outside the airport, so would save you a lot of anxiety. Also, post all security checks one has to identify baggage personally. Don't forget to do this!

These are the *only* tips I have from my experience. The culture and people of Kashmir are warm and hospitable. Learn a word or two of Kashmiri from them :) Ending this post with the surreal shot of Betaab Valley, Pahalgam.

'In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.' - Albert Camus

Pune run beyond myself - half marathon

Pune running is an active bunch of amateur runners in Pune city. PRBM (pune run beyond myself) is the flagship charity event organized by this group along the lovely route of NCL/Pashan/Bavdhan (if you know your bearings around Pune you will know what I mean).

After the hyderabad running nightmare I really wanted to run a half marathon to gauge the improvement in my running stamina and form. So I signed up for the half marathon at PRBM (which my trainers at running potential did not approve of!). Reluctantly I resumed the training routine. Running 4 times a week with a comparatively longer run a week before the actual run. I even started developing a cold feet a week before the run. 21.1 km started feeling like a ridiculously long distance to be run by anyone. (Full Marathoners I respect thee!)

With all these background activities going on in my head, race day arrived. This was exactly 48 days after the Hyderabad run. The pleasant Satara Hill run had assuaged the running blerch a bit. But there were still doubts in my head. I wanted to validate my own beliefs.
Like a kid getting nervous before her first stage appearance, I started feeling jittery before the run. A point came when I could hardly contain my excitement so I made myself watch the tragic Anna Karenina. That did help! 

So race day arrived. And if you like me get excited about racing events like school exams, you would know the emotions. I was ready with warm up at 5.15 am (race was to start at 6am). But despite that I reached the start point late ie around 5.45 am and made a dash for the start line. Thankfully I caught sight of  the 2.30 hour pacer and I snuck behind his bus.

My strategy for this run was to stick with the 2.30 hour bus for the most part and try to finish the HM under that. My earlier HM timings were more than that so it was a huge task in my head. The gun went off at 6 am sharp and I slowly made it out of the crowded beginning section of the route. 600 meters into the route and the 2.30 hour pacer started walking. I had not confirmed his race strategy earlier, so this run-walk routine came as a big disappointment to me. It became clear to me that I had to run the race with my own bus at my own pace and just try to be ahead of the 2.30 hour bus all the time.

With this little improvisation I got my mind back into the race. The earlier part of the route was uphill so my slow but constant pace helped. I ran with a pace of 6.45-7 mins/km during the first 5 km, having crossed the 5km mark at 35 minutes. This is when part deux of my strategy came to the fore. I took my first water break for exactly 30 seconds, where I kept on walking sipping 200 ml of water. My next water break of 30 seconds came after the 7 km mark. Next 20 second electrolyte solution break came past the 10.5 km mark. And so on. The return route was quite downhill and the weather was perfect for a long run. Of course the sun had started shining down on us by the time we started our journey back to the start point. But it all felt like good sun god behavior. Post the 15 km mark, my urge to take more and longer water breaks started creeping in. This is when the real test began. I managed to cross the 18 km mark under 2 hours and gave myself a treat by taking a 1 minute long walking water break. With only 3 kms to go, I knew I could achieve that elusive timing. 

But these 3 kms were not a breeze as my over imaginative brain had pictured. I took another walk break on a quite uphill part and totally lost track of time. It was only when I saw people behind me overtake me, that the competitive person in me awakened. I started running with all my heart (literally, you should have seen me panting :P) and finished the race in 2 hours 24 minutes and 30 seconds.

This is my personal best timing after having run 3 half marathons. I have realized, the only way to get over a bad race (or run) is to run another race.

Until SCMM in January then!

'This is water'

Because, literary worship sometimes is the only way out to feel sane.

'[T]he real value of a real education [has] almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

‘This is water.’

‘This is water.’

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime.'

Taken from - http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/09/12/this-is-water-david-foster-wallace/

~nightflier