new first ?

A first is a first. After migrating to old new territory I was just happy being happy. You know how small kids obsess over a new shiny clean slate ? No ? That's what I was doing. I would go to the page look at it longingly and smile and close the tab. I even tried writing about 'Moonrise Kingdom' 'a film so fragile that merely describing it may ruin it'. And after 2 weeks in drafts decided against it. 

So this is what it has come to. Yesterday I missed going out for a run, thinking I felt like writing. I did but the words were not coming. Today I deliberately did not go for the run because a girl needs to work. So I started writing. You see how things flow for me? No? It's ok yaar.

Life is all about creating one (I guess) after you have been given one. Too cryptic may be.
So last week visiting home, we compelled aai to get rid of her age old relic 'the iron almirah', known as the 'godrej almari' in most Indian households. Well it was just an eye sore with the shiny wardrobe in the same space. The idea was to move it out, use it for the sundry winter items. 'Push' 'Pull' and we moved it out all right. But the balcony was not just ready to let it stay there. So decision was taken that it be donated to the building gym facilities. Later it was decided to move it to another flat where a teacher is planning to take classes. But after talking to the maid who showed interest in the iron giant, it was decided to give it to her.

In all this we totally ignored aai's feelings. Well it was her first 'private space' in a joint family post marriage. She tells it was made after giving deliberate measurements, making sure the then house's geography wouldn't be disturbed. From mere clothes to us growing up, the almari spans decades in our lives. She is attached to it the way I am attached to my blog. I miss my old blog. I miss my old posts. Of course I can read them anytime.

And this is why I am going to ask aai to keep it. (well if the maid does not insist).
This is how one accepts being like one's mother.
Overtly sentimental and attached.
Of course we can detach ourselves. But reason we must.

2012 Reading Challenge

I set out to read 60 books, I ended up with 35 (same as last year!)

Of course I did not finish the challenge. But then I tried and did the best I could to reach the goal. Hopefully I will read the same or even more number of books in 2013.

So here are the books I read this year. (I know its 10 days early and I can still fit in a book or two but I have other things on my bucket list so don't mind spending these 10 days not reading.)

Stats from goodreads widget!

My most favorite books from this year were 'The Paris Wife' by Paula McClain and 'Hi-Fidelity' by Nick Hornby, '1Q84' by Haruki Murakami, 'Pratispardhi' by Kiran Nagarkar.

The most difficult read was a tough choice between 'Cloud Atlas' and 'The unbearable lightness of being'. Though I liked both!

I hope to read much more in 2013 too!

Wish you all a good-read 2013! :)

Standing up

Letting evil thrive : 

from here

I am thinking about the numerous times I have ignored guys (sometimes guy-friends) indulging in blatant objectification of women. I also have close guy-friends using the term 'RAPE' lightly around women. I have ignored that too. Instead of ignoring I think I could have spoken up and shown my irritation/anger over such objectionable behavior. Of course, saying all such talkers are repressed psychopaths is a harsh judgement but not taking anything related to RAPE or women's respect and privacy and space seriously, seems even more judgmental to myself.

I hope we make topics of taboo a point of discussion. I hope no girl sees her any weaker. I hope sexuality is not repressed but willingly accepted. I hope families treat girls and boys as equal. I hope boys are taught to respect women and their space by example. 

I hope the victims heal. But we as people heal better and faster.

I hope we become more proactive and thus have the need to be less reactive.

Showing up

Today I felt like showing up here, so a picture post for things on my mind for the past few days.

Idyllic! Perfect even!
here

My home is going to have this movie-watching-heaven attic!
here

It's easier to recreate the fairy-tale like spaces for day dreaming :)
here

Wish you all a merry Christmas and a grand year end ;)

'This is water'

Because, literary worship sometimes is the only way out to feel sane.

'[T]he real value of a real education [has] almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

‘This is water.’

‘This is water.’

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime.'

Taken from - http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/09/12/this-is-water-david-foster-wallace/

~nightflier

Name day and the jazz!

Couple of days back I inched closer to the big 30. here 1 inch = 1 year. Strangely I did not have the same old excitement and was more like let's get this day over with. Most of which I spent cooking and cleaning the home after the 2 month long stay away from it. Plus brother is here too! So add a dash of bickering and unexpected gifts, which made the birth day quite complete!

So I was thinking what I should do/plan after this milestone. May be for the sake of it ?
Continuing from the list I made sitting in central park, here's another list for myself.

1. Do not shy away (get bored) from meeting new people.
2. Travel to the secret list of countries you made.
3. Run. 
4. Contribute more to any task you take up.
5. Show up more than expected or usual.
6. Stand up for what you feel. Hold your ground.
7. Being cynical can wait a few more years. There are lots of nice people around. Stay away from the not nice ones. Simple.
8. If someone annoys you put them in the waiting list. If they continue to do so, no reservations!
9. Read. Read. Read. Complete the reading challenge at least this year, goddammit!!
10. Ask questions. Good questions.
11. If you cannot relate with your friends or what they say, nod your head. Nod some more. They will understand hopefully. 
12. New experiences and adventures. Create and share. Can never be enough of any of those!
13. Feel inspired. 
14. Recommend watching Avatar the last airbender (the cartoon) to everyone! (I finally watched thanks to KT and lee!)

A day before the birthday, I felt like getting depressed about the so many important things/people I do not have in life. But then I thought at least I have the brains and energy to tackle through most of the stuff. And when even that does not work, I am surrounded and supported by the most awesome bunch of people. Online and offline. So depression can wait. Hopefully.

And because its also thanksgiving, I think I can never be thankful enough for the above mentioned factors.

~nightflier

New York

How does one come about to write about a city romanced by so many ? After having had the SATC and woody allen influence, its hard not to look at the city through borrowed glasses.

Neveretheless I tried.

I journeyed in Coach USA to get down at port authority of New York and walk down the dreamy landscapes of central park. How can one not love central park! At first sight its kaleidoscope of people, couples, friends, teenagers, oldies, dogs, trees, foreigners, onlookers (like me) hit you like a storm. When you do settle down, there is just scope for being oneself. When the feeling of not belonging runs high, the idea of getting lost in the central park-ness of new york is just fine! And over the course of next 3-4 hours I read a book, walked aimlessly and sat on stones to answer questions about happiness and contentedness to a couple of chinese student film makers. You know I tried to sound profound to those guys. But blurted out saying, I am reading a book I have wanted to for a long time and that to me right now is happiness. Also told them that I was going to meet some friends later, which equated to contentedness. If at all I become a celebrity one day, one can imagine how boring tabloids will sound.

So on so forth. I walked and walked. With the sun going down as my indicator. At one moment I thought I could do this all night and for the next day and the day after. But boredom set in. Was frantic to be reunited with friends. Familiar faces. Took a turn on 42nd Street towards 5th avenue. Times square beckoned. In the wait to meet friends bought souvenirs. 'I Love NY' and the assorted bunch. Some Irish-ness and forever 21 later, I was taken. The glitz, the power, the wealth. It is this which makes people migrate to this city. I found Mumbai-ness in it. Because my liking for Mumbai has evolved over the years, NY liking came by easily. There is just so much to look at and soak in, it was not at all possible for me to remain unaffected. Promise to self - NY on foot and trains and buses. Sometime soon. Oh and a visit to the Public library in the day time. Not just to click pictures outside a closed one.

Taken!

On a slightly tight schedule the next day, Brooklyn bridge visit happened. This was my 4th bridge in the cities I went to in US, I did not feel the excitement. But it got me closer to people I had not really grown apart from. Some interesting conversations later, I thought to myself, may be this is the point of bridges. Literal. Metaphorical. Call me slow.

My most humbling experience in this trip was visiting Ground Zero. I am not sure what I felt, but it felt like a symbol of resilience and not a place of tragedy. The towering freedom towers make your jaw drop and feel small. 

I am awed by cities*. I may be a city-girl even! The most therapeutic thing about them cities is they make you lose you to find your way back. And because one finds strength in this routine. However cliched this may sound.

~nightflier

*Chicago love, you are the most loved!